Great chapter!
And can someone do me a favor and post in my fic so I can post Chapter 6. PLZ
Its at the bottom of my sig ^^
Edit ~
And as I usally do:
I fixed all the mistakes in the chapter.
And there was about 5 small ones, so u really are getting better at that!
^^
Oh and u still put "no" instead of "know"
LoL
I do the same thing with "u" instead of "you" in my story.
Well here it is -
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 19: Brothers…………
Lilli just stood there a death glare on face that could make babies cry. Sora just stood there, after a while he said “I hate your brother” With a sweet smile. “I agree” Riku said from behind Sora. Soon they were all talking saying “Totally agree with you” Or “They should lock him away!” and so on.
Lilli just smiled a sad smile. She had to grow up with him, she knew him better than anyone, even their parents. He was always around her, when they ate, when they brushed their teeth before bed.
It was like he looked up to her or something, but then he changed……From a sweet little child that everyone loved, to a bloodthirsty devil who everyone hated.
Even still he followed her, it used to scare Lilli a lot, she used to tell her parents that he scared her, but they just laughed and said it was a stage she was going through and that he would be back to his normal self soon.
But he didn’t…..
He got worse, we couldn’t have pet animals because in the night he would kill them and then burry the bodies in our garden. Most our family wouldn’t come visit us because he would scare them and there kids by telling scary stories or digging up the remains of our dead animals.
So that is why she hated her brother so much. I mean who wouldn’t? If you had a brother that scared people away so you could never have any friends. Who killed your pets, so not even animals could be your friends.
Wouldn’t you hate him? Toby knew he scared Lilli all along, so that is why he followed her……...To scare her………To scare her to death.
Yes, death.
One day he scared her so much when she cutting some bread for her sandwich for lunch he whispered in her ear “I no you don’t like your life……So go on……You have the knife, do it.” Lilli stood in shock for a moment then quietly whispered “No…”
So this is why…All these reasons, he almost made her kill herself; you would be crazy not to hate someone like this.
But Lilli…Lilli was brought up with him, so it was even worse.
Lilli smiled. Then shouted “Come on then guys! We got to save Kairi!” Sora smiled at this, then summoned his Keyblade and held it up in the air and shouted “Yeah! Let’s go save her!”
With that they all ran down the hallways smiling. Shouting things like “Lets Save Kairi!” Or “Were going to take you down, Toby!”
Soon enough they got to where they wanted to be, Toby’s study. They tried opening the door but it was locked so Riku shouted “Sora use your Keyblade!”Sora raised his Keyblade towards the door.
There was a blinding flash of light and they door opened, Sitting there, in his black chair, was no other than Toby.
“Oh? So you got out?” Toby said smiling, he then noticed his Lilli “Oh hello dear sister! How was your lovely guest room?” Lilli stared at him and yelled “Horrible!”
“Oh well that’s not a nice thing to say!” He said looking sad; he then stood up “Because of that mean remark, you’re going to have to be punished!” He then created a portal, but before he left he summoned a load of Heartless, he then stepped through, and the portal closed.
“He’s probably gone to the main hall!” Lilli shouted. “But we have to get ride of the heartless first!” Riku shouted. “Heartless? So that’s what there called?” Roxas said looking at the black creatures “You’ve seen them before?” Sora asked his double.
“Yeah, and I started fighting them and then that Key thing that you have appeared!” Roxas shouted.
Sora looked surprised, Riku did too. “You can summon the Keyblade?!” Riku shouted. “Yeah, what so great about that?” Roxas said looking confused.
“We will tell you later! Just summon it and help us fight!” Sora shouted then ran towards the heartless. Riku and Zi followed holding there weapons. Roxas did what he was told and summoned the Keyblade and ran towards the heartless like his friends.
Lilli smiled and looked at Naminè “You have some guy there” Naminè blushed and whispered “Thank you, your Lilli right?” Lilli Smiled and said “Yes, and your Naminè” Naminè smiled and nodded her head.
Naminè got out her sketch pad and stared drawing Kairi in a pink long dress dancing with Sora, “Wow you’re really good at drawing! Hopefully something like that will happen at the end of this adventure.” Lilli said looking at Naminè’s picture.
“You know what? I have a feeling something like this WILL happen when this adventure ends, and I think that’s not very long from now.” Naminè said smiling.
As they stood by the sidelines watching the boys fight, they thought “Is Kairi alright?”
As Sora fought he couldn’t help but think “Kairi…I will save you, and we will go back to Destiny Islands with Riku and be happy…I promise.”
