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Fanfiction ► The return of the boy lost in darkness.



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The betwixt mind

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This story follows some one new named Talxon A boy who loomed too close to darkness and some strange events took place afterwards. He later appears as a new entity, but not a heartless and not a nobody. Hes something new. And dont worry Sora and Riku make there appearance as well. But this story is kind of going like Star wars. It starts in the middle and shows the beginning later on. Now let the story again.

Chapter1 Enter Talxon

"I never expected myself to return here..." Said a young dark skinned boy standing in a field over looking a town. "You had no choice"interupted a hooded man with an ominous voice."the strongest hearts reside here, you should know that." "The town of dawn... My home." "Talxon focus on our mission and quit daydreaming" Said a girl about the same size as Talxon. we better go, if we want those heartless and nobodies. " "Yeah... I know." Then the three vanished from the field almost like light. Meanwhile on Destiny Islands Sora and Riku were sitting on the paupu tree nibbling on some sea-salt icecream. Suddenly Pluto comes as if out of no where with a note fastened to his colar. " What is it boy?" Sora asked nealing down to grab the note. "Wait, thats the King's seal!!" Riku said with both joy and fear in his voice. With that said Sora quickly opened the note and read it with a nervous stare. "No." "What is it Sora?" Riku asked standing in front of Sora. "The king believes that the worlds are in danger... again! He wants us to go to a world called The world of beginning." " Lets go." Riku said with a serious strain in his voice. Once they arrived at the world Sora stared at how beautiful the world was and stared at the rising sun. " Hey don't forget why we're here, besides the king might be here too." Riku explained. When Sora and Riku reached the town they noticed that the town was being rampaged, but by who they didn't know. But they did feel the powers of darkness around them. They quickly searched the town and came to a strange house. It wasn't bizzare looking but it was the only house left untouched by whoever was destroying the town. "I'll go in, you go check the rest of the town. " Sora said with a suspicious expression.
"Alright becareful." Said Riku. Sora checked the house and entered a dark room with a dark skinned boy looking at an old picture. "I'm sorry everyone." the boy said. "Uhh, do you know whats going on in this town? The boy turned around quickly and starred at Sora. "Who are you?! What do you want?! " The boy asked with a terrified look on his face. "Just wanted to know what was going on with the town." Sora answered. Suddenly the boys voice and mood changed and a serious look came upon his face. " My name is Talxon I used to live here. I got to close to the darkness and..." "So you"re a nobody and you're after Kingdom hearts!" Sora interupted summoning his keyblade. " No I am not a nobody but I used to be. I used to be a heartless as well. Don't you remember? Sora. " How do you know my name?! Sora asked. "Mmm, I don't think I'll tell you. But I think I'll test my heart on you." Suddenly Talxon open his arms and on the left side of his chest two swords emerged. Then a long staff emerged from his back that was edged with two identical blades. He then pulled the swords from his chest and the staff thrusted from his back twriling over his head. He then let go of his swords and they began to float in the air. Talxon then shoved his hands forward and thrusted Sora out of the room and onto the street in front of the house. " What power." Sora said with a frightened look on his face. Then Talxon appeared two feet from Sora and said: "Well, shall we begin."

END OF CHAPTER 1
Hope you liked it. Oh and comment.
 
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snowdog

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M'kay. First off, do you type this out in MSWord, or a similar program before posting? There are a few errors in spelling and grammar, so try to use a spellchecker before posting. Second, use new paragraphs when someone new is talking. Example...

"I never expected myself to return here..." Said a young dark skinned boy standing in a field over looking a town.

"You had no choice"interupted a hooded man with an ominous voice."the strongest hearts reside here, you should know that."

"The town of dawn... My home."

"Talxon focus on our mission and quit daydreaming" Said a girl about the same size as Talxon.

See? Makes things easier to read, and easier to see who is speaking. Also, you need to include a little more description. Other than that, the story seems to be going fine. Make these changes, and you'll improve a lot! :3

<3 <3
 

The betwixt mind

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Thanx Snowdog I dont know about the spelling but I do know that I'll be using that new paragraph thing in Chapter 2. Preview of chapter title: "The new enemy revealed." The truth is I meant to Space things out but I forgot. With it being my first fanfic and all.
 
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The betwixt mind

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The dawn nearing twilight
Chapter 2 The new enemies revealed

Riku made it to the heart of the town and only found two beings wrapped in darkness turning innocent people into heartless. One holding a massive ring and the other appeared not to have a weapon.

"Hey, who are you?" Riku asked.

"Huh, what... oh its Riku." one of them said.

"Wait how'd you know my name?!" Riku asked in frustration.

"Thats not important right now." another answered.

"What is important is that we test your strength.

Then one of the dark barriers fell and inside was a girl with purple hair with red and yellow eyes. After that the other barrier fell and within was a man with a hood over his face and two glowing red hands.

"Alright, if its a test you want...

Riku then drew his keyblade and began to charge leaping into the air and striking the man down. He then turned to the girl and began his attack. But suddenly the hooded man stopped Riku's attack with just one hand.

"And you're supposed to be a keyblade wielder? If I had heart you'd probably win because I'd be too busy laughing at what pitiful strength you have." The man said with a fake laugh.

"Then that would make you a..."

Before Riku could finish his words the man used his other hand to knock Riku off balance.

"Naught's Gateway!!" The girl yelled.

Then the girl appeared and unleashed a powerful attack that sent Riku into some debris.

Riku emerged from the rubble bruised severely.

"You... What are you? Riku asked while coughing.

The man answered: "I am a mere shell."

Then the girl said: "Must you be so serious Anex?"

"You just answered you're own question Ren." He answered.

Then Riku passed out from wariness. When he came to Ren and Anex were gone and a short figure with round ears was standing in front of him.

"The king?"

End of chapter 2
Hope you liked it. Comment plz.
 
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The betwixt mind

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Chapter 3 The ultimate power: Twilit aura unleashed

Meanwhile un front of the strange house Talxon and Sora continued their fight. Sora had the upper hand as he blocked all of Talxons moves with ease. Then suddenly Sora used reflect to send one of Talxon's moves back at him, leaving him bruised severely.

"You're not as tough as you look." Said Sora with a satisfied look on his face.

"No. Said Talxon. I won't lose here. Not now and not to you.

"It looks like you'll lose here." Sora blurted out.

"Now I'll show you the full power of twilight!!! RRRRAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Just then a strange yellow and black light surrounded Talxon and at the same time his weapons turned to dust. Sora watched in astonishment at how much power was flowing out of Talxon. The dust from his weapons revolved around his hands and one turned blue and the other turned white.

"Behold the power of Twilight and the magic I govern. Magnet and reflect together as one. And now the end of the keyblade's chosen one." Talxon announced.

Then for a split second Talxon was gone and behind Sora. He then swept Sora off his feet with his with a shake of his wrist. Sora landed and assumed his stance.

" So, it looks like you not as strong as you look. Talxon said in a wise remark. I think I'll add your heart to my collection".

End of chapter 3

Sorry its short. Comment please.
 
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