Fanfiction ► Kingdom Hearts Reality Show.

[Iwrestledabearonce]

Ok,Originally made by Don Patch(The Destiny Island's Reality Show)I was so inspiried by pissing my pants so much,I decided to make my own:Kingdom Hearts Reality Show.(Sometimes "special" episodes come(i.e. talk show episode every once in a while)).
Introduction
Random Boy: It Begins.
Sora: What?
Random Boy: Don't Cry.
Sora: Dude,wtf is this?Are you copying Final Fantasy X?
Random Boy: Ummm....*runs away*
Sora: That s#!t is f#@*ed up.
Riku: Sora,you got any weed?
Sora: Ok,writing person.Stop with this bulls#!t.
Me: Don't ask me,Tetsuya Noruma made you!
Tet Nor: Don't blame me,you punk a$$ little sonova b!#%h.
Me: Ummmm.Ok then.Welcome to the Kingdom Hearts Reality Show!Yeah I know the opening sucked,just shut the hell up about that.
Gamer#1: NO THE OPENING SUCKED!!!
Gamer#2: YEAH THE OPENING TOTALLY SUCKED D!@K!
Gamer#3: YEAH I AGREE!YOUR OPENINGS SUCK KID!!!
Me: Goddammit,these people get on my nerves.
Sora: Yeah,I know.
Me: OMFG SORA!?DUDE YOUR AWSOME!!!!!!
Gamer#1: OMG IT IS SORA!!!!!!!!!!
Sora: F#%k,you gamer geeks really are pathetic.
Me: Let's just get on with the show.
Sora: NO!YOU DAMN GAMER GEEKS NEED TO LEARN
REALITY ------ GAME
REALITY ------ GAME
THERE IS A LINE BETWEEN THEM DAMMIT!!!!!
Me: Sora,did you take your pills today?You know to calm yourself down...
Sora: *Pulls out a knife*
Me: Ok then,I'll stop about the pill questions.
Sora: *starts listening to Tupac*Yeah Straight Up N!!%a!West Side!This is the tight shizit!
Me: Ok,while Sora pretends he's black,our special guests...GREEN DAY!!!
Green Day: *Begin playing Wake Me Up When September Ends*
Me: Yo,Green Day.It's December...You better wake up dudes.
Green Day: Oh.*Proceed to writing a new song*
Green Day: WAKE ME UP,WHEN DECEMBER ENDS!
Me: Ok,go to sleep.
Green Day: *Fall dead asleep on the floor*
Me: Ok then...wow this is screwed up.Seriously,I can't believe that I AM writing this.This will make my grandmother hate me,kill herself,and come back again so she can kill herself yet another time.
Sora: Yo Homie,What da f#%k you talkin bout?Man,you just gotta live on da streets,smoke p0t and hang out and shoot cops.
Me: Sora,your beginning to scare me...
Sora: I should.
Random N00B Bob: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!I,RANDOM N00B BOB SHALL TAKE OVER THIS SHOW AND CLAIM WHAT IS MINE:KINGDOM HEARTS 2
Me:Seriously Bob,you gotta stop doing this.
Bob: Oh.
Me: You should go man.
Bob: Ok.Peace out man.
Me: Yep.
Me: And that concludes Today's show!Hope my grandma doesn't kill herself.Bye!
Sora: Screw you guys,my homies coming here to shoot this ma' up!
*A bunch of people run in with AK's*
Me: AHHH S#!T MAN F#%K RUN GUYS*runs away*
*Camera Drops*

 

[Iwrestledabearonce]

Day 2
Me: Ok,seeing as yesterday was really screwed up,I guess I'll introduce all the characters from the start.First Sora
Sora: Hi.
Me: Hello Sora.Next,Riku.
Riku: Heroin...
Me: Uhh...Riku you ok?
Riku: Heroin...Must have...Heroin......
Me: Ok,next Kairi.
Kairi: Ohmigod,I like,totally broke a nail.
Me: Great....Donald.
Donald: WAAAHHHHH!
Me: Goddammit.Goofy...
Goofy: A-yuck-u,not bad huh?
Me: God,kill me now.BHK
BHK: Hi.
Me: Ok,BHK I have one question.
BHK: Yes?
Me: What is your name?
BHK: I don't know yet,Tetsuya Noruma hasn't decided yet.
Me: Great.BHK for another 5 and a half days.
Me: There.Now they've all been introduced.Next episode we'll follow what happens.I think we're all done for today.
Riku: Heroin....
Kairi: Like,Ohmigod Riku totally needs like,some heroin!
Me: I've observed that....
Me: I seriously think I'm gonna kill my grandma with what I'm doing...
Grandma: *Falls Dead*
Me: Told ya.Anyways goodbye.

