Well, um... I don't really know how to begin. Guess I'll start from when I met her:
Last year, me and some friends started playing some RPG with people from other classes [Of our school]. We'd play after school. So I started meeting people I didn't know until then. [I'm not good at meeting new people, as I am extremely shy. I'd rather just stay with the people I already know] One of them, the guy that was providing the material we needed to play, had a sister, that would go see us play and wait for him to go home. [This guy is a year older than me, and his sister is of my age]
That was in the beggining of the year. I don't remember having noticed Mary before [I'll call her Mary from now on - it's not her real name, of course], and she didn't get much attention from me at that time, too.
Now, at the year's end [Two months before vacations] Mary changed classrooms to mine. She made friendship with most of my friends, and me, very quickly. After one week, I already considered her one of - if not my best friend. [Remember when I said I was shy? Yeah, you can make it x10 with girls. I've only had 2 female specimens as friends in my whole life] I started to like her. A lot. I fell in love with her... [I've never had a girlfriend, nor have I ever kissed a girl or anything like that. I know it doesn't help me being ugly, and a fatty. And shy. I did fall in love with other girls before her, though.]
One month later, she told me she was dating a friend of mine. [I'll call him George] I didn't understand how they dating so fast, they've met only a month ago! [Yeah, stupid, I know] So, after she told me that, thinking about it made me realize I would have to forget her. And I tried, but everytime I wasn't fully concentrating my attention to something, she appeared in my mind. Listening to musics made me think about her; finding something funny or interesting made me think what she would have to say about that; if she had a problem, I would try to help: lending money, walking her home, even deciding on gifts for George.
It's been nine or ten months from when she went to my class. I've been to her birthday party, to movies with her, she's been in my house to play videogames and all. But she always brings George together. Not that I can do anything, though. I know it would be suspicious if I said to her: "Hey, why don't you come over to my house alone?". That's stupid, the only thing I don't want right now is to let them know about what I feel. I'm scared of losing their friendship. [He's been my friend for almost seven years] I know she, at least would understand. But there's no way she would look at me the same way she does now.
At the same time, I can't stand what I'm feeling, and how I can't express it. I think what I feel now is wrong, but I can't do anything about it. Also, I want to be next to her all the time I can. I don't know what to do anymore... It's like a war going around in my brain. [I've never been the sentimental type. I've never let my feelings win a battle in me, because I think they can only make things worse.]
Well, phew! That's my situation, basically. And what I think about it. Maybe you more experienced guys could give me good tips on what to do or what not to do. [Hopefully]
Thanks for taking your time reading that. [If you did] But thanks in advance to everyone that tries to help me.
P.S.: The only person I've told this about is my mother, although she's not helping at all. [She says I should kick George's ass and just date her already ¬¬]
Last year, me and some friends started playing some RPG with people from other classes [Of our school]. We'd play after school. So I started meeting people I didn't know until then. [I'm not good at meeting new people, as I am extremely shy. I'd rather just stay with the people I already know] One of them, the guy that was providing the material we needed to play, had a sister, that would go see us play and wait for him to go home. [This guy is a year older than me, and his sister is of my age]
That was in the beggining of the year. I don't remember having noticed Mary before [I'll call her Mary from now on - it's not her real name, of course], and she didn't get much attention from me at that time, too.
Now, at the year's end [Two months before vacations] Mary changed classrooms to mine. She made friendship with most of my friends, and me, very quickly. After one week, I already considered her one of - if not my best friend. [Remember when I said I was shy? Yeah, you can make it x10 with girls. I've only had 2 female specimens as friends in my whole life] I started to like her. A lot. I fell in love with her... [I've never had a girlfriend, nor have I ever kissed a girl or anything like that. I know it doesn't help me being ugly, and a fatty. And shy. I did fall in love with other girls before her, though.]
One month later, she told me she was dating a friend of mine. [I'll call him George] I didn't understand how they dating so fast, they've met only a month ago! [Yeah, stupid, I know] So, after she told me that, thinking about it made me realize I would have to forget her. And I tried, but everytime I wasn't fully concentrating my attention to something, she appeared in my mind. Listening to musics made me think about her; finding something funny or interesting made me think what she would have to say about that; if she had a problem, I would try to help: lending money, walking her home, even deciding on gifts for George.
It's been nine or ten months from when she went to my class. I've been to her birthday party, to movies with her, she's been in my house to play videogames and all. But she always brings George together. Not that I can do anything, though. I know it would be suspicious if I said to her: "Hey, why don't you come over to my house alone?". That's stupid, the only thing I don't want right now is to let them know about what I feel. I'm scared of losing their friendship. [He's been my friend for almost seven years] I know she, at least would understand. But there's no way she would look at me the same way she does now.
At the same time, I can't stand what I'm feeling, and how I can't express it. I think what I feel now is wrong, but I can't do anything about it. Also, I want to be next to her all the time I can. I don't know what to do anymore... It's like a war going around in my brain. [I've never been the sentimental type. I've never let my feelings win a battle in me, because I think they can only make things worse.]
Well, phew! That's my situation, basically. And what I think about it. Maybe you more experienced guys could give me good tips on what to do or what not to do. [Hopefully]
Thanks for taking your time reading that. [If you did] But thanks in advance to everyone that tries to help me.
P.S.: The only person I've told this about is my mother, although she's not helping at all. [She says I should kick George's ass and just date her already ¬¬]
