Either you love him or you hate him. And you if hate him, you secretly want him. This is Sam.
Rabbe: Why hello there Sam.
Sam: Hey there, compadre.
Rabbe: As you must know by now, you are one of the people we'd love to see answer few questions about yourself.
Sam: I'm also probably one of the people that you'd all love to see buried alive...but I don't mind. Let the interrogation commence!
Rabbe: That's true. People will weep and dance on your grave.
Rabbe: But firstly, Let's get this mandatory KH shit out of the way.
Sam: Sounds good, man.
Rabbe: We all know you are named Sam IRL, but how come this is also your name on KHI?
Sam: You were around before I changed my name, weren't you? It used to be Son of Sam. And no, it didn't come from the name of the serial killer. I used to be a huge fan of AFI, a fact that I'm not proud of. But I decided to shorten it when Ben and a few other people did because I'd gone by my first name for so long anyway. It only made sense. Having to memorize multiple names is fucking retarded anyway, and it seems like every time I return to the site everybody's got a new one...
Rabbe: Amen. This way people will at least remember you. They probably would anyway, but...
Rabbe: Speaking of the devil, How on earth did you end up in KHI? It's not really a place where you would expect to meet a person like you.
Sam: Funny you should mention that. I was looking at my profile the other day and I realized that in like three months I will have been on KHI for five years, which means I joined when I was twelve. That is ridiculous. And to this day I've still never played Kingdom Hearts. But you know who Silh is, of course.
Rabbe: of course.
Sam: I followed him here. We met on GameFAQs originally and hated each other's guts, but this was some years before either of us joined KHI so we were both very, very young (read: stupid). But anyway, we ended up getting back in touch one day and he offhandedly mentioned that he was on this site now, which lead to me joining, and the rest is history. Never thought he'd end up being the head admin.
Rabbe: Well that is something I didn't know.
Sam: I don't think many people do. I was probably 10 at the time.
Rabbe: five years is a long time. If you would have to look back at the time on KHI, what are you proud of and what are the dirty things you want to forget?
Sam: Tough question, because those things are more often than not one in the same. I'm not proud of a lot of things I've done, but sometimes the ends justify the means. I'm sort of like Dr. House. I get shit done, but not without leaving a trail of destruction and pestilence behind me.
Rabbe: This is the last question about our lovely little website. How would you compare people on the chat with rest of the site? Who are the bright stars who you'd like to meet in real life and who should be thrown under a buss?
Sam: The chat is the portion of the site that has outgrown everything else KHI has to offer, I think. You get people in there who are in their late teens and only leave that little corner of the site when they see something genuinely interesting. It's definitely the more intellectual crowd on KHI, but also by far the crueler. And it's where I fit in.
Sam: As for people I'd like to meet? It sort of comes down to who I think I'd really get along with in real life and not just who I like. I know that you and I would have a shit-ton of fun. Galen (Massive Attack) and I would also be great friends, I think. Alexx is a very different person than I am but I don't think it would matter in a face to face friendship. And probably Spic Steve, although I can see him pissing a lot of people off whenever we went out in public together which would inevitably lead to me getting beaten up...
Rabbe: Just push Spic Steve to those guys and run. Spic Steve would want that.
Sam: People who need to be thrown under a bus? Everybody in Fanclubs. Period. I haven't seen Star Light around in a long time, but she exemplified everything that I think is wrong with KHI. I think Dogenzaka could afford to have some humility and sense bludgeoned into him.
Sam: There are also a lot of really, really stupid girls on KHI. I'm not going to point fingers, but I'll say that I'm never surprised when I find out that somebody I thought was a compete dumbass turns out to be a chick. I wouldn't mind if they disappeared.
Rabbe: Some people just shouldn't have babies.
Sam: KHI acts as a good enough contraceptive anyway.
Rabbe: Internet is a great way to protect you from any harmful STD's. But now it's all about you and your life. You posted a picture of yourself with a long hair. You look like the mix of Kurt Cobain and that lion that killed Simba's dad. It suits you, but is there a reason behind this look?
