Killing Time
-1-
From the beginning Jasper Keaton knew it was going to be a rough day. The midmorning sun beamed through his tinted, cracked old window in his room and went down on his face abruptly. As he slowly lifted his eyes open into the day, the sounds of automobiles, loud obnoxious people, and busy employers working away at their stocks flooded his eardrums. How could he have slept through that? Maybe his body was used to the fact that he needed to get used to it- there was no going back to Detroit. Sure, not much noise changed compared to Detroit, but here in the Windy City those sounds were driven to the maximum. And they never shut up.
He felt his arm shoot up into the air and slam down onto his face in a fit of slight rage. Jasper rubbed the crust from his eyes and launched himself up off of his back, sitting on his bed, his legs firmly on the floor. He rose and opened the door to a bleak, run-down hallway filled with Tupperware containers that had old photos and memories stuffed into them. His Grandparents found these containers “very sentimental and shouldn’t be touched under any circumstances.” For such a sentimental couple, Jasper felt that his Grandparents liked to slack off with the whole sentimental thing, or they just didn’t understand the definition of the word. He knew that as soon as he finished his shower, got dressed in his clothes that he’d gathered from stores in downtown Chicago; he’d go downstairs to his Grandfather reading the paper. Grandpa didn’t seem to care about anything other than the news and his Grandmother would be updating her Facebook page and playing Spider Solitaire online.
He was always right.
He’d walk down the creaky, duct taped floorboards that were pathetic excuses for stairs, and through the dining room table to the kitchen built in right next to it, pop in some bagels, eat them, gather his stuff and walk out the door.
His grandparents never said, “Good morning, I love you, or Goodbye.” They’d just look at him and smile, as if that was their way of summarizing everything that his old normal family did in the morning.
Sometimes, he thought he was being too hard on his Grandparents for thinking so critically about them, but in his opinion, he was right. They didn’t mean to, but they were neglectful of Jasper. Grandma was always busy with her own flower business she ran around the neighborhood and Grandpa was either reading his paper or off to work in the Casio Corporation factory downtown. As an international supplier of all things tech and gadget-based, Jasper didn’t mind the occasional gift from him such as a keyboard or digital camera.
But it didn’t change anything. Jasper had given the cold shoulder to them in his mind, in his own way, and he knew that it wasn’t going to change anytime soon.
It was summertime in Chicago, a hot one, despite the lake. Jasper, as if oblivious to the weather, dressed in dark boot cut jeans, an old T-Shirt from Detroit and a zip up sweatshirt, though it was always un-zipped in an attempt to keep cool during his time outside.
As he slipped on the sweatshirt, he told his grandparents: “Going off to Beans and Barley. See you later.”
They, as usual, looked up from Spider Solitaire and their newspapers and gestured a waving motion telling him goodbye.
“Love you guys,” he said, trying to be sincere, as if it were a test to see if they’d say anything.
Grandpa’s posture didn’t change; his eyes were still hidden behind the Chicago Tribune as he said almost depressingly, “Love you too.”
As for his Grandma, she looked to the side, grinned at Jasper and said, “I love you too, sweetie.” Immediately after she glanced back at her game she was playing previously.
Jasper’s eyes squinted as he managed to sneak a smile into his feelings of doubt and remorse. At least he knew that Beans and Barley would make him feel better, somehow.
***
Beans and Barely had originated up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and had traveled down into Chicago for a second store opening. They had amazing organic food as well as a grocery store built into it, and though the mass of the population had turned its nose up to the price of organic food, the restaurant had proven that it was worth paying for. The food was delicious, and whenever Jasper had the chance, he went there. But it wasn’t just the good food; it was the salesperson at the front desk to the Deli that kept him there.
The man’s name was Asher Conrad. Ever since Jasper had gone there, Asher had always seemed to like Jasper. From the beginning, something made Asher act unbelievably nicer toward him than the other customers. The friendship had really gotten started when Jasper came to eat with a Gorillaz shirt on and the two exchanged opinions of music and got going from there.
Ever since, Asher was the only one who was his real friend in Chicago. School was out which was his main flow of ways to meet people and the streets are so crowded it was hard to make conversation to a stranger and find a friend. So for now, he’d have to make do with Asher, despite the age difference of 15 to 32.
