I've read a lot of threads where some people share their sob stories. Let me do mine. It seems like, I'm stuck in a rut. I live the same day as if I've already lived it. My life isn't exactly glamorous. Everyday, I get up and walk the hallways at my school, and I want to know what I'm meant to do. I don't even know what I am anymore. I keep wondering what purpose I have in life. I can't talk to family, or friends because they'll just run and tell some shrink about it. I had thoughts of suicide since the 8th Grade. I keep telling myself, maybe I'll do it now, or tomorrow. I hope that doesn't freak anybody out. I was 13 and it was because of a stupid reason like a girl wouldn't go out with me, but now I feel like I have no direction or purpose. This may sound weird, but I have dreams that actually come true in life. Whether it's a little moment with a good friend, or a big situation. I dream it, and it eventually happens. I'm not saying my life is worse than the people in Africa, or The Middle East, because I'd really be self-centered. I'll never know if I'm good at sports because my mother (the same who said I was so pathetic, she couldn't brag to her co-worders) won't let me do anything. I don't even have a life. There's no way out. I feel backed into a corner with only one way out. I'm still unsure about it.
Listen killing yourself is just running from that purpose and wasting it. I doubt you are an olympic God however. You sound intelligent by your 1st sentence , have confidence in yourself. You do not need a shrink or this drama you are giving us or yourself. I have been in your situation myself,
I still do not know what I am doing but in the end , life can be so much fun and so interesting. Start reading books, or become involved with science. There is so much you are capable of but it is not going to just find you, you have to dsicover yourself that is what life is the opportunity to discover these things.
You are not going to help yourself considering these hurtful thoughts yo yourself and negative ideas. In high school the idea is imposed that the normal social successful crowd has a girlfriend, many friends, part of the sports team, trust me lad 1000's of people such as myself did and do not have this luxury.
Higshcool is not the real world though it is just s stage that makes you better in life , if you let it. Just get through it and there is no shame .
The real world is out there, it is called being open minded to your possibilities not narrowing them down to one last desperate choice. Come on now you have more intellect , and character to bring to us and this world than to assume you only have one choice now, dont you!?
Everyday you have several choices, do not feel bad if you do not always make the right choices, or if you never do.Life is not that crucial right now, so wonder about the real world, look towards it with confidence,and pride because you know that you are intelligent , and if you do not accept that you are intelligent you are never going to seek out your many choices and have the confidence to pursue them. HAving this one dark choice of yours is un-intelligent and you know it, you are smarter that that I can tell. The world is a dark place, but for someone as bright as you , you should be able to work in with confidence and light your light shine now.
You always have so many possibilities. Enlightenment does not exist by fate but by choices, usually. So even though you are fated to have a horrible sounding mother, and you feel as if you are un-intelligent possibly and not going anywhere in life consider that it is not fate that you must suffer and care so much about what she says , it is your choice ! You can choice to be great but you are going to have to work at it!
AS for women, do not sweat it, i understand how it is to love them and even not get your shot. It is ok. If I met you at a a bar , in a few years, we would be drinking away the same pains.
That is where friends come in, they can relate and help you, forget that stupid idea of yours to end it all, a smart invidiual as yourself sees what he is still capable of by seeking it out, not by hiding from it and throwing it all away, that just says that you were truly capable of nothing and you know that you are!
Listen I know the drained feeling of depression, it is ok. It hurts all over I understand but in the end all of that is just drama , drama, snap out of it. If you are smart enough to realize drama then you are smart enough to work past it, and you are. High school is all about drama, get through it and you will be not only stronger but more intelligent and ready in life to seek out what you want to . Getting past these problems in life will sharpen your wit, and prepare you in life just even more.
If you want a girlfriend then do not give up on yourself and just keep trying different gales and in fact you will eventually have one,but you got to believe in yourself and start caring about the person who is going to get you there, and there ALONE...YOU AND YOU ALONE. Not your mother , or friends, or doctors which you do not need but YOU. AS soon as you believe in that person , care about that person and have confidence, the sooner women will think you are a fun, manly type of person to be around...you do not need to be a tough guy even . Just get things down, the right and logical way by using what materials you have, your intelligence, your wit , do not let it waste now because as of now the more you use it the closer you get to clarity and where you want to be in life, that will never change.
Get hobbies or something, and if you ever need to talk to anyone just pm me.
