The alarm clock blared loudly. Xaine smacked it, and sat up. He looked out of the mansion window... same old same old. He stretched and yawned. Then he looked over at the calendar. Today was Tuesday, right...?
Circled and in red on the calendar was "The Experiment". Then suddenly he remembered. Today was the day... he'd finally get a heart. He'd finally be able to feel emotion, and he'd be able to live like a normal person. That's what Nix had told him. He smiled. Sure, he didn't actually feel happy... he literally couldn't, but if he could feel, he knew that this was as close as he could get to it. He jumped out of bed, quickly half-tidied the bedsheets, got dressed in his usual black garb, and ran downstairs. Today might be the best day of his life.
* * *
"So, what do you think?" Nix asked. "About finally obtaining a heart." He ran a hand through his elbow-length light-bluish hair. His voice was quiet and soothing, and his eyes were the same shade as his hair. He was the picture of cool; calm, smooth-talking, and calculating.
"It's exactly what I've wanted... for seven whole years." Xaine said. "It almost feels like a dream." He smiled. "If I could feel right now, my heart would be pounding and I'd be all kinds of giddy."
Nix smiled cooly. "I'm glad. We've done a lot to ensure your recieving a heart. You're the only person that the heart is compatible with."
Xaine hung his head in thought. Why was this? Why was he the only one who could recieve the heart? Was he really that special...? Could the person he was recieving the heart from be his "somebody", that he was born from...? There were too many questions...
Nix seemed to notice. "I believe we will have a great many questions answered when we implant the heart."
Xaine nodded. "Yeah. Thanks." He hoped he'd never be separated from Nix and the others. After all, this was the only place that really felt... right, to him. He smiled again. "Unless I had a heart, I couldn't be happier, Nix."
* * *
"Well, here's the doner!" Maxil exclaimed. He pointed to a boy in suspended animation, no older than Xaine himself. The boy's hair was brown, and extra-spikey. His eyes were closed, and he was in clothes that just seemed to have too many chains and useless zippers on them. "What's his name...?" Xaine asked.
"Well, Renaux told me his name was Sora. And that he was supposedly a really powerful wielder of the Keyblade. Oh, and that his nobody was a member of the previous Organization." He scratched his spikey, flamey read head. "Didn't he tell me something else, too...? Eh, whatever." He rolled his eyes, which were the same fiery red as his hair. "You ready, buddy?"
Xaine nodded. "I can't wait."
Nix opened up a book. "Okay, then. Lay on the operating table." He pointed to a table that looked a little more like a chair than a table, which was situated a few feet from the tank that the boy was suspended in. He lay on it, eagerly anticipating what would happen. There was no medical equipment here; it wasn't a "surgery", actually, according to Nix. Rather, the other members of the organization would use their energy to transfer the heart to him. They had all been so nice to him... to think, that they had been willing to let him be the one to gain the heart. But then again, Nix had said that he was the only one compatible with the heart. That brought about his earlier question... Why Xaine? But did it matter...?
"Okay, now clear your mind, Xaine. There must not be any wandering thought while performing the transfer." Nix said.
So he did. He listened to Nix, muttering something under his breath... and Xaine started to feel a strange warmth. The heart...?
"Good, now lead the heart to Xaine." Nix said. Xaine looked, and saw the heart hovering slightly over Maxil's hands as he walked the few steps over to him and the table. He lay back again.
...deep inside there's a light that never goes out!
"The heart!? What's going on!?" Nix cried. "This is impossible! The heart is reacting of its own accord!"
Something felt... different, inside Xaine. The heart hadn't been implanted yet, but... *Is this really... what's right...?* he suddenly thought. *this heart... it belongs to that guy... what right do I have to take it from him...?*
...I'm always with you, too! I'll come back to you... I promise!
*His feelings, his emotions... his beliefs, his thoughts, his very being... it'll all be lost, because I stole it all from him. And it all won't even be my emotions, or my feelings, or my being... it'll be his, inside me. It won't be... right!*
"Maxil, quickly! We must put the heart in, before it becomes too unstable!"
*I can't take his heart away from him... I just can't!*
"Right, I'll get it!"
"NO!" Xaine shot up, and jumped off of the table, ran to the door, and turned around.
"What are you doing, Xaine!? If we don't implant the heart now, then we may never get the chance!" Nix shouted.
"I'm sorry, I..." he shook his head. Were there actually tears forming in his eyes? "I can't. I can't just take his heart!" And he turned and ran again. Through the mansion, bumping past Arxsa; she shouted at him in annoyance, not knowing he was running because he was leaving, forever.
He emerged from the mansion, and burst through the gates, into the main part of Twilight Town. It wasn't long before he was far enough away from the mansion to collapse and lay on the ground for a few minutes.
*Why...?* he thought. *I'll never be able to face them again. They've done so much for me, and right when they're about to give me what I've wanted for so long, I just... I can't...* He couldn't fathom it. Why? *Because it was wrong...* He couldn't feel emotion. So why did he realize it was wrong? Why was it that he realized that he couldn't take the heart when he did...?
You may not have a heart, but a remnant of it remains, and it drives you to what's right.
The voice. The one that he'd heard in the mansion. Somehow it reminded him of that boy in the tank...
You have a light that won't ever go out. Everyone does. But you're the first one of them that's found it.
"I DON'T WANT A 'LIGHT'!" he shouted. "I WANT A HEART!"
What do you want to do? What do you really want out of life?
"I... I don't know..." Suddenly finding himself starting to calm down, he relaxed a little, tried to think. "I just want a heart..."
Then you'll never get it. The only way to find your heart is to understand what your dream is, to understand what your truest desire is...
"I don't have a desire... my desire would be in my heart, and I don't have it." He punched the ground in frustration, then clutched his hand as it pounded.
Why don't you try looking for it, then? If you find your desire, you find your heart. If you find your heart, you find your desire. But you gotta really look for it.
"..." Xaine looked up at the sky. The never-darkening sky. Not quite nightfall, not quite day.
So when you find your heart, will it be filled with light? Or darkness?
"..." Xaine stood up. Light and darkness, good or bad, love or hate, whatever those were... "I don't know. But I guess that's why... I have to find it." He said.
Good. You've taken the first step to finding it, already! You can do it!
"...I hope I can." He said. He had to do it on his own, too... he couldn't go back to Nix or the others. Doing so would mean they would try to take the boy's heart from him again... so it was up to him, and him alone, to find his heart.
Are you ready? We'll do this together.
Xaine nodded. "Okay... I'll do my best."