On that day, Asher seemed more somber than usual. He had his usual skinny jeans and button up shirt on, but his typical clean-cut hair was shaggy and greasy, and he was wearing dark sunglasses. Perhaps, Jasper thought, he could cheer him up, whatever might’ve been going on.
“Asher!” Jasper said, eager to see him. “What’s up, man?”
Asher was busy behind the deli counter, but when he heard Jasper’s voice his face lit up a bit, though still seeming grim and gritty. He looked up and mustered up a grin. “Not much, Jasper what ‘bout you?”
He walked up to the front of the Deli counter, still smiling. “Same old, same old... walking around the city seeing what it’s all like.
“And what’s it like?”
Jasper paused and reflected upon it, pantomiming Rodin’s “Thinker”. The city had been alright, but it wasn’t too impressive. It hadn’t lived up to his expectations. “Ah, it could be better. All the tall buildings make me feel a bit small in the universe, but you can’t let thoughts like that get you down, can’ya?”
“Nah, I suppose not, Jasper.” He seemed reluctant to say that sentence, immediately he knew something was wrong.
“You...” He hesitated. “You okay, Asher? You seem... off.” Jasper croaked a bit. He didn’t want to make a wrong impression, this was an older friend, and you never could tell how they would react or behave.
Upon hearing it, Asher looked down at the counter and took a knife from the cupboard below him as well as some vegetables and began to cut, firmly and fluently, seeming like he was taking out his anger or sorrow. Or maybe it was just his job, Jasper wouldn’t know. “I’m doing fine,” Asher said even more reluctant than Jasper had, “I was just thinking about life and what I’m doing with it, ya’know?”
Jasper chuckled. “Ha, that’s an odd thought. Where’d that come from?”
Asher looked back up. “You’ll get it when you’re older.” He then smiled.
Jasper was frightened. Asher seemed extremely off, and not like a kind of “just feeling blue” off, he seemed off-off. He was extremely and noticeably feeling bad. There was something he wasn’t telling Jasper, but what was it?
Upon thinking, Jasper just decided to order. “Well, whatever I’m supposed to understand, I’ll make up for by buying your crappy food.” He grinned a sarcastic grin, and Asher got the joke and laughed. “I’ll have the Cheese and Chicken Burrito, heavy on the veggies.”
Today hadn’t gone as planned and not even Asher helped.
What was going on with him? Damn me and my teenage need to know everything... Jasper thought.
Yes, from the beginning, Jasper knew it was going to be a rough day.
-2-
Jasper, since he had moved here, had been roaming the city just to see what it’s like. He did this a lot in Detroit, only with friends, exploiting the towns and neighborhoods like an interrogator would exploit a person, finding its strengths and weaknesses which Jasper found himself doing whenever a new situation arose. This city was harder to navigate considering its size and the sheer amount of people always walking around, talking up a storm, trying to speak over the loud noises of the city.
He had found a beach, surprisingly empty and abandoned, near Lake Michigan, where the sand was white and pale like a suffocating child right after its death. It was a calm place Jasper went every night since he’d found it, and on each night he’d watch the buildings swallow up the final shards of the daylight until darkness engulfed the city. It always brought out memories that Jasper felt would be better off forgotten.
Especially the one of that night, the night that all sense left his life. It was the same one that drew his heart cold and hard, as if it hadn’t been ripped out already. But on that night, with his lonely state and Asher’s odd sense of depression, he himself had let the thought in, but only a seep of it.
I can see him now. He’s holding the gun- what is Dad doing?! He’s crazy; he has to do something… I should take action. I have to take action. They’ll die if I don’t, but what do I do?
Oh God, what is he-? Oh, no. No, no, no…
Jasper then shut the memory out, pushed it back down into his head like how drug addicts pushed down pills- quickly, abruptly and no hesitation. He couldn’t go back to that night no matter what he did, he simply couldn’t take it.
He checked his wrist watch. The bright red LED’s shown 8:09, it was 21 minutes to curfew. He’d always wondered whether or not he could test his Grandparents to see if they’d actually do anything if he missed the curfew, but if they had a bad side, he wouldn’t want to get on it.
