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Fanfiction ► ~The Twelve Ballads of Leval~



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Masquerade

Where's battlecry? :(
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Prolouge

The Omniverse. A seemingly infinite collection of universes, galaxies, and worlds. Endless and Forbidding. Powerful yet weak. Infinite possiblities lie throughout this constantly streching space, and the repeating galaxies which appear out of no where. One world should be good enough for Civalization, but past the weak planet of Earth, their lie many species, thousands of different kinds with their own special qualities. With this known, are humans truly the most advanced species of living? Obviously not, since there intelligence level leads them just enough to travel small parts of space, very small parts. Maping their own universe would seemingly be impossible at this point.

Tales of great beings are being spread throught the span of space, yet knowledge doesn't reach to every end of the Omniverse. It takes time, decades, centuaries, eons, yet they all mean nothing at the rate knowledge passes. Does it even matter if someone learns something first? Perhaps it does to those whom wish to become superior in every way, but is that even possible?

Questions such as these lie unanswered, but with time constantly passing, new knowledge passes, and technology enhances everywhere. Not just in one galaxy, but slowly and surely technology is becomeing advanced, very advanced for this day and era. The fact is, the fastest wins. Those with the greater technological weapons have a much greater chance of winning any war that they get themselves into. It's common knowledge, but obviously not everyone knows this ever so basic concept yet. It is a race of intellect. Those whom have the smartest species inturn will be just that much closer to harboring much more great power, yet power lies in one other thing, rather than its technology.

There are the people. Sadly it is not all the people who give help, it is only two kinds, and one other kind whom hurts it. The first being scientists. Their intelligence is needed to further progress life everywhere, even if it hurts the nearby population in any way. The second is what is known as Super Beings. Those with great power require great responsablity, which is now known by everyone and everything. This is a rare case, when a being of any species is born with a special power, or into a special species. It all works on a certain type of DNA, yet at this point, they do only one thing, protect. Their jobs throughout the entire Omniverse are to save what they want to protect, and you would obviously think that it is the right thing, and it basically is.

The one and only thing that has plans of death for anyone or anything are demonic beings who get overwhelmed when they see death. Perhaps it is something they are ment to do, but nonetheless, they shouldn't kill innocents for doing absolutly nothing. There are certain heroes who will stand up to these beings, and they are the ones who inturn become famous for saving a world, or something in that vacinity. Since there are thousands of these heroes out of the trillions of normal people, it is right for them to be protectors, since they are the ones with the power. Some weak, and others rightful of the name of a God. There are many people of great power who can be known as an everyday person, but the true fact is that they have the power to decide the life and death of an entire civalization. It means a lot when you think about it throughly.

Then there are the greater heroes. Those known everywhere throught the infinite space, and have the power to destroy anything they wish to without trying. Great power comes with great responsabilty, but does everyone know that? Is any hero smart enough to use their special power for helping someone, or must everyone be selfish and do nothing for those in need of help. That is where the term 'villian' comes from. Usually it is a demonic being, possibly even a hero gone bad, but there is always dark to counter-act the light. If there was no darkness, everything would fall apart, slowly but surely. It's just common knowledge to know that every action has a reaction, so think of it as lights reaction being darkness. Perhaps a world without darkness would be better, yet it is not physically possible.

So in basic thought, heroes. Here to help, or here to destroy? There is one of each kind, but the great power of ages now passed are disappearing, and obviously new people must step up with their own powers, so that in turn, they would gain there own fame for saving the worlds, galaxies, and universes. Even if there was just one hero who would go out to become more powerful, and be able to go into combat with greater demons, who wish to control the Omniverse, and everything that inhabits it. Then there lies one question, who will rise up and try to dent some of the greater evil. There has to be at least one person out of the Trillions that exist within the universes, yet who?

Zaldar Leval. A young teen, with great power. He himself wants to stop the threats that are overwhelming the worlds, and wants to aim to have the right of the name 'Hero'. Maybe it isn't such a big thing, yet knowing that he is young leads to misjudgement, which obviously isn't the smartest thing. His power is a great one, the power to control matter, any type and form of it, and manipulate it to his liking. A fearsome power that can change the way the of life for any person, and that is why the young teens journey starts. He aims to save the worlds, even with his cruel attitude and personality. Zaldar is a good person, yet showing it is something else.

