Riku finally cooks the food and shares it with the kids too. Tyra and Wakka get a hotel room and work on breaking the bed, Sora’s parents are leaving Olympus Coliseum, and Tidus and Selphie and Sora and Kairi are at a Cafe.
The sun is starting to go down.
Kairi: What a nerd!
Selphie: I can hardly believe he's related to me.
Tidus: My dad is the coolest of all.
Sora: Tidus, you’re dad can’t do **** without breaking his back.
Selphie: Your dad can’t fit through doors!
Sora: Don’t get me started on YOUR daddy, Selphie!
They start laughing.
Kairi: Sigh. (kicks Selphie)
Selphie: OW!
Kairi: clears throat)...
Selphie: …Bathroom break!
Kairi and Selphie run in the restroom.
Tidus: ...Why do they have to go at the same time?!
Sora: It’s a girl thing. They go in there, put on make up and giggle about us. (sips tea)
Tidus: Dude, you’re supposed to extend the pinky when you drink tea.
Sora: Like this?
Sora extends his pinky out.
Tidus: That’s right…Dude, it’s time.
Sora: Time for what?
Tidus pulls out an engagement ring from his pocket.
Tidus: For this.
Sora: Whoa! (squints eyes) Where'd you get this, Tidus?!
Tidus: whispers) I stole it out of that store we were in.
Sora: whispers) Tidus! You STOLE this?!
Tidus: Yes.
Sora: How the hell did you do that?! (takes it and looks at it)
Tidus: I unzipped my pants when I saw it and then waited for someone to tell me to check my fly. I picked it up and when the lady told me to zip my pants up; I put it in my underwear and zipped it up safe.
Sora: That was slick man.
Tidus: I know...
Sora: And you let me touch it?!?!? EWWWW.
Sora tosses it back to him.
Sora: When are you gonna ask her?
Tidus: I dunno. What can ya suggest?
Sora: I suggest you ask her in a place that is full of people.
Tidus: Sora, I can’t do that! Everyone will be looking at me!
Sora: Dude…You’re hopeless. It would make her HAPPY to see you DO have some balls after all.
Tidus: Sigh.
Kairi: looks in mirror) -and he said he would think about it.
Selphie: Mm-hmm. (puts on eye shadow) What do you think the guys are doing?
Kairi: Probably checking out the waitress’s ***es.
Selphie: ...Really?
Kairi: Hell no! They better not be!
Selphie: Let’s get out of here.
They go for the door.
Tidus: holds ring up and looks at it)
Kairi sees the ring and pushes Selphie back into the bathroom.
Sora: They’re coming! Put it away!
Tidus: Agh! (puts ring in pocket) ...You think she saw it?
Sora: Kairi pushed her back…
Selphie: What are you doing?!
Kairi: I almost fell. SOMEBODY has to break my fall, right?
Selphie: Give me a warning next time!
They go and sit down by Sora and Tidus again.
Sora: It’s getting late...Ready to go?
Kairi: Yeah, let’s go...You’re paying the bill.
Sora: Why?!
Kairi: Because we love you!
Sora: But-
They run out and leave Sora.
Sora frowns and tosses and few dollars on the table. Then he runs out to join them. The couples say goodnight, split up, and look for hotels to stay in.
The next morning...Everyone in Thebes is crowded at the Coliseum to watch Kovue's (Sora’s dad) match with Hercules.
S-dad: stretches)
Hercules: does pushups)
S-dad: flexes muscles)
Sora: Wooooooooo! Go dad!
Hercules: gets up and flexes muscles)
Sora: Booooooooooooooooooooo!
S-dad: kisses biceps)
Hercules: kisses biceps)
Kairi: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Sora: I think he’s copying him.
S-dad: …
Hercules sticks his tongue out at Kovue.
Hercules: Ha ha.
S-dad: …
Kovue pretends to accidentally drop his pants.
Kairi: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
And all the ladies in the crowd get rowdy!!!!!!!!!!!
S-dad: pulls pants up) Top that, pretty boy.
Hercules turns away and looks in his skirt thingy.
S-dad: What’s wrong, cock tail? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Hercules: …
The rest of the islanders are in the audience, but Tyra and Wakka are hiking for seats.
Tyra: steps over someone) Sorry! Excuse me! I just gotta- (trips over someone) Agh! Damn it, scoot your ***es over!
Caesar: Hey, Lady!
Tyra: ...Hey, Caesar!
Caesar: There's some seats over here.
Tyra: Thanks!
