Help/Support ► suicidal friends

[darkshadow666]

my friends are about as emo as they come. and it pisses me off sometimes. I have this one friend that wasn't exactly emo- but now he definitely is and he wants to kill himself.

a little about him-yes I know.
he has a girlfriend. she uses him. but hes put up with it for 3 years. now hes fed up with her and wants to leave. he told her it was over. and they eventually f***ed each other by the pool. the first time he called me he said that there was no point to life and that no one would care.
I TRIED TO TELL HIM I CARED AND SO DID MY FRIEND. AND THAT IF HE DIES EVERYONE WOULD BE HURT. he's the kinda guy that isnt joking when he says stuff like this either (and before anyone can make any comments about how I'm 14...he's 17.) he called me and stayed on the phone with me for 3 hours because i wouldnt let him go. I was terrified that he was gonna do it. I CRIED to him and BEGGED him not to.
that was last week.
now he told his girlfriend that he wants to kill himself. and she didnt care and flirted with some other guy. now he's dodging traffic on a busy street as we speak. i know he wont die from getting hit by a car...but that just means that HES REALLY SERIOUS. I LIVE BY THIS STREET AND IM WATCHING HIM RIGHT NOW.
hes kept me sane for the whole 4 years I've known him. if he kills himself I'll need alot of therapy and i dont want to have to tell a psychiatrist about some of the things that go through my head.

Now-how serious am I?
He gave me the password to his sacred computer.
He gave me some CDs of his that he thought I'd like.
He's told me everything he wanted me to tell his girlfriend when he was gone.
He's giving me pieces of advice that are like.......not things that people should say.
He refuses to talk to me about how he's gonna do it because i asked him and he scared me (which made me cry)

help please...
i dont want him to die...
i dont want to be screwed up for the rest of my life...

 

[Deleted member 36435]

Um, first you gotta pull him off the street. Tie him to a chair. Then tell him all that stuff. Get him a nice present. Really all I can think of.

... and they eventually f***ed each other by the pool

Literally or figuritively?
As in fought or you know? Just curious don't answer if you don't want.

 

[sora741]

wow........boost his self-esteem as much as possible have him stay the night over your house and watch him....if worst comes to worse tell someone like a adult(OMG I JUST SAID THAT!!!) make sure hes ok

 

[darkshadow666]

Literally or figuritively?
As in fought or you know? Just curious don't answer if you don't want.

yes they did. they did and then he told me about it. all the details.

....if worst comes to worse tell someone like a adult(OMG I JUST SAID THAT!!!) make sure hes ok

i did tell an adult. i told my guidance coordinator (a person that helps you with problems) and he thought i was making it up. he looks cheerful. but he's not.
thats why i came on here to ask people about it.

 

[Thelonepickle]

Okay, the first thing I saw wrong with this thread was how much you keep saying "I." "I don't want to be screwed up for life."

How about you don't want your friend to be DEAD?

Anyway, this is a tricky situation. If he's serious, you need to talk to him. Ask him why. Ask him why he'd do this. And try to talk to him about why life is worth living. Talk to his parents. Talk to YOUR parents, and if you don't trust his, then maybe you shouldn't talk to them, but the important thing is to figure out why he wants to kill himself.

His girlfriend is weird, and obviously abusive in some way. You need to be there for him, and you need to try to get him to understand that you want him around.

Best of luck, but there's not much more I can think of that could help you, unless you can provide a little more information. This breaks my heart.

 

[darkshadow666]

Okay, the first thing I saw wrong with this thread was how much you keep saying "I." "I don't want to be screwed up for life."

How about you don't want your friend to be DEAD?

Anyway, this is a tricky situation. If he's serious, you need to talk to him. Ask him why. Ask him why he'd do this. And try to talk to him about why life is worth living. Talk to his parents. Talk to YOUR parents, and if you don't trust his, then maybe you shouldn't talk to them, but the important thing is to figure out why he wants to kill himself.

