Help/Support ► Awkward...

[Zeph]

So. Long story short, my mom and I have had trouble getting along for the past long while due to religious views and other stuff. Yesterday, I got fed up and told her I had had enough, so I called my dad. Now I find myself in this extremely awkward situation living with a man that I have bad history with and his current "girlfriend". My best friend told me that I could always come to her place if I needed to, and I would love to be there instead, but due to various issues with her parents, that's not really a possible situation either. I've discussed this with the few people I trust enough, and I feel like they've given me good advice, but I find my emotions alternating between accepting the situation I've placed myself in (I realize that this was my choice and I'm trying my best to live up to it), and literally being sick over where I'm at (haven't been able to eat [not counting the piece of pizza my dad made me eat "for dinner" that I barely kept down]). I find the latter emotion is more constant... My dad's already tried to start some crap, but for the most part we haven't interracted much since I came here and I've had my iPod playing my favorite bands on constantly.

As I said earlier, I've talked to a few close friends about this, but I thought I'd like to ask the people of KHI for their objective opinions and viewpoints. So yeah...

 

[Tenyas]

Religious conflict never bodes well.

Same thing's going on in my family, surrounding my Aunt [the one trying to convert us all] My grandparents and my own parents. Grandparents are just being used, my parents act sweet as sugar around my aunt but curse behind her back, and I tend to unintentionally start conflict.
I was once an idiot and ended up making it so that Christmas was a time of silence at my Aunt's house and I almost got her into a hissy fit.

Long story short, neutral is best. Say you don't like what she's doing but you accept her choice. And yeah, it doesn't sound healthy with your dad.

 

[Vexen o3o]

The best thing to do is try avoiding topics of religion. It starts a huge arguement, and nothing ever gets solved.

 

[Zeph]

Religious conflict never bodes well.

Same thing's going on in my family, surrounding my Aunt [the one trying to convert us all] My grandparents and my own parents. Grandparents are just being used, my parents act sweet as sugar around my aunt but curse behind her back, and I tend to unintentionally start conflict.
I was once an idiot and ended up making it so that Christmas was a time of silence at my Aunt's house and I almost got her into a hissy fit.

Long story short, neutral is best. Say you don't like what she's doing but you accept her choice. And yeah, it doesn't sound healthy with your dad.

The best thing to do is try avoiding topics of religion. It starts a huge arguement, and nothing ever gets solved.

It's hard to stay neutral though, which is what I've been trying for the past several years. But you see, mum's a Christian, and she takes her religion very seriously. "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," or something like that... and she refuses to compromise...

 

[Tenyas]

She said her house, which means she can do whatever the freak she wants with the upholstry but she can't touch another human being.

Your opinion is your own, ignore her ramblings and just leave her be. It's hard, I know, I still snap occasionally, but unless you want to stay in your current conditions, I suggest trying to keep your nose out of it.

 

[Vexen o3o]

Well it depends on what you think is better, staying with mom, or your dad? Other then the religious ramblings, is it really all that bad?

 

[Zeph]

She said her house, which means she can do whatever the freak she wants with the upholstry but she can't touch another human being.

Your opinion is your own, ignore her ramblings and just leave her be. It's hard, I know, I still snap occasionally, but unless you want to stay in your current conditions, I suggest trying to keep your nose out of it.

Eh.. that's not how she sees it, and I do keep my opinions to myself until I have to go to church and behave as if I actually am happy to be there. Trust me, I don't go looking to start "discussions" of religion.

Well it depends on what you think is better, staying with mom, or your dad? Other then the religious ramblings, is it really all that bad?

Erm... she likes to keep me from "going down the wrong path" (ie listening to "secular" music, playing "evil" videogames such as FF, etc... watching "disgusting" television shows (I don't watch tv other than anime sat. night on adult swim and Project Runway), and neither she nor my stepdad can keep from badmouthing my environmentally-friendly views...

 

[Tenyas]

Pfff... She thinks Final Fantasy is evil? I'm sorry but.... XD

Anyway, tell her that it's your own path and you don't see it as the work of the devil for it was made by people. And if she says men sin, tell her those same men made that nice table sitting in her living room or that t.v. she uses to watch lifetime. {sereiously FF does reflect religion I don't see her problem.}

 

[Vexen o3o]

.... Shit that sucks. There's nothing much I can say, I hardly know anything on your current situation with your mom and dad, so it's hard for me to make judgement. Whatever makes you happier I guess :/

 

[Zeph]

Pfff... She thinks Final Fantasy is evil? I'm sorry but.... XD

Anyway, tell her that it's your own path and you don't see it as the work of the devil for it was made by people. And if she says men sin, tell her those same men made that nice table sitting in her living room or that t.v. she uses to watch lifetime. {sereiously FF does reflect religion I don't see her problem.}

Yes, yes she does. And she's "undecided" about Kingdom Hearts.

