Fanfiction ► Kingdom Hearts: Predawn

[Axelfan008]

This is the story for a manga my sister and I are creating. Under NO circumstances is this to be stolen, :35:. Other than that, all I have to say is enjoy, and no derogative comments, because this isn't cannon. It will be posted in just a second.

Edit: also, this is Volume I, Chapter I.

 

[Nyangoro]

Probably should have had it ready beforehand, but whatever.

 

[Azrael]

Where is it?

 

[Axelfan008]

Kingdom Hearts
Predawn​

Fate. Are we really fated one way or another? Can we break the chains?​

Prolouge​

It was utterly silent as the man sat on the beach. With his hood drawn over his face, his emotions and thoughts were concealed to the casual observer. As he sat and thought, looking out at the ever present moon, a shaft of light appeared to his left. He glanced over and rose from his sitting position. Another man, younger, with silver hair stepped out of the light before it vanished. The silver haired man spoke then: "You are a traitor, you know how it has to be."
In response, "No, how does it have to be?"
"I have to destroy you." While they were talking, they both summoned their keyblades, the silver haired- The Pumpkin Head, and the cloaked man- the Bond of Flame. Sparks flew as they began to duel, each intent upon each other, for they were both masters, and niether was more skilled than the other. As they fought, a portal of darkness apeared, and out stepped another cloaked man, and with him he brought the Oblivion. He stepped up to the man with the Bond of Flame and cut him down with one stroke. He turned upon the silver haired man and said: "he should not have given you so much trouble."
"I'm sorry," silver hair replied, "he was much stronger than you or I had anticipated."
The cloaked man gave a snort, then said; "The Mission must continue, what of the Kingdom Key? Have you found it?"
"Unfortunatly no, it has proven most difficult to Locate."
"It must be found before the year is out, for it is vital to our plans."
Silent, they walked into another portal of Darkness, and left that empty realm. As they left, a lone keyblade dissapeared in a flash of light. ​

The Darkness consumes us all. We come from it, live in it, and die returning to it. As inescapable as it is, why do some pursue the light? It is weak, and quickly becomes overshadowed. One cannot exist without the other, light and dark, but darkness is infinitely more powerful and eternal. ​

 

[Nyangoro]

Well, not much really going on right now. Can't comment on the story until I know more.

I hope you will make your actual chapters longer, because this prologue was short even for a prologue. You should also add more description, so that we know the scene looks and what's going through the POV character's mind.

Finally, put a space between paragraphs. Makes it MUCH easier on the reader.

Good luck!

 

[Axelfan008]

thanks for the tips! This is supposed to be a manga, so getting the picture on paper without loseing too much is hard.

 

[Axelfan008]

(Sorry For the double post)


Chapter 1
Radient Garden-1 year later

Mizu walked slowly down the tiny ally. She had lived in Radient Garden all her life with her adoptive father Sid, so the streets were familiar to her. Her father built Gummi Ships, and she had been sent to the market to buy a part.

Mizu was 5'3 with gray-silver short hair. She wore a cheakered shirt with a small vest, and long jeans. She had a Heart chain hanging from her hip.

When she reached the market, she went straight to the Gummi Stall, ignoring the merchent's other wares. She bent down a peered over the Stock.

"Do you have the new Dispel block in..." She trailed off as the man behind the stall was looking in terror over her shoulder. She spun around and saw dark creatures Filling the square, and froze with terror. The all charged her and suddenly her mind cleared.

She spun and kicked one in the chest. She overbalanced and fell, because it was solid, but dissapeared when she hit it. She rolled onto her back and punched another one, but this time, before she connected, her hand glowed, and in it appeared a Key, silver on the body, but gold on the 'hilt'. It tore the creature to shreads.

"What?" she thought, but then she was covered by the mass of writhing creatures. Just as quickly, a bright light washed over her, and the creatures dissapeared. Standing over her was a boy of Fourteen, in his had he held another 'key', this one fashioned like two red and silver wheels of spikes. His hair was almost improperly spikey.

"Your welcome" he said with a grin, "you did pretty well for yourself, what keyblade is that."

