KHI Editorials: 25 Qualities of a Hero

Details

Published on March 20, 2008 @ 10:17 pm

Written by monkeybutt

Hey guys! I'm Chihiro, aka *Oathkeeper*. I provide icons and colored manga pages for the site, which I hope all of you have enjoyed thus far! If there's anything you should know about me, I'm a huge dork and will pretty much fangirl about anything and everything.

Today we have a special treat. The launching of our newest feature: KHInsider Editorials! Every so often, whenever there is no major news or event to cover, we will make the headlines ourselves, with special write-ups, commentary, and fun concerning the Kingdom Hearts series. More details will be provided later. Since this is our first editorial, please comment on this feature by clicking read more at the end of the update. You can even recommend what you'd like us to write about!

So presenting our first KHInsider Editorial, written by me! As we all know, the heroes of the Kingdom Hearts series all have very cliche and funny attributes you could only expect from the writings of a Japanese roleplaying game. What better way to highlight these qualities then to make fun of them!

1. Angst is good. No need for explanation.
2. Inner conflict is a must. Now, this may include battling your (personal) inner turmoil - like choosing whether to fight with a shield or a sword. Or you can go to the extremes and battle with your "other half."
3. LACK OF COMMON SENSE.
4. Act first, then angst about it later. Refer back to number 1.
5. Zero shock factor; I guess having a random key magically show up in your hands isn't that unusual. The same goes for fighting with cards. Apparently, throwing cardboard cards with magical powers isn't strange at all. Nope.
6. Must be able to fall at great heights without getting injured. Jumping off a roof doesn't seem to hurt. If anything, it's a guilty pleasure.
7. Shoes that are 10 sizes too big, along with a pair of puffy pants, must be a staple in your wardrobe.
8. Must be emotionally detached to surroundings and the feelings of those around you.
9. Must still believe in Santa Claus.
10. Unable to understand metaphorical speeches. Direct is always better.
11. Must be arrogant enough to think you can save the world on your own - aka, abandon your friends in a mysterious white castle you've never seen before.
12. Schooling is not required. This may explain the statement in number 3.
13. Must have a cooler, smarter, and better second half.
14. Must have hair that could kill as well as defy the laws of gravity. This also includes water.
15. There's no need to understand girls. At all. Whatsoever.
16. Breaks all the rules of basic child safety - i.e.: talking to strange hooded men, running with dangerous objects, leaving your home without telling your mom.
17. Willingness to surrender anything and everything for a girl you haven't even confessed your love for (well, verbally that is). This also includes self-inflicted pain.
18. Keeping a one-track mind is important. (Kairi)
19. Computer unfriendly.
20. Knowledge on how to fly a Gummiship is a must have quality.
21. Besides flying a Gummiship, knowing how to physically fly is a must.
22. Must take time out from saving the world to prove manly strength in tournaments.
23. Must be able to understand Donald. This also includes the Japanese voice actor for Donald.
24. Have a brain that makes Goofy look like the next Albert Einstein.
25. And most importantly, don't forget about the angst.


Comments below!