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Fanfiction ► twisted futures and shattered dreams



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zexion_org_xii

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(here is a fanfiction i came up with the other day, and here is the first chapter. please let me know what ou guys think, or what you may like to see?)



A day will come when light and dark, night and day will open a path leading to chaos, back to nuthingness. the worlds will seperate and crumble to nuthingness. Out of the darkness a keyblade will choose again. the one chosen will have to decide to stay in darkness, or return to nuthingness. i only hope that i dont live to see it.
-merlin
one year after war of sorrow.

-prologue

sleep, how long have i slept? how long have we all been sleeping? day dreaming about prosperity, and growth. not knowing that it would be yanked from under our feet, and with nuthing to hold you up, your ideas of love are torn apart away from you. that your neighbor will betray you because there is no other choice.
i cant remember what happened before the war when the heartless appeared, and darkness became the authority. all i know is that i was found in a dark alley in the depths of twilight town by a saint named Aeris. ever since then she has cared for me like a mother.
the only clue to my past is a dark coat that was found with me. the only link to my past. in the beginning it was the only thing on my mind, but as time went by i gave up on my past with the help of aeris. since then ive stayed with her. helping her with anything i could do to repay her.
its the dreams. or if thats what i can call them. these visions of battles, countless heartless flooding to one spot in the center. a tower over casting the land where the defending force stands. i can make out from what i see. but i wake up feeling scared, and hurt. i kept them to myself, never telling another soul.

i awake from my hellish nightmare to the comfort of my bedroom. i was panting, and sweating fiercely. the fan that hung above me was the only sound in the room. i turned to the light-up alarm. it read ten past midnight. i couldnt go back to bed. there was no way i was going back to that. i stood out of my bed, and walked over to the closet only to open it to an all most empty room. the only peice that stood hung up was the black coat. i reached for it and took it over its hanger only to put it on. luckly it still fits. i stare outside my bedroom window to see the train passing by the town and vanishing back into the hills. the heartless dont allow services to be in use after curfew. in fact no one is allowed to leave there home i thought staring outside the window. it was time to leave.
it was when i was a third of the way out of the window, a familar voice called out to me.
"hey stranger, you was planning on leaving without saying good-bye?" asked aeris who was now standing in the doorway. she moved into the room and sat on the bed. i turned back to her and answered.
"you have been kind, and im thankful for that. but i realized now that i have to know about my past, because my future depends on it. i must know who i am, there are no answers for me here." i leapt out the rest of the window, but before leaving her and this existance i whispered good-bye.
i knew that after curfew there were only a few heartless stationed at certain sections of town. it wasnt hard to sneak past them, and getting to the entrance of the station. looking down at the inhabitants of twilight town i began to think that it would only get worse for its citizens as the darkness takes away more freedoms from us. but i cant help them, i cant even help myself. not until i know who i am. i turned back and began heading to the station when a dark figure stood before me. he wore the same black coat, but i could not see a face. "who are you?" i asked.
"now now, is that anyway to talk to an ol friend? huh, roxas?"
 
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Allister Rose

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May 13, 2009
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i like your wording, though it seems much longer than your first chapter, but still try to go a little longer. the prologue and chapter I can possibly be just one one prologue.

Also it says that he was sleeping and wondered how long he was asleep. i assumed he woke up right there. but suddenly there was this paragraph aferwards that didnt exactly make sense to me after he woke up
 

zexion_org_xii

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Apr 13, 2006
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Location
miami florida
im sorry. he was thinking to himself, and i wasnt paying attrention about the reader. i was baked. but he was dreaming more than anything. i mean its just aeris thats there. thats why that was short. there wasnt much for him but to continue on. but thank you for this. i will make them longer.
 

Archetype00x

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Nothingness*

The first paragraph is very repetitive in it's wording, and the setting and characters' identities are very unclear. It's certainly interesting in it's ambiguity. Just try and go back and edit before you post.
 
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