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Fanfiction ► Two Different Destinies



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Rikimaru

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Something i started to write because i was bored this is one of my first fics i want to complete.. but college may hender that plan.

Chapter 1
The Twins Part


In a land that has been tainted by evil for thousands of years, two twins where born and where prophesied that they would be the ones to rid this world of there evil. The two grew up and trained like normal students would have until the age of sixteen. But this story will not take place at that age no. To understand some of the current events you will need to know what happen eleven years ago. But before that part of the story is told let me tell you some things about the twins. They are almost identical but they are only different by gender. Mana the girl, who is a very bright girl. She is very helpful to people that she doesn't even know well. She has a very kind heart and her will is stronger than any mans that have set out into battle. She is very agile and her skills with a bow or a sword are only rivaled by one person who men think to be one who trained her in those arts. Next is Alex, He like his sister is very talented in the art of combat but he fights with a pair of short swords and use a fighting style know as Ninjutsu. Some think that the Ninjutsu arts are evil and nobles should not learn them but that will be explained why later. His speed is quicker than his sisters. He is the first to lose his cool and get into the fights but his tactical skills keep him ahead of most of his opponents. That seems to be enough separate background for now. Both have sky blue eyes, and a dark blondish hair that is almost brownish looking. Now let’s get into the story that happens eleven years ago.


It was a very calm night, owls hooting softly in the woods. Every light was out in the small village that was down below from the temple but if one was still awake listening in the dark they could hear very soft clicks of metal hitting each other. Some people think it would be the blacksmith but it would not be him at this time of the night. So that had to leave the Two Destined Ones to still be training. Only three people in the village where awake this night, an old man standing back watching two of his pupils sparring against each other. He always told them to fight to death tho they knew he would intervene the moment a deathblow could be executed.

"Mana dodges the blows and counter attack them his speed may be greater but your mind is stronger! USE IT!" Mana seemed to have a special talent that she did not tell her teacher or bother but she could see some movements slower than others. She ducked the swing to her head and side stepped the one to her torso and trusted her sword forward towards her brother. He deflected it with his blades and they stood looking into each others eyes breathing hard, Alex moments where almost up to par with some of the local ninja in the next two regions over. Not many people know of them and none know where they live. Mana raised her sword and held vertical before her face and slice the air fiercely and took a fighting pose. Alex nodded and took his the two had struck and where stopped the very familiar nicked walking stick of their masters.

"‘Tis enough for tonight children come inside and rest for the rest of tonight." Both turned and replaced there weapons in the proper place before coming to sit at their respected spots at a dinner table. They at a bowl of rice and drank some warm tea. Mana hair was still matted to her face she was smiling ear to ear even tho she had to be corrected and did not manage to correctly counterattack her brother.

"Mana..." spoke the old man softly.

"Yes?" She said looking to him her smile was erased and a very stern look was on her face.

"After you finish washing up and prepare for bed.”

"Yes, sir" She clear her bowl from the table and went to the baths and retired to bed shortly after. Alex sat at the table waiting to be dismissed by his master. He would poor him tea when the glass was empty. Alex was about to pour more when a hand was help up for him to stop. Alex set the pot down and looked at his master.

"Alex.”

"Yes?"

"I fill that this night will be but one of our last tonight. So I want you to promise me that if either you or your sister are separated and end up fighting that neither of you strike a death blow to each other." He held up a hand again to silence Alex.

"Your sister has been told this and I am telling you now you must never..." Then a loud scream came from the direction of Mana's bed room the Old man drew a sword from his can and Alex followed him having flipped the table and got his and his sisters weapons. When he entered in behind his master found to find his sister being held captive by three ninja’s. Alex mad a move to strike but was stop by his master.

"Move aside old man we want him." Spoke the one who not trying to restrain Mana who was still giving two a hard time.

"What is it that you want with him? He is only a child."

"Yes but we have a use for him."

"Who has sent you to this village and why do you need them?"

"No one has hired us we came on our own accord and we only want him she is only a bait to lure him into coming with use for you see if he refuses..." The ninja paused and looked over to Mana who had now been forced to her knees and her head bent down exposing her neck.

"Her head will roll on the ground if he does not come with us."

"MONSTERS!" scream Alex to the top of his lungs and he went after the ninja who had his sword drawn as if he was readying to behead Mana. Alex went in to a flurry of attacks the ninja manage to dodge all of them barely.