"Come on Kokoro!" yelled another boy mizu hadn't seen before. "you have time enought to flirt later! We need to report this!" Kokoro's cheaks flushed red with embaressment and he turned and ran away. Mizu looked down at the key in her hands.

'A Key...Blade?"

Halls of Radient Garden Castle

"So, the Keyblade Master has been found. This is intriguing."

Two men in hoodless cloaks stood outside of the King's door, waiting to report. Both carried keyblade openly, one the oathkeeper, the other the Rushing Wind.

"I am concerned about her safety" Said the one with the Oathkeeper, "She recieved her keyblade during a hearless attack.'

"The way I heard the report, it was more like an invasion."

The received permission to enter the King's Chamber, and stood before him to make their report. After listening closely, the king spoke.

"You must not breath a word of this to anyone. People will panic if they learn about this attack. Bring the Girl to me." They bowed and Left. The King sat at his desk and pondered silently.

Darkness. not inherently evil in any way, yet so useful to our endevors. the "minions" of light fear the darkness because of its power. The Minions of darkness fear the light because of its totality. Light is Light, but darkness is many things.​

 

[Axelfan008]

Chapter 2

Mizu Rushed home after the attack. She had attempted to throw the keyblade away, but it just returned to her hand, so she gave up. She had almost reached the door to her house when the dark creatures jumped out at her again and surronded her. She struck at one, two, three before the rest dissapeared. She breathed a sigh of relief, then froze as she heard thumping sounds coming from behind her. She slowly turned around, and was met with a horrific sight.

The creature was six feet tall. It had a dragon face, with red tendrils comming out of its back. It was covered in chains. The beast let out a roar, then charged toward her on all fours. Mizu raised the keyblade in defense, but was bowled over. The beast raised a claw a raked her stomach.

Suddenly a keyblade hurled out of nowhere and struck the back of the creature. while it was distracted, Mizu stabbed upward, killing it. A cloaked man walked up to her and pulled her up. He handed her a bottle marked with a star.

"Drink this, it will help." he said without preamble. She drank, and groaned as she felt her skin knitting back together. When she was done, the man told her;

"You must come with me." She shook her head, still reeling from the after affects of the potion. "You do not understand the severity of the situation," he said in reply, picking the Oathkeeper up off the ground.

"My father" she said weakly.

"You will be able to protect him better by leading the Heartless away from here." While he was saying this, he was Pulling her away from the house by her arm. She complyed, and they hurried down the street to the Castle, Hollow Bastion.

Heartless are pure darkness. Does this mean they are a more natural being then us? We all have Darkness in our hearts, but are able to walk the relm of light. If the heartless are our true forms, would it not be better if this gift was spread to all?​

Edit: Sorry for the short chapter, my brains not working.​

 

[Axelfan008]

before i post chapter Three, an interesting thing happened while my sister and I were creating this. We already had name s for most of our Character, but wanted to rename the trio to fit the Earth, Water, Wind theme. Now the Girl was already named Mizu, but we just picked it becasue it sounded cool (actually, we got it off the credits for kingdom hearts I). but when we look up the translations for water... There it was! My sister freaked out, it was very funny. Just one of those odd coincidences that pop up now and then.

 

[Axelfan008]

Chapter 3

Mizu stood nervously outside the king's door with her guard. He was a large man, hefting a huge keyblade. It was fasioned like a sword, covered in spines, with a crown for the key. She had been standing there for a half hour, with a person who had no interest in Smalltalk. She stood there, shifting her weight from time to time, until, finally, the door opened.

The Cloaked man (Yochi) stood in the frame, and beckoned her inside. She walked forward and gave a nervous glance back at her guard, who broke is demenor and gave her a small smile. She then lost sight of him as Yochi Closed the Door.

The King was seated behind his desk. Yochi took up a guard postion behind the king's sholder, and Mize sat in front of the king. They were all very silent. The Two men were studying her. So silent, that after another while, mizu was fed up with waiting.

"Why don't you tell me whats going on here, or let me leave!" She Yelled. The King gave Yochi a nod, who then left the room, and leaned forward onto his desk. He tented his fingers and Began;

"You are the keyblade master, though you are not a master, and that worries me." She Looked at him for a second, then said;

"Why don't you start making some sense. What was all that gibberish supposed to mean?"