The thought excited Jasper of rebellion, but he wasn’t insane or punk enough to do such a thing. He knew he himself was a bit mad but not to the point of purposely rattling his guardians’ chains, so he started going home.
***
Asher Conrad was going mad. He wasn’t exactly there yet- but he was damn well close to it. The disease was taking its hold- he couldn’t stall any longer. He needed to find another. He needed someone strong who could carry the Watch and be strong enough to hold onto it and face its destiny… someone with nothing to lose, one who wouldn’t mind going away from this world.
It was a difficult choice.
Sooner or later the Memories would come, take the Watch and then… all would be lost. It sounded odd in his head.
All will be lost.
He opened his eyes from his meditation inside his mind, sitting on the couch in the living room of his upper floor apartment downtown. He had thought about this incident for the past three hours, rolling it over in his head, baking it, concentrating on it, pounding the theories and speculations into his skull. He had gone through many people, meaning everyone he’d met at the restaurant, as auditions. It was unfair of him, really. Passing down a burden to in reality save his own skin- but it just wasn’t his own, in a way, it was others, too.
All will be lost.
Asher sunk down into the couch, trying to calm his nerves. The quick anxiety and strains in his lower abdomen felt stronger than ever.
All will be lost.
Oh, for the love of God, stop saying that, Asher thought. It wasn’t making him any less stressed. It added gravity to the situation, but it was certainly not helping. How much time would he have left before hell on earth breaks loose?
He dug into his pocket and felt the cold metal of the Watch against his fingertips. He felt around the engraving of the lightning bolt on the front side of it. This Watch felt heavier than usual. Perhaps it was just what he was going through. Perhaps it was the Virus. Perhaps it was the Memories playing with his head like a cat and a ball of yarn. As it dangled it was whipped around like a ragdoll and slowly untangled into nothing. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...
Asher rose from the sofa, his back cracking on the way up. He groaned. He even heard himself grunt rather loudly as he got up. Then, simultaneously, he heard a swift noise like wind in the nighttime. It startled Asher, as his eyes widened.
All will be lost.
He turned around; looking for the sound, but all he saw was the walls of his apartment. Maybe he was just hearing things- the Virus had a way of doing that. But he had gotten used to it- was it the nerves?
Asher, startled, paced over to his bedroom, confused and a bit lost. He closed the door behind him and locked it promptly. He knew he had nothing to worry about as the tension tied around his lungs- but he couldn’t shake this feeling. His eyes felt oddly warm... in fact his face did.
He placed his hand against his face. He was- crying. Why was he crying? What was that noise before? Jesus, what the hell was going on?
All will be lost.
What the hell was happening? Asher unlocked his door and ran over to the bathroom and patted himself down with water from the sink and splashed it against himself. Get a grip, he wanted to tell himself, but the words couldn’t speak, the thoughts couldn’t produce. This wasn’t good.
Suddenly, he felt something heavy and sharp against his chest.
“What the-” Asher blurted as another force acted on his back. He coughed and spat up blood from these... things, whatever they were. He looked around to find the source. There was nothing there.
Of course there’s nothing there, there’s never anything there, you moron... haven’t you seen a horror movie in your life?!
Unlike most horror movies, though, Asher had some sense... just not enough to do something. How was he supposed to protect himself from something that wasn’t there? Wait a minute...
Shit.
The Memories. They’d found him and they were ready to kill, ready to strike and take the Watch. Thirteen years of hiding and finally ratted out- now things are about to go to hell. He had to think, and fast. Who would be able to give up so much in so little time? Who would possibly find a way to do what he didn’t?
Fast thinking did him no good.
The Memories uppercut his jaw and Asher fell flat on the floor, the blood dripping from his mouth, him tasting the bittersweet fluid. His apartment felt more black and white than usual as the frost settled into his veins. This was death. This was the end. Now it was crunch time.
Asher reached into his pocket, groaned and strained his muscles to get the Watch, and thought for a moment.
Jasper Keaton...please forgive me.
Suddenly, the Watch was gone from his hand, and Asher smiled in success and laughed at the Memories.
That’s when everything went black.