Youth is something that older people think of as weak, petty, and overall stupid. Too many see children, teens, and young adults as nothing, nothing at all. There power is meaningless at their young age, and without use of it during a young age, it tends to fade away slowly. Through certain events, Zaldar's homeworld was destroyed; completely obliterated. His power then had absolutly no limits, so he chose to do whatever he wished with them, since no one could give him an answer. Living life to the fullest starts when your a child, yet education is something everyone needs, except Zaldar. Child Prodigy means something, since his intelligence level rivals those of the tital super genius.

So it starts now. The forthcoming of a young boy who searches for power, and secrets of the Omniverse, as well as stopping those whom have murdered anyone. Friends would be something he met on the way, and in a short period of time, he would have many. As of now, his first step of his journey starts on a small planet known as Raticus, and that is just the beginning...​
 

Masquerade

Where's battlecry? :(
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...Thanks >.>;

3 Things :O

1. Comments nowz

2. Update every two days, but in part chapters, so it turns out to be in whole chapter form.

3. I request a Co writer >.<

Wait wait wait, there's a point #4 =D

4. If you'd like to be in t3h story, PM me the name of your character, personality, and some kind of role you'd like.
 
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Seirio

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Yo former Prince Sas,pretty good,I am intending to adding a character of my own to this story right now.

edit: My chara bio would have been longer but I gotta head to bed.
 
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Enchanted Rose

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Since you hinted to me in not so many words to read this, I did.

Overall, very good, Breakdown. You have an incredibly mature style of writing, very coherent too, making it a pleasure to read.

I will say a few things though. Firstly spelling errors, admittedly not that much of an issue, but when the rest is so well written, any mistakes are that more glaring obvious. There was also one instance of erroneous language: 'technology enhances everywhere', if you use words incorrectly, you can end up sounding pretentious. Also, I felt that it could have been a bit more concise, as shortening it would have lessened the 'encyclopedic' feel that some parts had. There is a fine line between detail and drivel.

The best thing about it, for me, was the manipulation of sentence structure to create dramatic tension, the opening and beginning paragraphs.

Should turn out to be great.

And obviously you can disregard all my comments, particularly since I am totally ignorant of Zaldar Leval, so I don't mind =D
 

Masquerade

Where's battlecry? :(
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ic
Chapter 1.1
Forthcoming

...And so it began, the journey to save a world, with the help of few companions. Hope would be something needed to keep the heroes going, continuing on, and constantly moving foward. Without it, destiny would crash down on them; leaving death as a final resort. Perhaps these young ones would be saviors of this world, but in any other case, they would need help from other sources. They would need help from various places, and find those more powerful to help. This band of three would be saviors of a world, perhaps a universe, but that was of the future. As of now, they would search and slowly obtain self power. So this is...

"Zaaaldaaar." A girls voice rang as a chair dropped, showing a kid fly backward. The girl walked into a dark room cautiously, one filled of various chemicals, as well as deadly creatures, which were all sealed up. Her red hair lifted right about her eyes, so she could see, and she glared at Zaldar. A small build, yet she was as tough as any other woman or man, and had a quiet personality. A scowl was usually what she kept on her face, yet at very rare moments, she would let out a smile. Rare, yet if you saw the smile, you would know that she was a good person. "You're late."

"Aoreka! I was in the middle of reading a book!" The young boy stood up, his black hair stuck in his eyes, as it always was. His eyes were a light red, and his skin was of average tone. A firm body build was something he also possessed, but only so much could happen for a young fourteen year old. As he wobbled to his legs, he caught a glare at the girl next to him. "I'm late for what exactly?"

"Our trip. The navigators waiting by the ship."