Yes I've tried...she can be... difficult. XD Her issues with FF started when she decided to research FFX, and then went on a tangent saying that it's trying to say that all religion is bad, etc.. >.>

.... Shit that sucks. There's nothing much I can say, I hardly know anything on your current situation with your mom and dad, so it's hard for me to make judgement. Whatever makes you happier I guess :/

Current situation with my mom is pretty much what I just said, and dad... there's not much talking between the two of us. He's done some pretty rotten things and has been an overall jerk basically my whole life.

 

[Tenyas]

Final Fantasy in every way celabrates religion while admitting it has faults. Did she want it to lie? I thought that was a sin... hmmm. :/

I wouldn't stay with the dad. That's just me. I can't stand my real sperm donor and you seem like you don't either. I would just deal with the rants, it's only words and those're easily ignored. If you let it get to you, you admit defeat to her nagging and she'll never cease.

 

[Zeph]

Hm, something like that..

Yeah, I don't really. And yes, you're right there. :3 Thank you very much!

 

[Tenyas]

Welcome. I'm just a puddle of information and such. I'll be here if she acts up again. ^.^

 

[Zeph]

Hahaha that you are. XD Why thank yous. ^^;;;

 

[Leonard]

I would just deal with the rants, it's only words and those're easily ignored. If you let it get to you, you admit defeat to her nagging and she'll never cease.

I don't think I'm in the position to judge, but from what I read, she doesn't seem like a person who'd just let it slip like that. :/
Religion can be such a powerful force.

But yeah, depends on how she estimates her mother's behaviour.

My dad's already tried to start some crap, but for the most part we haven't interracted much since I came here and I've had my iPod playing my favorite bands on constantly.

Well, you are aware that you probably won't be able to avoid interacting with your father forever, right? I mean, since he is your legal guardian (I'll just assume you're not 18/21 yet >.>) you'll need his assistance for many things.

Again, I guess you have to decide for yourself if you'd be able to cope with that.

By the way, maybe you'd have a chance to get into a proper conversation if you do it via her church? Maybe if you talk it out together with someone who has some influence on your mother (head of the church for example), you might be able to bring your points across better and get her to realize she needs to be a little more tolerant.

 

[Gildragon]

She said her house, which means she can do whatever the freak she wants with the upholstry but she can't touch another human being.

You totally got that verse wrong.

When it says "As for me and my house, we will serve the lord"
that's not referring to the actual structure or building of the house. its referring to you and your family. Since the mother was the family "head" in this case anyone under her (I.E. her children) would be "her house" since the parents are in charge (or should be) and that she believes the fundamentals of her religion go against the actions that her child is performing, she is completely justified in making these decisions.
This is all because as a parent she gets to determine what the child should or should not do.

However. I don't agree with WHAT she thinks is right or wrong.

 

[Tenyas]

I was adding slight humor to this situation. A woman who can deem a videogame meant for 10 year olds evil is worthy of one small joke. No offense intended.

I know what she meant but I stand by the human part. It's like saying that since Obama is the president he can decide what you eat.

 

[Zeph]

Well, you are aware that you probably won't be able to avoid interacting with your father forever, right? I mean, since he is your legal guardian (I'll just assume you're not 18/21 yet >.>) you'll need his assistance for many things.

Again, I guess you have to decide for yourself if you'd be able to cope with that.

By the way, maybe you'd have a chance to get into a proper conversation if you do it via her church? Maybe if you talk it out together with someone who has some influence on your mother (head of the church for example), you might be able to bring your points across better and get her to realize she needs to be a little more tolerant.

Yes, I am aware of that. But ehm.. I'm 19, and due to various circumstances I'm still at home/putting college off.

Now I haven't thought of that, but the church she attends, and what she believes, is rather intolerant and extremely against any sort of "compromising" so I'm not sure if having a pastor's input would be helpful or not. Because from what I've seen/heard (I just got thrugh with being drug to church every day for a week) he seems to think the same way she does in that having any sort of 'ungodliness' in the house, be it a videogame or even what they call rebellion, will hinder the 'blessing' of God (and make no mistake, every family member must be 'saved' and in perfect submission).

 

[Black Rose Witch]

Sounds kinda like me. My religion is against anything with demons in it and i for one think its stupid and dumb, and they are against magic and yada and more stuff. Ive gotten away with most things though but you know lately everything has been getting looked at. I feel really bad for you and i know what you are going through