Help/Support ► I just want some help. And opinions. Or maybe I'm just letting out my feelings.

[IceBlueWings]

I'm sure many parents had quarreled before, not just my parents. Some may have it worse than me. But sometimes I can't take it. I'm not that strong like some people. Every time my parents have a fight I lock myself in my room and I try to pretend that I can't hear them. Well of course it doesn't work because their voices (especially my mom) is so freaking loud and sometimes I'm embarrassed to think that the neighbours might hear them too.

My dad doesn't quarrel with my mom. My mom does. She always starts it. Sometimes I understand that she gets annoyed at certain things my dad does but I don't find it a good reason as to why she should start quarreling over it. And my dad's already old and retired. He sends me to school, picks me up from school, does small errands and chores in the house (and this was after my mom started quarreling over how he's so lazy and doesn't do anything at all in the house). She even accuses him of chasing after another woman who I've never heard of before and has never come to our house once. I mean, my dad stays at home the whole day unless he has to do something (which is picking me up from school and shopping for household items and taking care of the house, cats, fish whatever).

Once my dad completely lost it and he yelled at my mom. Usually when they quarrel my dad just keeps quiet and lets my mom vent out all her anger on him until she starts crying and it just stops there and he leaves her alone. But that one time when he lost his temper I thought it was the end of my family. My dad even suggested to my mom that if she doesn't like him then they might as well have a divorce. But she started yelling at him some more about how he always gives up on things and never cares about anything but himself.

That's not true at all. My dad's done a lot for us (you know, he worked for food on the table and for us to have fun and all those stuff) and sometimes I feel like my mom doesn't appreciate it. When I was younger I thought my dad was the bad person but now that I'm older and I listen carefully to them I feel like my mom's the wrong one.

I love my mom and my dad. When they're not quarreling and talking about weird things they make me laugh so much. But they're quarreling more than often now (even right now, they're not talking to each other). Once I was locked in my room and my dad came in after their quarrel and he hugged me and kept saying 'Sorry. I love you.' And I cried so much not because I was hurt by their quarrel but because my dad was troubled by it.

I'm not trying to blame it all on my mom, (and lately I've been thinking maybe she's reaching menopause or something D and I'm closer to my mom than my dad. I'm scared to talk to my mom about this because she might start scolding me and accuse me of hating her. Once my brother and my mom had an argument and my dad tried to calm my mom down but she started quarreling with my dad saying that he hates her and my brother hates her too. (Drama queen much?)

I've never spoken up whenever they have fights and I'm scared to even talk about it to my mom. But knowing my mom, talking about it to her doesn't even help because she doesn't even want to listen. She'll make up some excuse and push it away. And I don't know what I should do. I'm scared that they'll really divorce, even though maybe it's better that way.

Is it better for me to just stay silent as I am? (Sorry, this is really long, haha.)

 

[Solar]

Been there, felt that. Pretty rough.

Though this might seem hard to believe, there is a good chance this might pass.

Almost exact same thing, if not exactly the same thing happend to me.

I just kept myself distracted and forgot about it at times.

However, your parents do love you and will in some small part take your opinions into consideration. So, talking to either one might not be a bad idea.

 

[The Conquerer]

Doesn't sound good. My parents been together for 20 years before they split up when I was a Junior (so I was around your age). Similar scenario. It happened around when I was your age and it has been two years, and I'm perfectly fine and my parents are more or less kinda friendly towards each other, but they've definitely moved on with their lives and found new people.

It could be that your mom is guilty herself and is dodging the responsibility to own up to it by casting suspension on someone else in order to feel as though she isn't the only guilty party; falsely justifying her actions. You have to learn that divorces happen. Better that it is happening at this age than if you were a little kid. You can probably cope with it more and not have to deal with all that custody issues and what not. It's hard, but you might have to be a grown-up and just deal.

 

[IceBlueWings]

Been there, felt that. Pretty rough.

Though this might seem hard to believe, there is a good chance this might pass.

Almost exact same thing, if not exactly the same thing happend to me.

I just kept myself distracted and forgot about it at times.

However, your parents do love you and will in some small part take your opinions into consideration. So, talking to either one might not be a bad idea.

