Help/Support ► No, I don't want a drink...

[Endgame]

Let's not go into detail. Suffice to say I was a heavy binge drinker for a long time, decided to make some changes, and havn't touched alcohol in the last four months, except three light beers to celebrate my birthday.

Now, problem is, I don't like people offering me drinks, because I fear it'll cause me to slip back into old habits, as it's done before.

Surprisingly, it's not my friends who keep offering me them though. Once I told them I don't drink any more, they didn't push the issue, and didn't offer me any afterwards. Greedy bastards.

No, it's my family that keeps offering them. My mother and father split up recently, and she's ended up leaning pretty heavily on the wine. Add my sister, back home for the holidays from uni, and they go through a bottle on a daily basis, sometimes more. Every time I go around to see the family, I'll be offered drinks on an hourly basis. I've told them I don't drink often anymore, and that I'd appreciate them not offering them to me, but it hasn't worked. As it stands, I'm either going to blow a fuse and start an arguement, or just stop going around, which is gonna leave my family pretty upset that they don't see me, as they say they don't see enough of me as is.

Anyone got any tips, or ideas to help me find a way to get the message across?

 

[Forever Atlas]

They should be considerate of your wishes and stop. You don't offer drugs to a recovering drug addict, it's the same way with alcohol, it's real easy to slip back into the way you were before and if you really don't want to, it's wrong of them to keep pushing it.

Try having a serious sit down talk and tell them the reasons why you say it. Be as open and brutally honest as possible, stating your motives and reasoning behind it. Make sure they understand your terms, and even try help them stop the destructive behavior. But if that fails, you're 21. I know it's not that easy to do, but if you think the situation is bad enough, and you are really adamant about not drinking again, I would find some way to leave or be around a lot less.

 

[UsagiOkami]

I agree with Forever Atlas in regards to you sitting down and talking to your family about it. They might just not understand why it is so important to you, sometimes explaining things like that can make all the difference.

However I don't agree with the whole leaving part. I think that honestly that would make things worse. As you are obviously aware, families can be broken apart, they are not perfect and the wrong thing at the wrong time can be destructive. At this time your mother and sister are probably just stressed by the whole thing, even if the divorce was mutually decided upon, the stress that it would cause would leave the members of the family stressed out, possibly over emotional, and even a bit thick headed. Again you probably already know this bit. The thing is is that your mom and sister are probably just drinking to ease some of those problems, maybe they aren't, but that is what it sounds like to me, it sounds like they are trying to escape their problems. If you left it would probably make those problems worse. I thin that the best thing you can do is sit down with them and explain why you want to not drink, I think that they will probably come around. I also would suggest trying hang out with them more not less, it might help with some of the problems that are most likely circulating around your house, and if your mom and sister are having less difficulties with those problems they might start drinking less. I doubt you want them to continue it since you personally know what it can end with, maybe also if you explain why you stopped drinking it might help them to stop going through wine so fast.

 

[krexia]

I'm with Atlas here: discuss the issue with them in more depth. Sure, you've told them you don't want to drink, but it sounds like they don't realise how big an issue this is for you, and how little you appreciate their repeated offers. Before you blow a fuse and end up visiting less, I'd suggest telling them that offers of alcohol make you very uncomfortable, and that if you're going to be made uncomfortable every time you see them, you're just going to end up avoiding them.