 

[Heartless_matenk]

wtf? wierd

 

[Iwrestledabearonce]

Yes,it is weird.That's why I enjoy making it
Day 3
*Destiny Islands*
Me:*groan*How long will I have to stay here?
Sora: RIKU GIVE ME BACK MY KEYBLADE!!!
Riku: NO!IT'S MY KEYBLADE!!!!!!!
*Sora and Riku continue arguing*
Kairi: Like,ohmigod,this is like,totally cool.
Me: GOD YOU GOTTA HELP MEEEEEE.
God: No.You have to suffer.You committed a sin!
Me: I'm sorry!I didn't mean to watch Fraiser!It just came on!
God: Well,you still have to suffer.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Suddenly,the song "Banana Phone" begins playing in my mind.
Song Voice: Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring,Banana Phone.Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring,Banana Phone.*repeats over and over*
*10 hours later*
Me: *Eye twitching,hand twitching and legs twitching*
Sora: Hey,he looks pretty bad man.
Riku: I need more...heroin.......
Kairi: Like,ohmigod we should like,totally get him to like,a hospital!
*In hospital*
Doctor: Looks like he went insane after hearing 10 hours of Banana Phone.
Sora: Dude.10 hours of that s#!tty song.I would f@%king kill someone.
Riku: Heroin....
Me: BANANA PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BANANA PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doctor: He'll be here for 3 days.
WILL BANANA PHONE GET OUT OF MY HEAD!?WILL RIKU GET MORE HEROIN!?WILL KAIRI STOP BEING A B!%&H!?FIND OUT NEXT TIME!

 

[Faith Crest]

This is hilarious! Keep it up!

 

[Iwrestledabearonce]

!!

Day 4(I did get out of the hospital,Riku got a bit more Heroin,and Kairi is still a b!%&t)
Sora: Mmmmmmmmmmmm I like Chocolate.I Luuuuuuuuuuuuv Chocolate.
Riku: Heroin...
Kairi: Like,omigod I luuuuuuv Sugar!*sings the Sugar Song*
Me: WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END!?
Sora,Riku,Kairi: Never.
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!*continues hearing Banana Phone in head*
Me: F%#k I want this song out of my f%#king head so f%#king badly I could eat a f%#king goat,and I'm only 11.
Riku: Heroin...
Dealer: Hey,kid.Need some drugs?
Riku: HEROIN!?HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOINNNNNNNNNNNNN!*screams like a monkey,jumps up and down and looks in wallet*
Riku: Caveman Riku have 10000 Pennies(100 dollars).Caveman Riku get Heroin for 10000 Pennies?
Dealer: Ok!
*hands*
Riku: HHHEEERRROOOIIINNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*screams like a spanked monkey and runs away to the Secret Place*
Sora: Go Away....
Tetsuya Noruma: Kid,stop writing this,or I will sue.
Me: But you don't even know English,so how can you sue?
Tet Nor: Hmmmm....Good Point.Guess I can't Sue.
Riku Fangirls: HEY!!!!!!!!!!RIKU ISNT ADDICTED TO HEROIN!!!!!!!STOP OR WE WILL MAUL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THUNDAGA!!!!!!!*uses Thundaga and kills the Riku Fangirls*
Mickey: YO KING MICKEY IN DA HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: *Gets angry and steals a gun and shoots Mickey in the Head*
Everyone: *Gasp Gasp OMFG OMFG Gasp*
Me: THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!STOP WITH THIS F%#KIN MADNESS!!!!!EVERYONE JUST CALM THE F%#K DOWN AND SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!*Banana Phone continues playing in head*
Everyone: But we are just having fun.
Me: *Steals Sora's Keyblade*HEHEHE I DISTRACTED HIM LONG ENOUGH BYE BYE!!!!!!!!!!*Runs away*
Sora: GIVE ME BACK MY F%#KING KEYBLADE YOU A$$HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!ILL F%#KING KILL YOU,YOU LITTLE S#!T!!!!!!!!ROT IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Runs away faster then Sora*
Next Chapter: ROXAS,Unmasked.STAY TUNED.
Brought to you by Cracka Cola.Now with 18% more Crack then before!