Thank you. I guess I'll try...I think.

Doesn't sound good. My parents been together for 20 years before they split up when I was a Junior (so I was around your age). Similar scenario. It happened around when I was your age and it has been two years, and I'm perfectly fine and my parents are more or less kinda friendly towards each other, but they've definitely moved on with their lives and found new people.

It could be that your mom is guilty herself and is dodging the responsibility to own up to it by casting suspension on someone else in order to feel as though she isn't the only guilty party; falsely justifying her actions. You have to learn that divorces happen. Better that it is happening at this age than if you were a little kid. You can probably cope with it more and not have to deal with all that custody issues and what not. It's hard, but you might have to be a grown-up and just deal.

If they do end up deciding to have a divorce, I would just agree with it since it probably is better that way. And I do think that my mom is doing just as you said. But I don't see the divorce happening any time soon, or any time at all. I don't think they're going to divorce (from what I'm seeing in every fight they have). And I think my mom wouldn't divorce my dad because she's depends on my dad. I just hate it when she starts quarreling with him.

 

[Nutari]

Sounds pretty rough. My mom always starts stuff with my dad. cept she always gets the last word in. its complicated but it should pass, just have hope, whether or not your the religious type id pray about it. talk to your dad about it sometime too. your mom seems to be the person not to talk to in this situation. good luck

 

[Anti_Terra122]

read post below .

 

[Anti_Terra122]

my mom always sterts something with my dad and its over something stupid or simple

like aldrain said pray about it or talk to your dad sometimes about it

 

[Coffee Lover]

I sorta know where you are coming from. My parents argue a lot, but I've gotten used to it. You should tell your parents how their arguing is effecting you and that they are too loud.

You could also try to resolve what they are arguing about; have them sit down when they are calm and just talk. However, if your parents are like mine, they'll just start arguing.

 

[Nutari]

Yah be careful how you approach them about it. It could be a walking on egg shells topic for them so dont get stuck in the middle. And say it in a way that keeps them from blaming eachother for the fighting

 

[IceBlueWings]

I sorta know where you are coming from. My parents argue a lot, but I've gotten used to it. You should tell your parents how their arguing is effecting you and that they are too loud.

You could also try to resolve what they are arguing about; have them sit down when they are calm and just talk. However, if your parents are like mine, they'll just start arguing.

Yah be careful how you approach them about it. It could be a walking on egg shells topic for them so dont get stuck in the middle. And say it in a way that keeps them from blaming eachother for the fighting

I would have done it, but talking to my dad doesn't really do much because he doesn't know what to do as well. He's usually quiet while my mom does all the yelling and the blaming. He takes in everything and doesn't do much of anything. And I tried talking to my mom once but she ends up blaming everything on my dad again and she vents out her anger on me so I get scared. And like I said earlier, I know that if I try to talk to my mom about she'll end up saying something like 'You don't like me' or 'You're always like your father that's why you don't anything' or something like that and I can't talk back about it because she'll start scolding me.

My parents have been arguing since I was 6 or 7 and I have gotten used to it but I can't stand it. When my dad and I are alone he'll tell me 'Your mother started yelling at me again,' he sighs, 'I don't know what to do anymore.' I know my dad knows how to talk with my mom, but she doesn't. She keeps yelling and arguing and doesn't calm down. My dad tries to calm her down but she yells some more. I try to calm her down and she vents out her anger on me. So...yeah.

 

[nicoleohbugga]

Been there, felt that. Pretty rough.

Though this might seem hard to believe, there is a good chance this might pass.

Almost exact same thing, if not exactly the same thing happend to me.

I just kept myself distracted and forgot about it at times.

However, your parents do love you and will in some small part take your opinions into consideration. So, talking to either one might not be a bad idea.

Same here. It happened during middle school for me, which was rough, because middle school pretty much molds you in to who you will be in high school. I was a very emotional lazy girl. The only thing different was, I did let it affect me, which was bad. I agree to just distract yourself and try not to focus on them. If you need to, message me.

 

[IceBlueWings]

Thank you I'm trying to not let it affect me. I used to stay with my brother and talk with him about nonsense whenever they fight but my brother's not at home anymore so I have no one to talk to. But I'll live with it :3