Help/Support ► Worried about stuff

[Moonlight Aqua]

So I have this friend, we been friends for 8 years. She's younger than me by 4 years, but to me she seems so mature. She dresses more adult than me and her point of view seems more mature than me. Then you have me, this very cheerful person. I'm 25, going to be 26 this year but I feel that I'm so immature compared to her. I already have a career and worked hard to be where I am, but I feel my personality is not what should be for someone my age. I'm an happy person, I am serious when I have to and can be I guess to put it simply, From a hufflepuff to a slyternin pretty fast. I guess what I'm trying to say, that I can be a very happy person, laid back, but when stuff happens, I can be the most serious and thoughtful person there. As well I tried to dress nicely, but I feel that I don't look as cute or beautiful like her. I feel like I'm trying to be like her, and I don't like that. I like being myself, but I feel that I'm so immature compared to her and my other friends and other people my age. I been told that someone didn't like me because how immature I am. It hurts when they said that, because I was just being nothing but nice and myself.

 

[Muke]

Always stay true to yourself and don't change yourself just because others don't like you (except if it's, like, extreme)
I don't know why they'd say sch a thing (not liking you because you're immature), but just don't listen.

 

[Moonlight Aqua]

Yeah but I feel I'm doing something wrong because the way I'm acting v.s my younger friend. Like what's wrong with me?

 

[BlackOsprey]

Nothing is "wrong" with you. Everyone has their own personalities, we're not mass-produced machines. We don't have a specific "maturity level" that we must achieve at a certain age. It sounds like you are happy and you have a career, which is far more than I can say for most people. Having a career alone means that you are responsible, which is honestly more important than most "signs" of maturity.

You sound like a pretty chill person tbh. I don't see how being laid-back by default but serious when needed is "immature", it just sounds like you take things seriously when it's necessary. We need people who aren't super-serious drones all the time.

 

[Moonlight Aqua]

Nothing is "wrong" with you. Everyone has their own personalities, we're not mass-produced machines. We don't have a specific "maturity level" that we must achieve at a certain age. It sounds like you are happy and you have a career, which is far more than I can say for most people. Having a career alone means that you are responsible, which is honestly more important than most "signs" of maturity.

You sound like a pretty chill person tbh. I don't see how being laid-back by default but serious when needed is "immature", it just sounds like you take things seriously when it's necessary. We need people who aren't super-serious drones all the time.

That's true. Thank you. I had to deal with a kid today who couldn't breathe and the grandmother was not wanting to call the ambulance. I was so mad, but I talked to her calmly and explained to her what's going on and why I think what we should do. I don't lose my temper but I was so mad, but I don't show it. And I can be serious, but I rather be in "I don't care" mode and just do my own things
"

 

[Kounelli]

Maturity does not equal personality. You can be naturally fun-loving and enjoy the more pleasurable things in life, this is part of your personality, especially when you are in the comfort of your friends and family. Being able to conduct yourself professionally for work or school is part of the maturity, because you know when it's time to be serious. I'm assuming based on the fact that you have a career that you know this, and your job finds your work ethic efficient enough to keep you around.

Perhaps your friends just find your personality off putting, and don't know how else to describe it because they just simply don't know what it means. That is there problem, not yours, and you shouldn't have to compare yourself to your friend because they are ignorant. Each person is different, and we all act based on how we perceive our world around us. I know I was always told how "mature" I am growing up, only to be left behind later because "I was too boring" during high school. Now that I am in college, they are looking for that more "mature" nature, but that's only because we have been conditioned to believe that proper work ethic comes from robotic consistency and "no fun".

You are fine just the way you are, and I feel that you can conduct yourself properly when the time calls for it. There is no reason not to be yourself and force your feelings away because other people can't accept you.

 

[DefiantHeart]

I'm 27, going to be 28 this year... I lived about 25 years of my life trying to be someone else. Trust me, ish not worth it. All I felt during those years was dead inside and life passed me by without a second thought, and I still got people trying to tell me who to be. Ish just best to be chuself so chu don't have any regrets when chu have chu final moments. " Did I live my life to the fullest?" Things like that I'm always going to regret, like I wasted my childhood. Ish not worth chu time to be someone else for someone else and miss out on life, in the end they don't care that they wasted chu time, and chu only have chuself to blame in the end, while they're living their own lives.

Chu can see from the way I type, I'm waay more immature then chu, don't worry about it. ^_^

World's too serious anyways...

 

[VoidGear.]

While I'm still around four years younger than you, I often have people mistake me for a young teenager. That's partly because of the way I look and partly because of the way I act.
I wouldn't really give it too much thought though. If what you want from life is to be happy and you can be happy by just being yourself, do it! People trying to stop you from that because they find it immature kinda only sounds jealous to me, tbh.

 

[Recon]

Everyone covered lots, but one tidbit not mentioned is that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. Everyone has a "journey" through life and the best advice is just to live through yours; not others.

 

[Noir]

Everyone covered lots, but one tidbit not mentioned is that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. Everyone has a "journey" through life and the best advice is just to live through yours; not others.

Very key words, right here. It's something I struggle a lot with myself, but I need to stop.
People are all uniquely different. Just because your friend acts differently from you, does not necessarily mean that you need to, as well. Personalities are different, and while I'm sure her own is wonderful, your own can be wonderful too. Everyone has their own quirks.

Looking at yourself in the eyes of others can be off-putting as well. I feel we automatically assume people think the worst, but that's the thing, we don't know what they think. It's usually just our own insecurities convincing us that's how they feel, when in fact, we simply can't know - maybe the thought hasn't even crossed their minds.

 

[Moonlight Aqua]

I been having a lot of anxiety lately mostly because of my adderall along with coke is making me feel this way. I been without soda and I been fine, so I'm guessing this is the reason why I been feeling this way.

 

[Grono]

I been having a lot of anxiety lately mostly because of my adderall along with coke is making me feel this way. I been without soda and I been fine, so I'm guessing this is the reason why I been feeling this way.

I get it, we all get like that when we're anxious Also, I forgot to say this earlier, but I totally relate with your last sentence on your post. I'm way too nice to everyone I meet, and I feel like I'm losing a part of myself doing it. Everyone always calls me immature or irresponsible as well, and I always think that if I didn't give everyone a free pass to be a douche in real life that I'd be called more responsible or more mature, you know?

 

[Moonlight Aqua]

I get it, we all get like that when we're anxious Also, I forgot to say this earlier, but I totally relate with your last sentence on your post. I'm way too nice to everyone I meet, and I feel like I'm losing a part of myself doing it. Everyone always calls me immature or irresponsible as well, and I always think that if I didn't give everyone a free pass to be a douche in real life that I'd be called more responsible or more mature, you know?

I totally hate that. I'm a happy person at heart, I'm not Sora annoying, but I used to be. But I calmed myself down because I saw how badly it could affect people and relationships. So I'm a Sora, I guess you can say, but with some Riku in me. I can be serious when I have to, but most of the time I'm generally happy.