 

[Iwrestledabearonce]

Chapter 5-Roxas Unmasked
Me: Ok we have unmasked Roxas.He is not the goody-two-shoes he appears to be.He is....AN ORDER MEMBER!!!!!!
Choir: DUNDUNDUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: He is...AXEL's BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!
Choir: DUNDUNDUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: And he is Sora's name scrambled up with an X!
CHOIR: HUUUUUUUH!?DUNDUNDUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roxas: Where did you find out about this blashphamy?AXEL KILL THEM!!!!!!!!!!
Axel: I like fire,it's so warm.It makes my bones hate that I was born.*Continues playing Fire Song*
Me: ... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?
Roxas: ...AXEL KILL HIM!!!!!!!I COMMAND YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Axel: NO IM SINGING THE FIRE SONG!!!!!!!!!!*Continues singing*
Roxas: GRRRRRRRRRR GODDAMMIT AXEL!!!!!!!!!
Rand0m N00b B0b: HAHAHAHAHAHA I AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Bob,seriously you gotta leave this set....
Rand0m N00b B0b: *Slouches and walks away*
Sora: Im off to go to the Chocolate Shop,The Chocolate Shop,The Chocolate Shop*Continues singing the Chocolate Song*
Me: *cries from frustration*WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!WHY DID I WATCH FRAISER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHY GOD,WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?
God: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!
Me: I am so sad that I ever watched that show.................
Roxas: KILL THEM LARXENE!!!!!!!!!!
Me:Larxene is dead...
Roxas: O.O WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?OK MARLUXIA KILL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: He's dead too.
Roxas: >_< VEXEN KILL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Even him...
Roxas: #_# ROXAS KILL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Eh?
Roxas: OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*Makes Oathkeeper and Oblivion appear*
Me: EEEEEEEEEEEEK!*Anger fills with fear,making Angar**Makes Kingdom Key and Ultima Weapon appear*Let's go b!#&t.
And so,Roxas and I fought for days.To no avail.
Me: ILL KILL YOU ROXAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roxas: NO ILL KILL YOU...*stops*uhh whats your name?
Me: Ohhh uhhhhhhh.CLASSIFIED INFO!!!!!!!!!!!
Roxas: Ok....NO ILL KILL YOU CLASSIFIED INFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Keyblades meet,eventually...*
*I slice Oblivion away,and overpower him as he only uses Oathkeeper*
Roxas: You win....KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!
Me: No you f@%king Emo.*steals Oathkeeper and Oblivion keychains*
Roxas: HEY F@%KER GIVE THOSE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: NEVER!!!!!!!!*turns Ultima and Kingdom into Oath and Obliv*
Roxas: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Axel: I like fire,it's so warm.It makes my bones hate that I was born!And I like Porn! HEY THAT DAMN KID ADDED THAT TO THE FIRE SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Uh oh.*Runs off*NEXT TIME,ME AND SORA DUEL IT OUT TO SEE WHO IS THE TRUE MASTER DUEL WEILDER KEYBLADE PERSON!!!!!!
Riku: Heroin............



Proud Ninja of the Night

 

[Eva]

HAHAHAAHA!...F@#%! *falls off chair* Damn! That's Soooo funny! ^.^

 

[Puppet Master]

WTF LOL this is soo funny keep it up!

 

[Oberon]

=D

Derek your humor is epic at just 11 years old! GO YOU!

*reps*

 

[Enchanted Rose]

*reps*

I love Random n00b Bob - he's the pinnacle of all hilarity!

 

[TheLastKnight]

it was very nice, I liked it.

 

[Enchanted Rose]

Can we expect a new chapter soon?

 

[Oberon]

Yeah another chapter ftw!

 

[Iwrestledabearonce]

Fine. Day Five shall be written, however reluctantly. This is hella old.