His girlfriend is weird, and obviously abusive in some way. You need to be there for him, and you need to try to get him to understand that you want him around.

Best of luck, but there's not much more I can think of that could help you, unless you can provide a little more information. This breaks my heart.

i said "I" because i OBVIOUSLY dont want him to end up dead. thats why i made this and am asking for advice.

but anyways, ill update you.

he called me. and i got mad because he hung up on me. and because he scared me to death because he was dodging cars.
he wants to do it because his parents are druggies and he started to get caught up in it. he wants to stop and in his eyes thats the only way to stop it. ive tried to tell him that he doesnt need to kill himself to get away from it...he's 17-he can leave and live by himself if he wants to. especially if his parents dont care. but he says they need him. and he cant leave because if he does then theyll overdose.
thats about all i can tell you. its how i understand it anyways.

 

[Livi]

I feel awful for you and your friend. All I can say is that you tell him how much he means to you (Though I'm sure you've done that already.) And tell him if he kills himself it'll only make things worse for his parents. If they overdose if he leaves they'll overdose if he dies. Tell him he has a long life to lead and he shouldn't throw it all away.

Question: Do you have feelings for him? Just a thought, and I'm wondering if it would help him or not.

Dunno if it helped or not. I hope everything turns out okay for him. ):

 

[darkshadow666]

i did and thats whats harder about it.
i liked him a few years ago and now he has a b**** for a girlfriend and she did this to him. he wants to try to cheat on her but im not gonna help him in that. never ever ever.

 

[Livi]

Alright. Well.. You should tell him cheating won't solve it, and she was worthless and shouldn't affect him like she is now. Tell him how you feel. Which sounds corny, I know. And if you have to, tell him about your feelings, even if they were in the past. I know it sounds crazy, but if he knows how much you really care about him, he might think again about what he's doing.

 

[Thelonepickle]

Well, there are plenty of places he can go for help with drugs. And his parents shouldn't be in charge of him anymore, because they're not fit to be parents. With the life he has, it's really not a huge surprise that he feels this depressed.

I think it'd be good if he found an adult he can trust. A school counselor, maybe? It sounds cheesey, but he seriously needs a good adult he can trust. If he has you, and he has some kind of grown-up as a guide, then he should be in good shape. He just needs to meet with someone who can help him find a solution.

If he kills himself, his parents will be alone anyway, and they'll overdose anyway. So what does killing himself prove?

"I can't leave, because my parents will OD, so I'm just going to kill myself"? Then he's leaving for good.

It's really very, very sad. If he's planning on doing this, then he can put it off for a while, can't he? I mean, if you were going to kill yourself, and your friend said, "give me ONE chance to help you out," wouldn't you grand them the chance? I mean, it's not as if you can't just kill yourself anyway...

Twisted logic, I guess. But I think I got my point out. Not sure.

 

[darkshadow666]

he said he's going to wait for a month then its *bang* and he's gone.
which scares me MORE.
he said that at the beginning of september. and its almost October. i never took him seriously and now i feel like i could have stopped it.
im gonna tell my mom's friend (thats a teacher at my school). shes had him in her classes before and she should be able to help.

 

[Miss Murder]

Believe it or not, I've been in a situation somewhat like this before. ( Suicidal friend, that is )

I was able to stop him committing suicide by hanging out with him more than ever, and even using reverse psychology at one point. ( To elaborate, I actually went along with his suicidal plans, told him I'd kill myself with him, etc. ) Because I threatened to do that ( though I more than likely wouldn't kill myself if he killed himself ) it helped him waver from the idea.

Do things that your friend wants to do, and most of all just hang out with him a lot. Talk with him, possibly use reverse psychology if you're good at things like that, relate to him and be sincere and kind. Make sure you tell all the people that you can trust and you think will trust you. Maybe even tell his parents, if you haven't already.

Also, you may want to remind him that if he kills himself the effect his death will have on his parents and such. Definately be sure to tell him how his death will effect him as well, and everything else like that.