Tyra climbs over some seats and then hikes up to the top where Caesar is sitting alone. Wakka crawls over after Tyra.
Caesar: I never got your name.
Tyra: I’m Tyra and this is Wakka.
Wakka: Hey, what’s happening man?
Caesar: ... Popcorn?
Caesar passes them a bag of popcorn that he stole.
Tyra: I’m allergic.
Myra, Riku, Akira, and Rin are just a few rows above them.
Akira: -And then she said “Get in the corner!”
Myra: Akira, it was a dream-
Akira: Hey look! It’s Aunt Tyra and Uncle Wakka!
Riku: Oh yeah. I recognize that big*** head anywhere.
Myra: pushes him) Her head isn’t THAT big.
Akira: Can I go down there?
Rin: Hehehehehehehehha!
Myra: Okay, be careful.
Akira climbs onto Rin’s back and they fly to Tyra.
Akira: HEYYYY!
Tyra: Hey, munchkin!
Akira: Wanna know a secret? (pulls Tyra's head over by her mouth)
Tyra: What?
Akira: licks finger and puts it in her ear) Wet willy! Hahahahahah!
Tyra: EWW!
Riku: Bighead, look up!
Tyra: looks up rows) Oh, its you...I want a dolly for Christmas, Santa!
Riku: ... (picks at beard) ...How about a lump of coal?
Tyra: Go screw your mother or something.
Riku: …I’m gonna kick her ***.
Riku stands up.
Riku: Hey!
Myra: Let it go, Riku. She didn’t mean it like that. (pulls him down)
Riku sighs, trying not to think of his mother.
Caesar: Have you ever-
He turns around and stares into Akira’s face.
Caesar: Who are you?
Akira: Your worst nightmare...And this is Rin!
Rin: HELLO! ....?!
Caesar simply frowns and then smiles.
Caesar: Want some popcorn?
Akira: Oooh, my mommy loves that stuff! Wanna see my mommy?!
Caesar: Uh, sure.
Akira points up at Myra. Myra sees her and smiles, waving.
Caesar: She’s cute. Is that her husband?
Akira: Kinda. They’re just not together now…
Caesar: Your dad looks mean.
Akira: He gets really mean sometimes...Are you related to her?
Caesar: Naw, I’ve just seen her around.
Akira: She's my auntie...Doesnt she have a huge head?
Caesar: ...Yah.
Rin: Bighead!
Caesar: Wanna be friends?
Akira: Okay, what’s your name?
Caesar: I’m Caesar. (kisses her hand)
Akira: blush) Okay! I’m Akira.
Rin: holds hand out) …?????????
Akira: giggles) Come on, Rin!
She snatches Rin up by his hand and they climb back up the rows. Akira sits in Myra’s lap, waving at Caesar.
Caesar: ...
Finally, the intercom comes on and the announcer starts to talk.
Announcer: Welllllllllllllcome, welcome, welcome! We’re gathered here today to witness the defeat of Kovue- Hercules’s amateur challenger!
S-dad: WHAT!
Sora and Kairi are standing up in their seats, yelling “SIKE!”
Announcer: In the blue corner; Hercules!
Most everyone cheers.
Sora: BOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Kairi: Keep your skirt on, loser!!!
Announcer: In the red corner; Kovuecules!
Most everyone boos.
Akira: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
Rin: WOOOOOOOOOOT!
The ref brings Kovue and Hercules to the center of the ring.
Ref: Now listen…No rules.
S-dad: Hehehe. (pops knuckles)
Ref: blows whistle)
They circle each other. Hercules jabs Kovue in the head.
S-dad: Whoa!
Kovue is already dizzy.
Hercules wastes no time and charges into him. Kovue comes to his senses and charges at Hercules. Hercules trips him and puts him in a headlock. Kovue bites Hercules’s arm and then socks him in the face, then kicks him off. Hercules tries to trip him again when he gets up, but Kovue drop kicks him in his jaw. Then he picks him up and tosses him against the wall of the ring.
Hercules: Oof!
They circle each other again once Hercules gets up.
Hercules: stops and flexes) Hey, give up yet?-
Thinking fast and brutally, Kovue runs over and kicks Hercules in the balls.
Hercules: holds crotch) ...Ow... (falls over and lays on ground)
Kovue runs over and starts beating the arrogance out of Hercules….Then he gauges his eyes out.
The audience is speechless.
Crowd: …
Caesar: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Hercules: ...
Everyone cheers "Kovuecules!"