Me: Well, it's been about one year eight months since I last posted in this. Amazing how time flies.
Riku: HEROINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Me: Yes Riku, heroin is wonderful. Anyways, I now have more skills in grammar and literacy, so this will be written better. . . I hope.
Kairi: LIKE HOMAHGAWD WHY'D YOU REVIVE THIS? LOOOOSER.
Me: I seriously hate the idea that I have to revive this. But thanks to George and Naomi, I do.
Sora: HEY BITCH WE GOTTA DUEL IT OUT!
Me: Why?
Sora: TO SEE WHO THE TRUE MASTER OF THE KEYBLADE IS!!!!!!
Me: Okay.
Sora: *pulls out Keyblade* TIME TO PWN YOU LAMER!
Me: *pulls out Yu-Gi-Oh cards*
Sora: . . . Whaaaaaa?
Me: BLUE-EYES, WHITE DRAGON! GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Random Yu-Gi-Oh Character: YOU NEED TO SACRAFICE TWO CARDS TO SUMMON THAT MONSTER!
Me: . . . Shit. *throws cards away* I HATE YU-GI-OH ANYWAYS!
Sora: WE STILL HAVE TO FIGHT!
Me: No. *hands Riku Heroin, throws Kairi in a closet, steals Sora's Keyblade*
Riku: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Kairi: *muffled screams heard from the closet*
Sora: HEY, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
Me: I'm the author. I can do whatever I want to. *freezes Axel* Voila. Fire my ass.
Boss: YOUR ASS IS FIRED!
Me: Woooooooooah. Random.
Riku: Sora, I love you. *proceeds to attempt to kiss Sora*
Sora: *gives me an incredulous look* I THOUGHT YOU HATED FANFICS WITH YAOI IN THEM!
Me: Well, I DO, but I can't help resist this. It's hilarious.
*Riku and Sora proceed to make out*
Kairi: *randomly appears beside Sora and Riku in their making-out session* LIKE, HOMAHGAWD, HE'S LIKE, TOTALLY MY BOYFRIEND. *punches Riku, makes out with Sora*
Me: Wow. Things are heating up on Survivor: Destiny Islands.
Group: IT'S KINGDOM HEARTS REALITY SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Right, right. Kingdom Hearts Reality Show. Sure.

NEXT TIME! Guest Appearances: George, Naomi, Jerome, And BOB MAKES A COMEBACK!

CROSSOVER EPISODE! DEATH NOTE CHARACTERS WILL PLAY A ROLE! NEXT TIME, ON KINGDOM HEARTS REALITY SHOW!

Random N00b Bob: KEKEKEKEKE MY COMEBACK IS INEVITABLE!
Me: No, seriously Bob. Wait until next episode.
Random N00b Bob: Awwwww. *walks off sadly*

 

[Oberon]

Epic.

Good job. :'D

 

[Enchanted Rose]

More than epic.

I'm dying for the next chapter. Lol.

 

[Sophia Esteed]

Normally script-form fics (even some humor ones) suck, but this is PWNAGE. Next chapter pl0x!!

 

[Iwrestledabearonce]

OOC: Yippie Ki-Yay. Next Chapter. This is kinda short, edit in the morning with FULL chapter. Essentially a late-night filler. =D

DaY SiX - THIS TITLE HAS BEEN HI-JACKED BY BOB!!!!!

Me: Wait, whaaaaaaa-?
Random N00B Bob: HA! I HAVE MADE A COMEBACK! AND NOW I'LL BE TAKING OVER YOUR SHOW DEREK!
Me: Vanderfaul (Note: German Accent FTW!). Anyways, the new KH games were announced. KH: Code-Some-Random-Shit-I-Can't-Remember, KH: 358/2, and KH: BBS. KH Fans over the world rejoice.
KH Fans: *rejoicing*
Me: See, what did I tell you. Well, anyways, this is a special episode. Light Yagami, L, Misa Amane, Naomi, George, and Jerome are all comin' onto the show! LET'S GIVE THEM A BIG DESTINY ISLANDS WELCOME!!!!!!!!!
*silence*
Me: . . . . . . Way to go people. Anyways, yeah, here we are.
L: LIGHT YAGAMI IS KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Light: MY NAME IS RAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITO.
Misa: I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE RAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITO-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.
Me: What the hell is with the shouting?
L, Raito, Misa: We don't know.
Me: . . . *melts somewhat*
Random N00B Bob: *runs in with an AK-47* TIME TO KILL YOU ALL!!!!! *shoots Raito*
Me: Oh well. Raito died anyways.
Crowd: *gasp* WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?!?!?!?!?!
Me: What, you want me to lie, and say he lives? That would be goin' against God.
Crowd: SO IS THE SWEARING!!!!!!!
Me: . . . . Shit, got me there.
Naomi, George, Jerome: Are we even needed here?
Me: Eh. Just good to have people to fill in the blanks.
Naomi: I AM TOTALLY THE MOST POPULAR KHI MEMBER AND EVERYONE LOVES ME AAAAAAAAAAAND I RULE FORUM INSANITY. HAHAHAHA.
George: Lol Bleach pwnz D:<
Jerome: I love music. MUUUSIC IS WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.
Me: Wow, I hate this job.
L: RAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITO-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD.
Misa: *off in a corner, crying and mourning*
Me: HOLY CRAP WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THIS?!?!
Random *Chan Member: DO A BARREL ROLL! *fades away*
Me: Technical problems folks! WE'LL BE BACK IN BETWEEN FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY-FOUR HOURS.
Random *Chan Member: POOLS CLOSED!!!! *fades away*
Random N00B Bob: I. . . . WILL. . . . WINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Me: JESUS CHRIST CUT TO COMMERCIAL!


