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What the hell? O__o
Sorry, but it's just kinda...confusing, in all ways.
I mean, there's a 'Leader' guy, then he suddenly...becomes unimportant. X__x
You make so much of a mention about him in the first chapter, then he's barely in the second chapter.
Otherwise, besides grammaical errors and some choppiness, this fanfiction has hope.
I'll follow it for a while. =D
Blindfolded-Unknown said:Im gonna post on the first post that "THERE ARE GRAMMAR ISSUES" haha. And anyway, Remember the secret ending, the guy walking towards the knights. That is the guy Im referring to as "Leader." And you don't know if he's not important yet, hell Im only in Chapter 2. He could be the main character (He's not). But, wait for more chapters and the story will unfold.
Mr. said:I know that.
But, you make a big issue about him, like they're looking for someone...important, and he isn't featured in the Second Chapter. D:
There's not even a conversation.
He's just there...then disappears, and they all reappear somewhere else.
But, anyway, I'll stay.
Kairi&Sora 4ever said:it was alright i guess..better than the first two..but im still not hooked..and theres not much suspense..idk itll get better as you progress so just keep giving it a shot and ill keep giving feed back
.:kao-chan:. said:I sometimes find metaphors and "death" a good friend of suspense...and cliffies <3 Dont worry, an idea for a good cliffhanger will come as you write more =P
.:kao-chan:. said:^ me either! XD
I heart flashbacks. Kewl, i cant wait till tomorrow! =D