"It means you are ill suited for the task ahead! A Great trial lies ahead of you, but you might not finish in one piece!" The King Thundered. "A second Darkness covers all the worlds, and you, as weilder of the Kingdom Key, are the only one able to Stop it!"

"But how?!?" The King then walked to the door, and let back in Yochi. After a wispered conversation, the King turned to Mizu.

"A Second darkness threatens all worlds. With the Blade you carry, you have the ability to open any doors, any locks, but that Blade in particular, with a few others, has a special purpose. it can Lock the Door to Darkness, and thus may be the thing that saves us all."

"But I've heared that story, the Door was supposed to be in Radient Gardens. Why do I need to go on a great quest?"

"Because while that door was shut, there was another, but it was lost to reckoning. You must find it, and Yochi and his apprentice will go with you."

"I don't need them!" Yochi Spoke up then;

"You do. You do not know how to use your Blade, and you do not know how to fight the heartless. Your previous victories aside," he said, interupting her, "are merely because the heartless were not expecting you to fight back."

The King had walked back to his desk and sat down. he stared at them, and said; "You are the hope of us all, Mizu. Listen to Yochi. Learn with Kokoro, his apprentice, and save not only this world, but all the others as well."

Suddenly the door burst open and in ran Kokoro.

"We're under attack!' he gasped.

With The Power of Darkness, one could rule all. With the Heartless at one's side, he could spread his darkness and engulf a thousand worlds. Now, one only needs to find a World's Heart,a dn he can use that world to sail the cosmos, reeling all in.​

 

[Axelfan008]

Chapter 4

Kokoro was enjoying the town with his friends. All of them were excited about the battle today, and were talking loudly about it, despite their orders not to. Kokoro was more silent then he would normally have been, having slayed a Dark Thorn single handedly, and surprised many of his friends by saying:


"Arn't you a little worried, about the heartless?" His friends looked at him, then one replied, "Naw, the king and us Keybladers have always held them back, relax."


But Kokoro Couldn't relax. His mind was running in circles, shifting between the Girl and her mysterious Keyblade (He still didn't know her name) and the heartless attack. After a while, his friends began to pay him no heed, and continued talking uproarishly.


They Were walking home along one of the high terraces that surrounded the town, when he looked out over the canyons. He then did a double-take when he saw leagions of heartless approaching the town. He motioned to his friends, who then ran down to the city gates.


Kokoro was running up the road that lead to the Kings Castle when he heard the first sounds of battle, then a load noise like tearing metal.

"The wards are down!" he tought, then stopped as many Heartless appeared in front of him. He Valiantly fought them off, but was soon overwhelmed. In a flash of light, many heartless dissapeared, and he saw his savior; A tall man weilding a keyblade called the Ultima. Kokoro nodded and gasped his thanks, then started again to run.


When he finaly reached the castle gates, a large battle was underway. Keybladers and Guards alike were fighting off hordes of Heartless. Kokoro slipped through the fray and ducked inside a secret door to the castle, up on a postern.

He fought his way don the halls to the king's chamber, and burst in,Yelling: "We're being attacked!"

The king and Yochi sprang immediately into action. The king yelled an indistinct instruction to Yochi, who grabbed the girl (Hey that was...) around the middle, then sprited out the door, calling for Kokoro to follow. Kokoro ran out the door after him, panting because he had run for without a rest.

They ran through the battle, Yochi proving his prowess as a Keybalde master, effortlessly cutting down heartless one-handed, while Kokoro fought just to keep up. Past the Market they ran, and into the Gummi field, where they boarded their ship, and blasted off out of the swarm of heartless, just in time.

The Door to Darkness. Long ago Ansem found it, but it was destroyed, locked away for eternity. There were once several such doors, connecting our realms to others, the Door to Darkness, the Crossroads, the Field of Key. But never has any been able to cross their thresholds, and conquer the Darkness within. Except one...​

 

[Axelfan008]

sorry for not writing in a while (those of you that read it) I've been very busy. i will probably come out with a new chapter next week after easter.