Be prepared for the morning edit. It will be scaly.

EDIT TIME!

Me: We're back from that. . . . *ahem* TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY.
Soulja Boy: YAH BITCH YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
Me: Okay. This is going to give me a tumor, or something. Like, I can't deal with this.
Random N00B Bob: HAHAHAHAHA I'M BACK!
Me: . . . You were gone?
Random N00B Bob: . . . . . . . . . . . . You didn't hear anything. . .
Me: I'm glad I didn't. Anyways, I th-
George: I HAVE A CONFESSION!!!!!
Jerome, Naomi, and Me: WHAT IS IT GEORGE?!?!?!?!?!?!
George: I LOVE RANDOM N00B BOB!!!!!!!!!!!
Random N00B Bob: Awww, I love you too, George.
*George and Random N00B Bob run off into a closet*
Entire Audiance: O_________________O
Me: . . . Kekeke. Let's go open the closet.
*runs and opens the closet*
Me: OH EWWWW AWWWWW HOW COULD YOU?!
George, Random N00B Bob: How could we what?
Me: BE PLAYING CHECKERS?! CHESS IS FAR MORE INTELLECTUAL. *grabs nerdy glasses and textbook* Srsly gaiz, itz totali kool.
Random N00B Bob: I'M STILL TAKING OVER THE SHOW! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Me: Okay Bob. Well, uhmmmm. I guess I should tell you something about myself deeply personal. When I wa-
Random N00B Bob: SHUT UP! I OWN THIS SHOW NOW! WOO-HOO! *grabs microphone* GET READY TO PARTY, Y'ALL!
*group of random people run in and start partying*
Me: I feel. . . something strange. Something I haven't felt in a long time. . . . .
*Slowly, the mysterious thing begins to become clear. . .*
RING RING RING RING RING RING RING RING, BANANA PHONE! BODOPADOPADOPA!
Me: OH GOD NO. NO. NONONO. NOT AGAIN. NOT EVER AGAIN.
Sora: Dude, we weren't even in this episode.
Riku: Heroin. . . . Heroinnnnnnn. . .
Kairi: LIKE, HOMAHGAWD, SERIOUSLY, COOOOOOOOL!
Me: *Banana Phone continues playing* OH GOD NO. PLEASE. NO. GOD, LISTEN TO ME. I PRAY TO YOU. PLEASE DON'T PUT THIS IN MY HEAD AGAIN.
God: Hey. It's in my plan for you.
Me: *eye twitch* *insane-voice-tiemz* HEY GUYS. IF A CANOE IS PARKED IN A TREE WITH IT'S HEADLIGHTS ON, HOW MANY PANCAKES DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE MOON?
Group: Whaaaaaaaa-?
Me: NONE 'CAUSE SNAKES DON'T HAVE ARMPITS. KEKEKEKEKEKE THAT ONE IS ALWAYS FUNNY.
Group: Time to go to the Cuckoo-House.
Me: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK FIDDLES, AFTER I SHOWER MY PANTS DOWN WITH ANTHRAX-INFESTED TRAILERS.



NEXT WEEK: I enter the insane house. WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?!

NEW STORY ARC: Insanity Is Fine, As Long As It Has A Side-Order Of Muffins.

 

[Enchanted Rose]

You didn't edit did you?

I'm disappointed with you Derek.