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[Dogenzaka]

Meh, at my church there's been my posse of friends for a long time. My huge clique. I was such a popular kid. Everyone knew me.

Since an event about a year ago, all my friends have kind of drawn apart. They found out who was on who's side, they found out who was really their friends. They dispersed and went their own ways. I'm kind of left in the middle.

Some never came back, some don't talk to anyone, some became friends with other people and joined them, some are like me.

The new group of "Cool kids" are the BACpack (inside joke). Meh, I tried hanging out with them, but just like any clique, they're exclusive as to who they'll treat like what. Some of my friends started hanging out with them, but they're sometimes jerks. Always causing havoc (think Jackass x200) and they kind of act like they own the place.

I want to have friends again, considering it seems like everyone dispersed and my friends are all in different places. I kinda want my own little "clique" back, so how do I break into the "clique"? People at church are wanting me to start hanging out with them now anyway because they're the only true "clique" left and some even want me to break it up. No matter, I have my reasons, but yeah, how would I go about trying to hang out with a crowd that's a bit exclusive, and doesn't know me so well? Trust me, I share their kind of interests (eavesdropping ftw) but they don't know me that well except for a few of my old friends that talk to them.

After church service they all head out in cars to go to the movies or mall or get something to eat, but since I'm not a part of it I guess I can't go. How do I break into the clique?

Rep to those who can help. Thaynx

 

[DanceWaterDance]

Well, the you can start talking to them a little at time and allow them to get to know you. Eventually, (If they like you, and you said you share the same interests, so it shouldn't be hard) they should start liking you.

Also, if some of your old friends know them, then you can talk to your friends while they're talking to them, and get yourself introduced.

 

[Dogenzaka]

Meh it's still awkward, because my the two old friends that I used to hang out with that are in that "clique" kind of don't talk to me (once again...because they're in that "clique" and it's exclusive lol).

 

[Chaotic_Countess]

Start with your old friends.

Start talking to them again. Once you get on even ground with them you can sorta hang around with them, and as a result the group. Then the group will begin to get to know you.

 

[The Chosen Key]

First do what they do on TV.
Trick your friends into a one-on-one talk but your really having them all in one place.
If that doesn't work, dig deep down inside yourself 4 a solution, I believe in u.
Also u said at church so, have a meeting with a minister or someone that is part of the church that can talk 2 u.
i'm glad 2 have been in service.

 

[DanceWaterDance]

Meh it's still awkward, because my the two old friends that I used to hang out with that are in that "clique" kind of don't talk to me (once again...because they're in that "clique" and it's exclusive lol).

I realize it's awkward (I've had to remake friends with people who I hadn't spoken to in forever, and who were in completely different groups than me). Just work at it slowly. Don't overwhelm them. Speak to them little by little, and little by little, you'll become friends with them again, thus working your way into their group!!! ^_^

 

[Dredger]

Eh, I have never been one for cliques. If you have friends in that clique then be friends with them. If you want to rekindle an old friendship then step out of your comfort zone, do the uncomfortable thing and put forth an honest effort. If you just want to be in the "cool clique" then don't use your old friends to draw you into it, do it of your own accord. Confidence is a big thing, be confident in yourself (cheesy I know). Seriously though, no one wants to chill with a person who is to timid to be themselves. Personally I think you should be less concerned about cliques and more concerned with the people. No matter how hard you try, not everyone will like you, try to disperse yourself to all your old friends "cliques" or just make new friends. Friends come and go, especially when you get older and you or others begin moving away to start your own lives. Cherish the memories and find new and interesting people to occupy your time, if your lucky you will have a few friendships that last through the distance, those ones are special.

Back to the subject, confidence, step out of your comfort zone, find common ground and have fun.

Good luck to ya

 

[Dogenzaka]

Yeah you see the pastor's kid (Matt) is the "leader" almost of this little clique. Him and I have started talking more and more, but he's getting a bit upset at his friends because they're messing with him (they trashed his car before service because they were bored.....lol).

