dark hero Riku said:
sorry for what happened.
basically, you'll get over it. I don't know how close you were to the guy, but eventually he'll just be a good memory.
This thing is normal.
I was really close to him and what upsets me is the fact that I went to see him four days before he died. I was seeing him in pain because they had to put an oxygen mask over his mouth and he was in pain. I had to hold him down along with one of his friends. Before I left, he said something to me, but I couldn't understand because he didn't have his false teeth on. That's what upsets me the most: his last words to me.
Thelonepickle said:
Holy cow! Give yourself more than two weeks!
You're probably going to be sad for a much longer time than two weeks. I mean, it's kind of a serious thing, wouldn't you say? Death?
If people ask you questions, just answer them in whatever way feels right. They'll be sympathetic and probably try to comfort you, if they're normal human beings. What are they going to do? Berate you because you're grieving? They'll cut you some slack, most likely. Anyone who doesn't is a jerk.
Seriously, though? Give yourself more than two weeks. These things take a lot of time, and everyone mourns differently. If you should see people that seem completely "over it," realize that they probably just express their sadness in a different way, and you're allowed to be sad.
I hope everything works out for you. o.o
Well, I didn't say I was going to give it more than two weeks, did I? I only said it had been nearly two weeks since I started to become depressed and miserable. Everyone has been so understanding and I've just tried to avoid the whole topic, anyway. Every time that we do get around to it, I just break down in tears.
I see your point and thanks, TLP.
Stavros said:
Just don't start cutting yourself. . . or continue. . . .if you do. . .Emo's are bad. . .
I could never bring myself to do that. I've actually tried to do it once when I was being bullied in high school, but I'm not strong enough and willing to do that kind of thing. I'm really weak at those things. I just can't cross that line ...
Ichi Teh Killer said:
AoD, it seems like mourning, not depression. The loss of a loved one takes more that a fortnight to deal with.
To be honest, it's a mix of things. Ever since that night I got told the news, nothing's seemed real to me. I'd expect my grandad to be sat in that room at his house reading the paper or drinking some beverage of some kind. I know it'll take more than a fortnight, at this rate, it'll take more than months.
sorasheart281 said:
You are not Depressed.
I call it Moruning. Or I- Hate- life-at-the-moment-but-its-not-emo-hate.
Really, your not Depressed, its normal for someone to go through with it. I did the same thing, When my Great grandmother passed away. Trust me on this. You will get better. Its not depression.
If you need someone to talk to. Im here. =D Promise.
I've been through depression before, you know? Went through it when I started college and work, so I know the feeling.
And thanks.
li'lwitch8251! said:
death is only a part of life, but just remember that he has fulfilled his time and your life and that he had to go. you're family will probably feel the same when you leave. you have the rest of your life to mourn, and i understand that you are depressed. it'll all be okay in another year or two.
good luck
Yeah, thanks for understanding and I hope that it will.
Eikre said:
Like the above has said, It takes more than just two weeks. It took me more than that to get over grandma's death, and I didn't see her in four or five years! I understand how you feel. My dad's off to Kandahar in August for deployment, and it just struck me what would happen if he did die over there.
Give yourself time. It's not like you've got a time limit on how much time you have to mourn the death. Anyone who said any different can go ahead and die, by being beaten with their own limbs. If it takes you a year, it takes you a year. If it takes a lifetime, then it will take a lifetime. All I can say right now is that you're way too hard on yourself, as if you caused his death. Take your time with things, and take every second you need.
I'm trying not to be way too hard on myself, it's just something that I've not had to go through before in my life. Sure, three other people in my life died before, but two of them was when I was too young to understand.
The last person before my grandad I lost was my great auntie and I cried for weeks because I hadn't seen her. Worst of all, she died from cancer. I don't know how my nana died when I was little, but I do remember that just over six years ago just before Christmas, my grandad died of a heart attack and I was sleeping over in the same house with my cousins, sisters, dad and uncle. I didn't really believe it at first and just kept on believing he was alive (I was 11 years old at the time). But some years later, I just kept breaking down and knowing he was dead.
It's not been easy since that Thursday night. I only broke down a few times. I broke down on that Thursday and then didn't break down until I went back to college (that Thursday I finished for a week and a weekend). I broke down in my history class when I told her that I couldn't complete an essay that we'd been assigned to. I told her that I had been working and spending some time with my family.
As for the funeral, that was the last time I broke down ever since. It was really strange being there, but let me tell you that it was a funeral I'll never forget. Trust me, so many things happened there. Burying him was the hard part. Since I'm a Catholic, I sprinkled some holy water on the coffin when it had been put down to the ground and sprinkled some dust on it, too. The meal after the funeral wasn't too bad. I had a good time. That was last Tuesday, the funeral.
I still think about him and just wish he'd been given longer to live. You know what the funny thing was? When I went to visit him the last time in hospital, we were told from the nurses and doctors that he was getting better. And then my mum, auntie, uncle and grandma got a phone call saying he'd died. Ironic, isn't it? I never blamed anyone, but I knew he should have had sometime left after that. We were saying about how he'd be able to come out of hospital and sit in his chair again. I guess it never happened. He died there and he shouldn't have really. We just all believed he'd get better. He had breathing problems and that's why he was in hospital in the first place. So ... there. That's all about how I feel right now and what happened throughout the last days of his life.