Zaldar's eyes shot open wide as he instantly picked the chair up, and threw off his shirt, throwing on a black muscle shirt, and instantly ran out of the morbid room, walking outside of the house. In a mere instant he looked up, as a red sun gleamed at his eyes. Creatures of all kinds were walking about; amphibians, dragon-humans, lizards, mutants, any kind of hybrid you could or would imagine was on this one world of information. A small planet which was used to obtain knowledge on a certain item, or perhaps something much, much greater. Crime was something much more organized, but still, those with great power did use the chance they had to steal, and when they did, bounty hunters came. Bounty hunters were of the strongest, and smartest combatants, since they knew the weaknesses of those whom commited wrong. Anything could be found in this universe, absolutly anything. It was more of a galaxy of treasure, where treasure hunters came, or those in search of something important.

"You gunna stand there or move?" The red haired girl spoke as she walked foward, her arms crossed.

"So cold." Zaldar spoke as he stared at the girl behind him. Moving his eyes from the girl, he walked foward, holding a map in front of his eyes, peering into it with joy. Map reading was something absolutly impossible for him, so he never tried, yet obviously, he wanted to try and impress his companion. A lover boy? No, yet he always wanted to be. Looking at the map, he walked foward slowly, peering into the map, and continued on a slow path, having absolutly no clue where he was going whatsoever. Keeping his head down, he slammed into a beast like creature, who inturn, flipped his quiet and calm attention to a fierce and brutal personality. "Hey there beasty, can you help me?"

"You weakling!" The beast glared, and rose a fist, ready to slam down on Zaldar, as he stared dully at the beast above him. It wasn't a mere moment until a knife slammed into the beasts arm with such force, that it made him fly back. It obviously wasn't any ordinary knife, due to the fact it was elementally enpowered, so the force blew him back. Zaldar, turning back, saw Aoreka in an instant right next to him, showing her ordinary scowl. Shaking his head, he turned back to the map and kept his eyes down on it. It wasn't a mere moment before he bumped into about six other people and instantly ran. Aoreka on the other hand walked calmly, glaring at those who were angry at Zaldar. They were only young teens, so the fact was that mistakes were always made.

"I think we finally made." The boy stated as he looked up to see a sign that stated Bar. Looking at the girl to his side, he noticed he was a bit wrong. "Dammit, here Aoreka, you read it, I can't make heads or tails of this map, it's impossible." He spoke as he looked side to side at the area they were in. "We have to be close though, I know my directions are somewhat right, I have an instinct on this." Looking to the bar sign, he smirked, and started his way on him, but in less than a second, he was grabbed by Aoreka, and turned to face her.

"Zaldar, are you stupid? You brought us the complete wrong way." Glaring she walked foward, and basically dragged Zaldar along the rugged streets, while Aoreka followed the map with no fail. "You have absolutly no sense of direction outside of a battle, are you really that out of life? Always studying on your strange experiments, or reading meaningless books." Walking on a clear path, Aoreka continued as she read the map, shooting glares at anyone who would approach. She was known throughout the town, since Zaldar was always stuck in his studies. As she continued, she noticed that there was one thing strange, the world of Raticus, that there was almost nothing on the planet other than the town, and that led to unexplored wonder on what could be on that other half.

"Here." Aoreka spoke quietly as she walked up to a man, who seemed to be their navigator. He had blonde hair, with a brown coat, which had a chest pattern of a straight jacket, yet it was in no way a straight jacket. "You're our navigator? We're here, obviously so we can get to Ecimar."

"You're bringing nothing? How brave of you." The man spoke quietly as he stared at the girl. "I am Seth Zeion, your personal navigator. The hope was that you would be prepared, since you know you are going to the depths of a dark world. Demons enhabit there. I hope you're good enough, if not, I'll protect both of you." Seth showed a smirk towards the young girl, and walked towards the teleporting pad, which would lead to their ship. "So, let's go."
 
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Battlecry

Who the hell do you think I am!?
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SQUEEE~!
That was great, Edo~! You make my writing skills look like dirt. xD

[mutter] o.o You're using Seth's character? Awesome. [/mutter]

You also portrayed Aoreka's personality greatly. <3 Updart soon, yeah? Can't wait for the next chapter.
 

Enchanted Rose

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Pfffft, don't know what you were on about when you said you lost your flow, Break.

To me, it was more enjoyable than the prologue. Good characterisation, and you've really tried to bring the world of Raticus alive.

winz. =]
 
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