As he thought this, tears fell from his eyes. He wiped them away before anybody saw, but Lilli saw him crying. She gave him a smile, and he smiled back and thought “I will save you Kairi…”
And can someone do me a favor and post in my fic so I can post Chapter 6. PLZ
Its at the bottom of my sig ^^
Edit ~
And as I usally do:
I fixed all the mistakes in the chapter.
And there was about 5 small ones, so u really are getting better at that!
^^
Oh and u still put "no" instead of "know"
LoL
I do the same thing with "u" instead of "you" in my story.
Well here it is -
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 19: Brothers…………
Lilli just stood there a death glare on face that could make babies cry. Sora just stood there, after a while he said “I hate your brother” With a sweet smile. “I agree” Riku said from behind Sora. Soon they were all talking saying “Totally agree with you” Or “They should lock him away!” and so on.
Lilli just smiled a sad smile. She had to grow up with him, she knew him better than anyone, even their parents. He was always around her, when they ate, when they brushed their teeth before bed.
It was like he looked up to her or something, but then he changed……From a sweet little child that everyone loved, to a bloodthirsty devil who everyone hated.
Even still he followed her, it used to scare Lilli a lot, she used to tell her parents that he scared her, but they just laughed and said it was a stage she was going through and that he would be back to his normal self soon.
But he didn’t…..
He got worse, we couldn’t have pet animals because in the night he would kill them and then burry the bodies in our garden. Most our family wouldn’t come visit us because he would scare them and there kids by telling scary stories or digging up the remains of our dead animals.
So that is why she hated her brother so much. I mean who wouldn’t? If you had a brother that scared people away so you could never have any friends. Who killed your pets, so not even animals could be your friends.
Wouldn’t you hate him? Toby knew he scared Lilli all along, so that is why he followed her……...To scare her………To scare her to death.
Yes, death.
One day he scared her so much when she cutting some bread for her sandwich for lunch he whispered in her ear “I no you don’t like your life……So go on……You have the knife, do it.” Lilli stood in shock for a moment then quietly whispered “No…”
So this is why…All these reasons, he almost made her kill herself; you would be crazy not to hate someone like this.
But Lilli…Lilli was brought up with him, so it was even worse.
Lilli smiled. Then shouted “Come on then guys! We got to save Kairi!” Sora smiled at this, then summoned his Keyblade and held it up in the air and shouted “Yeah! Let’s go save her!”
With that they all ran down the hallways smiling. Shouting things like “Lets Save Kairi!” Or “Were going to take you down, Toby!”
Soon enough they got to where they wanted to be, Toby’s study. They tried opening the door but it was locked so Riku shouted “Sora use your Keyblade!”Sora raised his Keyblade towards the door.
There was a blinding flash of light and they door opened, Sitting there, in his black chair, was no other than Toby.
“Oh? So you got out?” Toby said smiling, he then noticed his Lilli “Oh hello dear sister! How was your lovely guest room?” Lilli stared at him and yelled “Horrible!”
“Oh well that’s not a nice thing to say!” He said looking sad; he then stood up “Because of that mean remark, you’re going to have to be punished!” He then created a portal, but before he left he summoned a load of Heartless, he then stepped through, and the portal closed.
“He’s probably gone to the main hall!” Lilli shouted. “But we have to get ride of the heartless first!” Riku shouted. “Heartless? So that’s what there called?” Roxas said looking at the black creatures “You’ve seen them before?” Sora asked his double.
“Yeah, and I started fighting them and then that Key thing that you have appeared!” Roxas shouted.
Sora looked surprised, Riku did too. “You can summon the Keyblade?!” Riku shouted. “Yeah, what so great about that?” Roxas said looking confused.
“We will tell you later! Just summon it and help us fight!” Sora shouted then ran towards the heartless. Riku and Zi followed holding there weapons. Roxas did what he was told and summoned the Keyblade and ran towards the heartless like his friends.
Lilli smiled and looked at Naminè “You have some guy there” Naminè blushed and whispered “Thank you, your Lilli right?” Lilli Smiled and said “Yes, and your Naminè” Naminè smiled and nodded her head.
Naminè got out her sketch pad and stared drawing Kairi in a pink long dress dancing with Sora, “Wow you’re really good at drawing! Hopefully something like that will happen at the end of this adventure.” Lilli said looking at Naminè’s picture.
“You know what? I have a feeling something like this WILL happen when this adventure ends, and I think that’s not very long from now.” Naminè said smiling.
As they stood by the sidelines watching the boys fight, they thought “Is Kairi alright?”
As Sora fought he couldn’t help but think “Kairi…I will save you, and we will go back to Destiny Islands with Riku and be happy…I promise.”
As he thought this, tears fell from his eyes. He wiped them away before anybody saw, but Lilli saw him crying. She gave him a smile, and he smiled back and thought “I will save you Kairi…”
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