All would be lost.
-1-
From the beginning Jasper Keaton knew it was going to be a rough day. The midmorning sun beamed through his tinted, cracked old window in his room and went down on his face abruptly. As he slowly lifted his eyes open into the day, the sounds of automobiles, loud obnoxious people, and busy employers working away at their stocks flooded his eardrums. How could he have slept through that? Maybe his body was used to the fact that he needed to get used to it- there was no going back to Detroit. Sure, not much noise changed compared to Detroit, but here in the Windy City those sounds were driven to the maximum. And they never shut up.
He felt his arm shoot up into the air and slam down onto his face in a fit of slight rage. Jasper rubbed the crust from his eyes and launched himself up off of his back, sitting on his bed, his legs firmly on the floor. He rose and opened the door to a bleak, run-down hallway filled with Tupperware containers that had old photos and memories stuffed into them. His Grandparents found these containers “very sentimental and shouldn’t be touched under any circumstances.” For such a sentimental couple, Jasper felt that his Grandparents liked to slack off with the whole sentimental thing, or they just didn’t understand the definition of the word. He knew that as soon as he finished his shower, got dressed in his clothes that he’d gathered from stores in downtown Chicago; he’d go downstairs to his Grandfather reading the paper. Grandpa didn’t seem to care about anything other than the news and his Grandmother would be updating her Facebook page and playing Spider Solitaire online.
He was always right.
He’d walk down the creaky, duct taped floorboards that were pathetic excuses for stairs, and through the dining room table to the kitchen built in right next to it, pop in some bagels, eat them, gather his stuff and walk out the door.
His grandparents never said, “Good morning, I love you, or Goodbye.” They’d just look at him and smile, as if that was their way of summarizing everything that his old normal family did in the morning.
Sometimes, he thought he was being too hard on his Grandparents for thinking so critically about them, but in his opinion, he was right. They didn’t mean to, but they were neglectful of Jasper. Grandma was always busy with her own flower business she ran around the neighborhood and Grandpa was either reading his paper or off to work in the Casio Corporation factory downtown. As an international supplier of all things tech and gadget-based, Jasper didn’t mind the occasional gift from him such as a keyboard or digital camera.
But it didn’t change anything. Jasper had given the cold shoulder to them in his mind, in his own way, and he knew that it wasn’t going to change anytime soon.
It was summertime in Chicago, a hot one, despite the lake. Jasper, as if oblivious to the weather, dressed in dark boot cut jeans, an old T-Shirt from Detroit and a zip up sweatshirt, though it was always un-zipped in an attempt to keep cool during his time outside.
As he slipped on the sweatshirt, he told his grandparents: “Going off to Beans and Barley. See you later.”
They, as usual, looked up from Spider Solitaire and their newspapers and gestured a waving motion telling him goodbye.
“Love you guys,” he said, trying to be sincere, as if it were a test to see if they’d say anything.
Grandpa’s posture didn’t change; his eyes were still hidden behind the Chicago Tribune as he said almost depressingly, “Love you too.”
As for his Grandma, she looked to the side, grinned at Jasper and said, “I love you too, sweetie.” Immediately after she glanced back at her game she was playing previously.
Jasper’s eyes squinted as he managed to sneak a smile into his feelings of doubt and remorse. At least he knew that Beans and Barley would make him feel better, somehow.
***
Beans and Barely had originated up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and had traveled down into Chicago for a second store opening. They had amazing organic food as well as a grocery store built into it, and though the mass of the population had turned its nose up to the price of organic food, the restaurant had proven that it was worth paying for. The food was delicious, and whenever Jasper had the chance, he went there. But it wasn’t just the good food; it was the salesperson at the front desk to the Deli that kept him there.
The man’s name was Asher Conrad. Ever since Jasper had gone there, Asher had always seemed to like Jasper. From the beginning, something made Asher act unbelievably nicer toward him than the other customers. The friendship had really gotten started when Jasper came to eat with a Gorillaz shirt on and the two exchanged opinions of music and got going from there.
Ever since, Asher was the only one who was his real friend in Chicago. School was out which was his main flow of ways to meet people and the streets are so crowded it was hard to make conversation to a stranger and find a friend. So for now, he’d have to make do with Asher, despite the age difference of 15 to 32.