But basically, I have the feeling this is one of those groups that if you don't act like them, you don't get to be with them. Them? They are kind of destructive. They went to the dollar store to buy glass items just so they could break them open with the sledgehammer it's funny but yeah....lol

So I should take things slow and just talk to them little by little? The thing I see is that they don't really talk to others that aren't in their group. Except for Matt, Matt isn't like them, he's friendly, him and I talk a lot now. Perhaps I could get VIP access lol.

Eh, I have never been one for cliques. If you have friends in that clique then be friends with them.

Part of the reason I want to hang out with them more is because people have been asking me to break up the cliques (heck even leaders of the church) because it's getting very exclusive. I tend to be very friendly, and I don't reject people who are having no friends or a crappy day, so I would tend to make the clique more un-exclusive if I were to be a part of it. Of course, that's only one of the reason's I intend on talkin to them =/

Eh, I have never been one for cliques. If you have friends in that clique then be friends with them. If you want to rekindle an old friendship then step out of your comfort zone, do the uncomfortable thing and put forth an honest effort. If you just want to be in the "cool clique" then don't use your old friends to draw you into it, do it of your own accord. Confidence is a big thing, be confident in yourself (cheesy I know). Seriously though, no one wants to chill with a person who is to timid to be themselves. Personally I think you should be less concerned about cliques and more concerned with the people. No matter how hard you try, not everyone will like you, try to disperse yourself to all your old friends "cliques" or just make new friends. Friends come and go, especially when you get older and you or others begin moving away to start your own lives. Cherish the memories and find new and interesting people to occupy your time, if your lucky you will have a few friendships that last through the distance, those ones are special.

Thanks, I'm guessing my main problem is confidence. Why? Because of the image they give off about their exclusivity. I've tried talking but either they don't answer back or they say "yeah haha" and then continue talking about whatever they were. You can't ask to "hang out with them" because no one likes someone who invites themself, and it sounds rude. And they don't invite new people to hang out with them xD I need a way to be able to break the ice when talking to them, and make it not so uncomfortable when we communicate.

 

[Color Me Evil]

Don't break into a clique; break down the clique. Tomorrow is Mix It Up Day where you sit with people you wouldn't normally sit with at lunch. Go sit with kids, and show that you really want to be friends.

If you want to break the ice, start out cool, calm, and collected. Try not to act finicky, panicky, or anything of that sort. They'll think you're unstable and you're just in it to be popular and cool. Why do you need to be popular, anyway? It might be an "it" thing for girls, but you're a boy. I don't see why you need to. If they're in a clique, it shows that they need to travel in packs because they don't have enough self-confidence or self-esteem to travel by themselves. Rarely will you ever see them by themselves. But don't give up; be persistant. If you don't give up and go running off after they turn you down, keep trying to hang out with them. They'll see that you really want to be friends with you, and might give you a chance. Just keep trying.

If they don't want you after you keep trying, go after some other kids. Try to be friends with people you don't really know. Get to know them and let them get to know you. Who knows, you might be better off without those jerkoffs who only care about who they're friends with. Exclusive groups of friends are one of the most stupid things in school. If this is in middle school, it'll get better in high school. If you're in high school, then hell. Kids have got problems there. But just make attempts to break down the cliques. Talk to someone about it. See if they feel the same way. Bet you someone else doesn't like it either.

Hope that helps. Best of luck to you.

 

[Dogenzaka]

Don't break into a clique; break down the clique.

That's exactly what I plan on doing ;D thanks for your help CME. It defintely helps.

Yeah I'm in high school, and I hate cliques. That's why I'm kind of trying to break the ice between them and people. I need friends, considering mine kinda dispersed, and they seem fun, but I also don't like that they're so "exclusive". I helped break down my old clique because they were so rude to new people. I was always nice to new guys, so I plan on doing that if I become friends with them anyway.

 

[AngelofAdvent]

Why exactly did your friends disperse? Was there something that happend?

 

[CK the Fat]

Buying glass items just to smash them with a sledgehammer? Trashing kids' cars? If you feel you must join--be careful, don't lose your own voice of reason. Step out if you ever feel unsure whether you should be in it or not.