Help/Support ► So I'm Really Trying To Figure This Out

[Marly]

Ok, so, this thread really isn't so much for me as it is for my friend; Sean. But it's also sort of for me because it confuses the shit out of me. Maybe I'm just over thinking it.

So here's the deal. I've got three friends; Chey, Alyssa, and Sean. We're all really close. Chey and Alyssa are as best of friends as I could really imagine. And Alyssa and Sean are really close. About three or four weeks ago Chey and Sean started dated right? And well Alyssa kind of nudged them into it together. Sean always really liked Chey. And Chey started getting feelings for him.

So they start dating and Alyssa's approval quickly turns to disapproval as Chey gets torn away from her by Sean. Naturally, I mean she's losing her best friend. Nonetheless, sex had to come up eventually. And, here's where I'm confused, Alyssa said to Sean "I don't want you to have sex with her because it's just another something that her and I can't share." Does that make sense? Like Alyssa has had sex before, so not like that. But that Alyssa and Chey can't have sex.

Anyway, that statement confuses me quite a bit. And I don't know if I'm over thinking it or what. I'm just curious as to how to convince Alyssa that it'd be alright for them to have sex. Or what psychologically is going on here. Hmm.

 

[Vossler]

To me it just sounds like she is jealous and just doesn't want here friend sleeping with another girl other than her. She has probably just liked him for a long time and never said anything and is feeling a real sense for him no that he is with someone else. Hope this helps.

 

[Marly]

No, Alyssa definitely doesn't have feelings for Sean. And I think you read it wrong. Alyssa doesn't want Sean to have sex with Chey because her and Chey can't share that experience.

 

[Dogenzaka]

Yeah, I understand what she means.
Simply put, dating amongst best-friends usually, no, most always ends up in heartbreak and splitting up of friendships. It's not worth it, especially considering the chances of you teens actually getting MARRIED or staying together in the future is a laughable odd.

 

[Aucune Raison]

So this some sort of lesbianic thing?

 

[Marly]

I'm still confused what psychologically is going on in Alyssa's head when she said "I don't want you two having sex because Chey and I can't share that experience."

So this some sort of lesbianic thing?

See, that's what I'm sort of wondering... But surely. I don't see Alyssa being a lesbian.

 

[Vossler]

No, Alyssa definitely doesn't have feelings for Sean. And I think you read it wrong. Alyssa doesn't want Sean to have sex with Chey because her and Chey can't share that experience.

Oh sorry.Not trying to be offensive or anything,but us some sort of a lesbian or soemthing?

 

[_EX]

"I don't want you to have sex with her because it's just another something that her and I can't share."

CRYPTIC METAPHOR.

Maybe she means she cant have him if Chey is with him. Maybe someones a virgin here and they cant share their first time

 

[Marly]

I dunno. I mean I know they're really really close, so I'm trying to factor that in. And I know Alyssa is fairly promiscuous with the guys. So I find that hard to believe.

CRYPTIC METAPHOR.

Maybe she means she cant have him if Chey is with him. Maybe someones a virgin here and they cant share their first time

Chey's a virgin and Alyssa isn't. Alyssa doesn't want Sean.

 

[_EX]

Maybe you should ask her what the deal is.

 

[Bukkake Sensei]

Since Alyssa and Chey aren't intimate in the first place, you have to disregard her gender and imagine that you were dating your buddy's best female friend and he said the same thing to you -- which is basically, "I want to fuck your girlfriend, so you aren't allowed to". Chey isn't the one dating Alyssa, so she shouldn't be having sex with her in the first place.

I think Chey is pretty fucked up, and Sean needs to tell her to back off and not act like such a creep.

 

[Marly]

So you're saying Alyssa want's to have sex with Sean?... Even though I really don't see that happening, I suppose I can't really disregard the thought.

 

[_EX]

Maybe now that Sean is taken Alyssa feels bad because she cant have him. she didnt want him before but now that she knows she cant have him she wants him. Like she wants to keep her options open in case she ever did get feelings for him.

 

[Marly]

i just find it hard to believe this has anything to do with Alyssa wanting Sean. She pretty much hates him nowadays for their relationship.

 

[_EX]

i just find it hard to believe this has anything to do with Alyssa wanting Sean. She pretty much hates him nowadays for their relationship.

Sex usually makes relationships more complicated so that might be the reason but I still suggest you talk to her. If youre the one person who is in the middle and everyone thinks of you as the mediator becasue they have all chosen their sides in the fight and you havnt then I say you try to find out what the problem is at least. Unless you have taken a side in this then become the mediator.

 

[Dogenzaka]

It doesn't mean it's lesbianic.

Friendships are just based around shared experiences. When someone grabs a boyfriend/girlfriend, jealousy kicks in because that third-leg is sucking attention and fellowship away from the friendship. It's simply basic jealousy; Alyssa is jealous, because she might feel like she needs attention or doesn't want anyone to take control from her in her relationships.

 

[Marly]

That's a really great answer. Thanks Dogen.

 

[Rabello]

And, here's where I'm confused, Alyssa said to Sean "I don't want you to have sex with her because it's just another something that her and I can't share." Does that make sense?

No.

This Alyssa is clearly an idiot. Of course they are going to have sex and she doesn't have any saying in that matter.

 

[Firo]

Gear up Marly, you might be having a foursome.