- Joined
- Aug 3, 2005
- Messages
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- Age
- 31
Hey,
First and foremost, I apologize for posting this. I merely am posting this because I have no friends that are close to me that I could discuss this problem with (I wouldn't want them to feel awkward). I thought it best to post it here to get the opinions of those prepared to give advice and whose life won't be affected by my decision.
So, here's the problem.
For as long as I can remember, I had no friends, I had no motivation, I really didn't feel like I had anything. However, that started to change.
First, it changed when I first started to lift weights, then it started to change when I tried my best to be more social (with success here and there pending). It was great, even if I wasn't extremely social, but motivated none the less.
Then I move to my sister's house for the Summer.
I had motivation, but no clear path. My Brother-in-law gave me a clear path and options to go and try out. He has given me advice Mother never would give me because she is too kind and -frankly- fails at life.
My Brother-In-Law is always telling me how the world works how shit is everywhere and you need to take care of yourself and talk and say what you want. It has been good to me and help me shape and try even more to be more social.
Now, here's the problem.
The way he motivated me too was with brutual, honest, truth. He told me I am socially awkward, however, I worked and strived hard to do better and I was happy at the anime convention that I talked to five or so people there throughout the whole thing and got about 3 emails.
Now he's saying I act mentally retarded/handicapped.
You can imagine how angry I felt at this.
The thing is, it's not the first time he told me this. He told me this when I first moved in, he told me this when he was telling me that my sister was actually disgusted with me because I still acted like some child because I did not make decisions on my own, because I acted mentally handicapped, according to him.
Maybe I did not being familiar with a house or how things are done, feeling uncomfortable in the home. I understand why he'd think that when I communicate with people because I do not communicate well, though I do know without a fucking doubt I am getting fucking better.
I didn't mind the first few times because he told me he was just being honest and he wants me to change for the better. He tells me to go out and be social, which is what I'll try and do. He told me this information so I would change more readily to be more socially acceptable and dependable.
However, at this point when I'm building hell of a lot more confidence and think I'm progressing he decides to call me mentally handicapped, or that I act lesbian and mentally handicapped.
Should I go back to my Mother?
I had only left for the Summer (and will stay for the Summer), however, my brother-in-law and sister have a proposition for me; to live with them. This is because my sister cares and worries for me while I am at my Mother's place and if my brother-in-law didn't want me to live with them, he'd tell me. Or, scare me off.
The problem with Mother is that I know I must change to fit in with society and that I must adapt and talk to others.
She's passive, no supportive.
She sympathisizes, but gives no alternatives.
She would rather have me stay the same than grow up because I am her little child and she doesn't really seem capable of helping me grow (she certainly wasn't there or noticed when I was in depression; she much prefers the computer to her children even if she doesn't realize it).
The dilemna I'm having is whether I should stay with my sister and brother-in-law and bear with them no matter how degrading my brother-in-law may call me all for honesty's sake and knowing my sister may secretely find me disgusting so that they can help with my growth, or go to my passive, unmotivated obese Mother who can't find the time to do anything and have no one to tell me the facts as they are or to inhibit my growth by lack of advice, but with more than enough empathy.
What do you think? (Another thing I must also work on is communication, but that will be for another day; I'd love to witness more examples and fundements to conversation).
-Taokitty
First and foremost, I apologize for posting this. I merely am posting this because I have no friends that are close to me that I could discuss this problem with (I wouldn't want them to feel awkward). I thought it best to post it here to get the opinions of those prepared to give advice and whose life won't be affected by my decision.
So, here's the problem.
For as long as I can remember, I had no friends, I had no motivation, I really didn't feel like I had anything. However, that started to change.
First, it changed when I first started to lift weights, then it started to change when I tried my best to be more social (with success here and there pending). It was great, even if I wasn't extremely social, but motivated none the less.
Then I move to my sister's house for the Summer.
I had motivation, but no clear path. My Brother-in-law gave me a clear path and options to go and try out. He has given me advice Mother never would give me because she is too kind and -frankly- fails at life.
My Brother-In-Law is always telling me how the world works how shit is everywhere and you need to take care of yourself and talk and say what you want. It has been good to me and help me shape and try even more to be more social.
Now, here's the problem.
The way he motivated me too was with brutual, honest, truth. He told me I am socially awkward, however, I worked and strived hard to do better and I was happy at the anime convention that I talked to five or so people there throughout the whole thing and got about 3 emails.
Now he's saying I act mentally retarded/handicapped.
You can imagine how angry I felt at this.
The thing is, it's not the first time he told me this. He told me this when I first moved in, he told me this when he was telling me that my sister was actually disgusted with me because I still acted like some child because I did not make decisions on my own, because I acted mentally handicapped, according to him.
Maybe I did not being familiar with a house or how things are done, feeling uncomfortable in the home. I understand why he'd think that when I communicate with people because I do not communicate well, though I do know without a fucking doubt I am getting fucking better.
I didn't mind the first few times because he told me he was just being honest and he wants me to change for the better. He tells me to go out and be social, which is what I'll try and do. He told me this information so I would change more readily to be more socially acceptable and dependable.
However, at this point when I'm building hell of a lot more confidence and think I'm progressing he decides to call me mentally handicapped, or that I act lesbian and mentally handicapped.
Should I go back to my Mother?
I had only left for the Summer (and will stay for the Summer), however, my brother-in-law and sister have a proposition for me; to live with them. This is because my sister cares and worries for me while I am at my Mother's place and if my brother-in-law didn't want me to live with them, he'd tell me. Or, scare me off.
The problem with Mother is that I know I must change to fit in with society and that I must adapt and talk to others.
She's passive, no supportive.
She sympathisizes, but gives no alternatives.
She would rather have me stay the same than grow up because I am her little child and she doesn't really seem capable of helping me grow (she certainly wasn't there or noticed when I was in depression; she much prefers the computer to her children even if she doesn't realize it).
The dilemna I'm having is whether I should stay with my sister and brother-in-law and bear with them no matter how degrading my brother-in-law may call me all for honesty's sake and knowing my sister may secretely find me disgusting so that they can help with my growth, or go to my passive, unmotivated obese Mother who can't find the time to do anything and have no one to tell me the facts as they are or to inhibit my growth by lack of advice, but with more than enough empathy.
What do you think? (Another thing I must also work on is communication, but that will be for another day; I'd love to witness more examples and fundements to conversation).
-Taokitty