Sam: A reason? Nah, not really. My hair doesn't usually look that fucked up, but in hindsight I got a lot of compliments on that picture and might adopt it permanently. I have to keep my hair long though. If it's above my chin it looks pretty horrible. Would you believe that shirt was Abercrombie? I know I look haggard as shit, but I'm wearing a $60 shirt. Go figure.
Rabbe: No I wouldn't.
Rabbe: The first time we spoke you told me you had never been drunk in your life and never felt the urge to do so. To this day, has this changed in any way?
Sam: Don't get me wrong, I have been buzzed before, but never fucked-in-half drunk. And nah, I don't really have any desire to. I can hold my liquor pretty well but I'm not much of a partier. And maybe it's just me, but something about being the only sober guy in a room full of people who shithoused makes me feel powerful.
Sam: Although you could kick my ass even if you were incredibly drunk, I'm not denying that.
Rabbe: Thank you, but I wouldn't do that. Avoid pain in any way is my motto.
Rabbe: How is Sam's lovelife going? Because of that hair you must get girls willing to do sinful things with you. Hell, if you had a guitar, even I would bend over.
Sam: I do play guitar, you tool. But I actually haven't had a steady girlfriend in over a year. Women have sort of lost their novelty with me. That, and they are all lying whores.
Rabbe: And now you can imagine me bending over.
Sam: More pleasant than Roseanne Barr bending over.
Rabbe: We all know mexicans just love to travel. If you could go anywhere on earth, where would it be?
Sam: Right now, probably anywhere in South America. I don't know what draws me to that continent, but it seems much different than Europe or Asia for instance.
Sam: I dated a girl from Chile once, now that I think about it. Wonder what she's doing...
Sam: Probably being eaten by a panther.
Rabbe: That could be. Isn't that the main cause of death down there?
Sam: If you ask Paolo's little brother, the answer is a definite yes.
Rabbe: So we've seen the smart side of Sam when you argue over the things you care about and we've seen the funny side of Sam when you post homo dad-son/brother-brother porn around the forum. How is this seen in real life? is it like 50-50 or more like 40-60?
Sam: It's all very contextual. When I'm bored or I see a funny thread, I like to contribute. And when people make dumb threads or voice dumb opinions, I call them out on it. In real life it's basically the same story. If something isn't fun, I go out of my way to make it fun. Although something I've noticed time and time again is that people are far less inclined to pursue a face-to-face debate. Online when I contest somebody's opinions, they put up a fight, but nine times out of ten the other person will back down and change the subject immediatly if the dispute is taking place in real life. So, it probably isn't a perfect 50-50 divide, but I don't think that has anything to do with me.
Rabbe: in the next part just pick the thing you like the most.
Rabbe: Missionary/doggy-style?
Sam: Depends on whether or not the gir...actually, I'll say missionary. Just to be on the safe side.
Rabbe: Black-Joe/Redneck-Joe?
Sam: Black Joe.
Rabbe: sausage/taco? (protip: don't pick sausage)
Sam: Horchata.
Rabbe: PeeAssThree/x-box-yo-mama 360 times?
Sam: I own both and I'd have to say Xbox 360. Better game library, better online service, and the graphical differences are nothing if you've got an HDTV.
Rabbe: since this is getting pretty long, I think I have to end this with a one final question.
Sam: Shoot.
Rabbe: We all know you were away for a really long time. There were rumours about you being dead or that Rich had taken you as a sex slave. Now we have been thinking of this and I just have to ask...
Rabbe: Why do Mexicans eat so god damn spicy food? isn't it hot enough without it?
Sam: I'll answer that question with one of my own; why do Finnish people put blood in all of their food? Blood pancakes? Blood sausage? You do realize that blood sausage is a slang term for a penis, right?
Rabbe: What can I say? We just to suck your (blood).
Sam: I've got something for you to suck. Haha. Real good.
Rabbe: Yes it was, but now it's time to end it. I hope to see you around since in the end we all love you even though some might say something else.
Sam: Do I get a goodbye kiss?
Rabbe:Yes you do.
Sam: (no homo)
Rabbe: (no homo)