On that day, Asher seemed more somber than usual. He had his usual skinny jeans and button up shirt on, but his typical clean-cut hair was shaggy and greasy, and he was wearing dark sunglasses. Perhaps, Jasper thought, he could cheer him up, whatever might’ve been going on.
“Asher!” Jasper said, eager to see him. “What’s up, man?”
Asher was busy behind the deli counter, but when he heard Jasper’s voice his face lit up a bit, though still seeming grim and gritty. He looked up and mustered up a grin. “Not much, Jasper what ‘bout you?”
He walked up to the front of the Deli counter, still smiling. “Same old, same old... walking around the city seeing what it’s all like.
“And what’s it like?”
Jasper paused and reflected upon it, pantomiming Rodin’s “Thinker”. The city had been alright, but it wasn’t too impressive. It hadn’t lived up to his expectations. “Ah, it could be better. All the tall buildings make me feel a bit small in the universe, but you can’t let thoughts like that get you down, can’ya?”
“Nah, I suppose not, Jasper.” He seemed reluctant to say that sentence, immediately he knew something was wrong.
“You...” He hesitated. “You okay, Asher? You seem... off.” Jasper croaked a bit. He didn’t want to make a wrong impression, this was an older friend, and you never could tell how they would react or behave.
Upon hearing it, Asher looked down at the counter and took a knife from the cupboard below him as well as some vegetables and began to cut, firmly and fluently, seeming like he was taking out his anger or sorrow. Or maybe it was just his job, Jasper wouldn’t know. “I’m doing fine,” Asher said even more reluctant than Jasper had, “I was just thinking about life and what I’m doing with it, ya’know?”
Jasper chuckled. “Ha, that’s an odd thought. Where’d that come from?”
Asher looked back up. “You’ll get it when you’re older.” He then smiled.
Jasper was frightened. Asher seemed extremely off, and not like a kind of “just feeling blue” off, he seemed off-off. He was extremely and noticeably feeling bad. There was something he wasn’t telling Jasper, but what was it?
Upon thinking, Jasper just decided to order. “Well, whatever I’m supposed to understand, I’ll make up for by buying your crappy food.” He grinned a sarcastic grin, and Asher got the joke and laughed. “I’ll have the Cheese and Chicken Burrito, heavy on the veggies.”
Today hadn’t gone as planned and not even Asher helped.
What was going on with him? Damn me and my teenage need to know everything... Jasper thought.
Yes, from the beginning, Jasper knew it was going to be a rough day.
-2-
Jasper, since he had moved here, had been roaming the city just to see what it’s like. He did this a lot in Detroit, only with friends, exploiting the towns and neighborhoods like an interrogator would exploit a person, finding its strengths and weaknesses which Jasper found himself doing whenever a new situation arose. This city was harder to navigate considering its size and the sheer amount of people always walking around, talking up a storm, trying to speak over the loud noises of the city.
He had found a beach, surprisingly empty and abandoned, near Lake Michigan, where the sand was white and pale like a suffocating child right after its death. It was a calm place Jasper went every night since he’d found it, and on each night he’d watch the buildings swallow up the final shards of the daylight until darkness engulfed the city. It always brought out memories that Jasper felt would be better off forgotten.
Especially the one of that night, the night that all sense left his life. It was the same one that drew his heart cold and hard, as if it hadn’t been ripped out already. But on that night, with his lonely state and Asher’s odd sense of depression, he himself had let the thought in, but only a seep of it.
I can see him now. He’s holding the gun- what is Dad doing?! He’s crazy; he has to do something… I should take action. I have to take action. They’ll die if I don’t, but what do I do?
Oh God, what is he-? Oh, no. No, no, no…
Jasper then shut the memory out, pushed it back down into his head like how drug addicts pushed down pills- quickly, abruptly and no hesitation. He couldn’t go back to that night no matter what he did, he simply couldn’t take it.
He checked his wrist watch. The bright red LED’s shown 8:09, it was 21 minutes to curfew. He’d always wondered whether or not he could test his Grandparents to see if they’d actually do anything if he missed the curfew, but if they had a bad side, he wouldn’t want to get on it.