"His speed is as quick they said it would be." Alex eyes narrowed he looked to the ninja who he was fighting and then to his sister. The Old Man only looked on then spoke softly...

"Please let’s take this out side for I don't want my house in ruins, for I am to Old to fix any damages that may occur from the fighting. Out of respect the ninja did agree to take it out side but Alex never did turn his back on the Ninjas but the old man did and walked out of the house. Alex reached the center of the first court and stopped the old man slightly behind him. The ninja's stop and bonded Mana and two of them stepped up to face the old man and Alex. Alex attacked the same ninja who he attacked before. The ninja did not strike back he just keep dodge leading Alex towards the outside of the temple walls where they had lived with the old man since they where found by him.

"Alex don’t leave this walls you will not be able to fight like you do now!” The old man felt a sharp pain in his shoulder it had been stabbed by his attacker. Alex crossed the entrance and was out of the temple. His speed fell dramatically to that of a five year old.

'What is wrong?' Alex thought to his self. The ninja smiled under his masked face and attacked. Alex could not dodge the attack and was cut across the arm. He fell to the ground screaming in pain. The ninja then walked up to him and knocked him out.

"So it was as he said it was." He picked Alex up and signaled them to leave. Mana had freed her self of her bonds and threw a small dagger that one of the ninja's had dropped while fighting her master. He master was chanting a strange spell. She kept her eyes on the dagger till a blue crystal appeared before it the dagger struck it and forced it to split into. Mana covered her face and was knocked back as the crystal was absorbed into her body. The other half flew into Alex and he was taken away by the ninjas that had attacked. The old man walked over to Mana and picked her up and let out a soft sigh.

"If the crystal would not have broken it would have took care of those ninjas but they where meant to have it on the year they turn sixteen, but will eleven years to early hurt us this bad?" The pain in his arm snapped him out of his thoughts and he took Mana inside and let her rest while he tended to his wounds.



Chapter Two:
Mana Learns Her Destiny


Mana laid in her bed in a deep sleep. It was almost noon and the Old man did not seem to be around the house either. Mana head was still racing with what had happen last night. She dreamt of the crystal splitting and of the moment she passed out. While she was passed out tho, a dream of some one she had never seen before came to her.

"Mana."
"Yes?" She replied softly.

"Do you wish to get your brother back from those who took him?"

"You should know that answer before asking it!" She yelled at the question she thought dumb.

"Yes I should since I am you after all.” Spoke the one who claim to be her.

"Wha?" Mana took a few steps back.

"How can that be? I have a twin but he is he... NOT YOU!" The other gave a small laugh while covering her mouth.

"I am you when you are sixteen. I am going to tell you of your destiny."

"My destiny?"

"Yes."

"Well don't hold out on the details now!"

"Was I really this rude as a kid?" The other placed her hand on her head and shook it as if trying to remember.

"Do I act this stupid at sixteen?" Mana was growing impatience with this person.

"WELL!?"

"The Old man will try to stop you but you must fight him to prove your worth. Then he will tell you more of what you wish to know. The crystal that you now have in you will help you with your skills in combat, and other areas as well." Man stood there with her fist balled up.

"THIS IS A DESTINY!? HOW STUPID!?" Mana was trying to think of a way to get this stupid girl to shut her mouth.

"Can you tell me something a bit more important? Like where my brother is or what my destiny is?"

"He will answer those questions. I came here to tell you to ask him and warn you of the challenge. Oh and try not to blast him for you may kill him.” She said bye to her.

"I will see you again sometime."

"I am so thrilled." mumbled Mana as she saw the woman disappear. She laid there and thought for a few moments.

'Blast him? Blast him with what?' She slowly opened her eyes and looked into the sky. She sat up with a jolt.

"Daylight!?" She sprinted into the main court and found the Old Man talking to the blacksmith. Mana could not hear what they where saying she only caught the words of a new sword for her and something about a spell to place on it. She also heard that she would get it when she is sixteen.

"Good Morning Mr. Blacksmith."

"Good Mooring Master."

Both smiled at her and laughed. The old man saw the blacksmith out after they finished their talk of stuff she wished to know. The Old Man approached her and took a deep breath. She opened her mouth to speak.

"Yes I know where he is." He spoke before she could ask. He mouth closed then open again.

"Yes I knew you would ask and No you are not ready. You still don't have the proper training to go find him and... Well let’s start training."