You or someone who knows both you and your friend should defiantely try and get him out of that damn relationship with that girl. Obviously that is effecting him psychologically and should be ended immediately. It's my best guess that the possible two main reasons for him wanting to commit suicide are: 1. His girlfriend, who sounds like a bitch ... and 2. His parents' alchoholism, which I suppose can't really be helped at this point. But it's good that he cares for his parents. But still, like I said before, try and remind him about the effect his death will have on his parents, who he seems to care about a lot.

Oh ... and ... if he was dodging traffic in the streets, shouldn't you have been trying to stop him rather than typing this all on the computor? I guess it doesn't really matter at this point and is irrelevant, but still.

Good luck with this whole situation, and I sincerely hope that it turns out well. You have my sympathy and concern.

 

[blinkboy211]

now he's dodging traffic on a busy street as we speak. i know he wont die from getting hit by a car...but that just means that HES REALLY SERIOUS. I LIVE BY THIS STREET AND IM WATCHING HIM RIGHT NOW.

Uh this sort of got me. How wont he die from getting hit by a car? I mean if the car hits him hard enough or even how he would land after he was hit could kill him. He could land on his head and die. Also if you could see him then what kind of friend are you if you just let h9im keep doing it. SHouldnt you have went out there to help him?

Ok time for my advice. Just talk to him and get him away from his girlfriend for good. Try to talk to him alot face to face. Make him feel really special as in things that if he was gone things that wouldnt be the same or what you would miss. Dont say anything like it would throw you into a depression cause that can further his depression thinking he caused you, a friend, too much pain already.

Talk to your parents about him and try to get him to possibly go to rehab for drugs. Also if you could try to get his parents to go too.(doubt that will work though) Just show him how much you care. How you want whats best for him and you want to spend more fun times together.

 

[Rika17]

It's seems to me that your friend is depressed

 

[Spyells]

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

This is the website for the national suicide prevention help line that you can give your friend. Here is the number for your friend to call if he needs help.

1-800-SUICIDE

It is a toll free number.

At my high school we have an assembly every year about suicide. They give us cards to give someone if we know them and they are going to commit suicide. It is called the 'yellow ribbon'. I wish I could send you one. But I can't. This is all I can do to help your friend. He may not listen. But all they taught us at school is to keep a good watch over the friend, tell any adult that will listen, and tell your friend how much you care. And if you had this card that I have in front of me I would say give it to your friend. But you don't and that's all that I can do. Good luck!

 

[Rika17]

your friend is in need of help, he needs to be taken to a phycologish right away

 

[gottaluvkh1992]

I have had many times of being really depressed i am going through it now, but i have said i have wanted to but have never tried, sometimes i do fell like i want to but i dont. Try to smile and cheer him up that helped me. Make jokes and try to be there for him. DON'T SAY THINGS CAN GET BETTER OR IT WILL FEEL BETTER AFTER A FEW WEEKS that is the worst in my opinion, it means you are depressed and will get over it, if you are depressed you won't try to say that "so you would put me through so much pain because you are depressed and going to kill yourself?" When one of my friends said this i felt so guilty and maybe you should try cuz he would like to go out probally knowing you will think of good things. Sorry if i didnt help.

 

[Genocide]

your friend is in need of help, he needs to be taken to a phycologish right away

Not necessarily. As someone who is formerly suicidal, I know that sometimes bringing in outsiders can make it worse. The best option would be to get a group of friends together for an intervention.

 

[Hypoxium]

It's very difficult to change someone's mind when they're suicidal.

Try to make him remember a moment in his life that made him very happy, and ask him if he really wants to let go of those memories. And tell him that if he cares about you at all he'll keep himself alive just for you.

You could also stay with him and make sure he doesn't try to kill himself.

 

[Livi]

It's seems to me that your friend is depressed

Um, no duh? Next time give her some advice/help on the topic instead of stating something obvious.

So, how is everything going DarkShadow?