You might be a redneck if...

[The Dark Destiny]

You might be a redneck if...

Science isn't the first thing that comes into your brain after hearing the term the "Big Bang Theory."

You jack off while watching Nascar.

You ask your sex partner when the family reunion is.

You aren't dead after ten rounds of Jose Cuervo.

You have a Mountain Dew bumper sticker.

You stab a basketball with a pocket-knife to feel less stressed.

You crack a rib when your wife is on top.

You use the saying "You need some ice for that BURN?!"

You actually read this god-damned thing!

 

[Zaphod Beeblebronx]

fuck!!! I'm a redneck. I read it.

 

[Hypoxium]

Rednecks can't read.

 

[Angel]

here's one:

if you thought the world was gonna end on Jan. 21, 2009

 

[TeeCee1010]

Rednecks can't read.

Truth.

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

somebody fucking close this thread before it spirals out of control

 

[Zaphod Beeblebronx]

ok I'm safe then

if your a guy and you mow the lawn naked but no one can see your private parts

 

[The Dark Destiny]

here's one:

if you thought the world was gonna end on Jan. 21, 2009

Snap!

 

[Zaphod Beeblebronx]

your a redneck if you have a light and you try to light a fire like this
<

 

[TeeCee1010]

here's one:

if you thought the world was gonna end on Jan. 21, 2009

Eh?

 

[Some Dude1]

ha i always knew i was a redneck... and now i have proof ;-p

 

[Angel]

Eh?

obama's inauguration.

you'd be surprised how many people thought it WAS the end of the world.

 

[TeeCee1010]

obama's inauguration.

you'd be surprised how many people thought it WAS the end of the world.

Ah, that's weird.
New president = end of the world?
i think not.​

 

[Angel]

Ah, that's weird.
New president = end of the world?
i think not.​

new BLACK president

 

[Haxon]

end of the world is december 21 2012.

the mayans predicted it.

omg, thats when either we get a new president or obama will get reelected!!! :23::angry:

 

[TeeCee1010]

end of the world is december 21 2012.

the mayans predicted it.

omg, thats when either we get a new president or obama will get reelected!!! :23::angry:

I saw a show on the history channel about that and i think it could have been interpreted as anything.
I trust no mayans.
ancient civilizations got nothing on me.

 

[Deleted member 36435]

rednecks are from the south and stereotypically hate black people
obama, being the black man that he is, became president on that day so rednecks thought that was the end.





so did biden

 

[TeeCee1010]

rednecks are from the south and stereotypically hate black people
obama, being the black man that he is, became president on that day so rednecks thought that was the end.





so did biden

That's why i like living in my northern state.
I need not be a redneck.

 

[Spic Steve]

unfunny

 

[Angel]

so did biden

i'm still waiting on that international crisis