"How long will it take?" Mana did not want to waste time to find her brother. She did not know how she could do since she was only five at this time. She drew her sword and readies herself. The old man laughed.

"Mana will be practicing something a bit different. You need learn to use the crystal that you have now. Well part of it any way." He drew a runic symbol on the ground and instructed her to try and produce the effect of this seal. When she learned it she would be able to unlock the power of her crystal. She did not understand any of this but tried to the best of her ability. It took her three years to learn how to unlock it. She was now eight years old and could focus her power into her strength and her speed only. He taught her more seal enhancements to unlock her true strength. By the time she was twelve she could dodge all his attacks but never block or counter. At sixteen she manage to get a burst of speed at the start of the battle and her attacks where deflected. He counters one of her attack and she was caught of guard slightly and deflected it and she did not mean to focus any energy into her weapon and it sent him flying across the court yard. She threw down her blade and ran to him.

"MASTER!" She knelt down beside him and put his head in her lap. She checked and found no wounds.

"Where are you injured? Are you injured?"

"Clam down Mana you did well. Your body did what it needed to do to protect you. I believe you should see the blacksmith and get the sword and letter I gave him. I will not be able to teach you any longer child." He gave a smile and took a deep breath.

"Take me inside and tell the smith to come here after you leave his place."

"Yes sir." She took him inside and let him rest. She enters the town and went to the blacksmith.

"Welcome Mana sixteen now is ye?" He stopped his work and went and got an envelope and a sword wrapped in a cloth.

"Yes sir I am sixteen now?" She looked around and notices that he had no apprentice under him.

"Sir, how old is you now should you not be training some one?"

"Aye, I should." He nodded he set down the envelope and sword on a table.

"Here is you things the master of martial arts told me to give you when you where either sixteen or he sent you here." She sat down and took the envelope and opened it.

"I will leave you for now. I will go see the old man." He walked out of the place and told her to lock up when she left.

The letter read the following:




Dear Mana,

I have written down what I could not bare to tell you even tho it was my duty to tell you on your sixteenth birthday. I however did not expect to be here at this time so I wrote this just incase. I must inform you that you and your brother are destined to fight the evil that plagues us. You must however over come some trials before you face him. These trials I do not know of but one I do. Your brother was taken away from us and trained in Ninjutsu. This style of fighting is cursed in some people’s eyes for the most ninja use this fighting style. One clan tho is very blood thirst, that will kill anyone or thing that crosses their paths. You and he will fight but you will have the advantage of knowing how to use the crystal. He will not know how to use the crystal and I don't think he will learn it for he is more of a fighter than a tactic person like you are, however his Ninjutsu skills will be very hard to over come for he is being trained by one of the best ninjas that I know. But you two must over come many trials. I wish you two the best of luck. I only know that I am to tell you to seek out the village he is in. The name I do not know it. But I do know that you need to seek out a name that will come up in your quest. The name you should seek is E gv ll. (Note: for reader the name is Engvall)

PS: This sword is runic sword it is very rare and may be helpful to you.

The last word was hard to read it looked written in a hurry. She took sword and examined it and tied it to her waist and shut the door behind her and closed the paddled lock. She headed to a region where she knew she had heard of ninjas being spotted there.

Chapter Three coming soon
 

Thelonepickle

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I don't really think so. You have plenty of great ideas, but your grammer and spelling skills are terrible. You need to work on them a ton. Too many errors makes your fic almost too hard to read, and it's annoying to have to sort through mistakes. Sometimes you speak in past tense, and then you switch to present, right in the middle of the sentence!

Like I said before, you have really great ideas. I would love this fic, but you really need to work on the things I just talked about. I'll still read this fic, but please don't make excuses as to why it's in bad shape. I've heard almost every excuse. "I was busy", or "Well, this is just a rough draft!" isn't going to cover it.

However, I do look forward to chapter three. :D
 

Thelonepickle

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Jun 23, 2005
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Well, that's great. But I wasn't talking about how much I liked it. I was giving constructive criticism.
 

Rikimaru

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Thelonepickle said:
Well, that's great. But I wasn't talking about how much I liked it. I was giving constructive criticism.

constructive criticism is alway the best IMO it helps ppl know there mistakes... And I don't give excuse for why the fic is like it is. I just don't go threw and reread what i have wrote.. I may know tho.. Well like i said don't expect three so soon for college just started up on me XD
 
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