The thought excited Jasper of rebellion, but he wasn’t insane or punk enough to do such a thing. He knew he himself was a bit mad but not to the point of purposely rattling his guardians’ chains, so he started going home.
***
Asher Conrad was going mad. He wasn’t exactly there yet- but he was damn well close to it. The disease was taking its hold- he couldn’t stall any longer. He needed to find another. He needed someone strong who could carry the Watch and be strong enough to hold onto it and face its destiny… someone with nothing to lose, one who wouldn’t mind going away from this world.
It was a difficult choice.
Sooner or later the Memories would come, take the Watch and then… all would be lost. It sounded odd in his head.
All will be lost.
He opened his eyes from his meditation inside his mind, sitting on the couch in the living room of his upper floor apartment downtown. He had thought about this incident for the past three hours, rolling it over in his head, baking it, concentrating on it, pounding the theories and speculations into his skull. He had gone through many people, meaning everyone he’d met at the restaurant, as auditions. It was unfair of him, really. Passing down a burden to in reality save his own skin- but it just wasn’t his own, in a way, it was others, too.
All will be lost.
Asher sunk down into the couch, trying to calm his nerves. The quick anxiety and strains in his lower abdomen felt stronger than ever.
All will be lost.
Oh, for the love of God, stop saying that, Asher thought. It wasn’t making him any less stressed. It added gravity to the situation, but it was certainly not helping. How much time would he have left before hell on earth breaks loose?
He dug into his pocket and felt the cold metal of the Watch against his fingertips. He felt around the engraving of the lightning bolt on the front side of it. This Watch felt heavier than usual. Perhaps it was just what he was going through. Perhaps it was the Virus. Perhaps it was the Memories playing with his head like a cat and a ball of yarn. As it dangled it was whipped around like a ragdoll and slowly untangled into nothing. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...
Asher rose from the sofa, his back cracking on the way up. He groaned. He even heard himself grunt rather loudly as he got up. Then, simultaneously, he heard a swift noise like wind in the nighttime. It startled Asher, as his eyes widened.
All will be lost.
He turned around; looking for the sound, but all he saw was the walls of his apartment. Maybe he was just hearing things- the Virus had a way of doing that. But he had gotten used to it- was it the nerves?
Asher, startled, paced over to his bedroom, confused and a bit lost. He closed the door behind him and locked it promptly. He knew he had nothing to worry about as the tension tied around his lungs- but he couldn’t shake this feeling. His eyes felt oddly warm... in fact his face did.
He placed his hand against his face. He was- crying. Why was he crying? What was that noise before? Jesus, what the hell was going on?
All will be lost.
What the hell was happening? Asher unlocked his door and ran over to the bathroom and patted himself down with water from the sink and splashed it against himself. Get a grip, he wanted to tell himself, but the words couldn’t speak, the thoughts couldn’t produce. This wasn’t good.
Suddenly, he felt something heavy and sharp against his chest.
“What the-” Asher blurted as another force acted on his back. He coughed and spat up blood from these... things, whatever they were. He looked around to find the source. There was nothing there.
Of course there’s nothing there, there’s never anything there, you moron... haven’t you seen a horror movie in your life?!
Unlike most horror movies, though, Asher had some sense... just not enough to do something. How was he supposed to protect himself from something that wasn’t there? Wait a minute...
Shit.
The Memories. They’d found him and they were ready to kill, ready to strike and take the Watch. Thirteen years of hiding and finally ratted out- now things are about to go to hell. He had to think, and fast. Who would be able to give up so much in so little time? Who would possibly find a way to do what he didn’t?
Fast thinking did him no good.
The Memories uppercut his jaw and Asher fell flat on the floor, the blood dripping from his mouth, him tasting the bittersweet fluid. His apartment felt more black and white than usual as the frost settled into his veins. This was death. This was the end. Now it was crunch time.
Asher reached into his pocket, groaned and strained his muscles to get the Watch, and thought for a moment.
Jasper Keaton...please forgive me.
Suddenly, the Watch was gone from his hand, and Asher smiled in success and laughed at the Memories.
That’s when everything went black.
All would be lost.