Sup KHI, this is Hokage reporting in as your favorite Kingdom Hearts negro and this week I'm interviewing a very good friend of mine and administrator of these very forums, TheMuffinMan also known as Chris by people that are cool, wise and overall awesome..unlike you people. But I disgress, please enjoy this interview and the wisdom shared by the greatest Muffinman there ever was.
Hokage: Sup bro, how's it going?
Chris: If I wanted to be the cool guy that I clearly am I'd go ahead and print you a picture of me lounging in my large satin stitched armchair by a blazing fire with my two albino tigerbearsharks, puffing a cherry wood pipe the size of a didgeridoo in nothing but my edible underoos and say that's all you need to know... but nah if I want to be serious at all I'd have to say things are kinda up and down, pretty typical stuff, it's just starting to feel like the weight of life in general just starting to catch up with me, haha. I've had stuff too easy and laid-back for awhile, I suppose.
Hokage: Hahaha, niggas don't know bout them albino tigerbearsharks. I feel ya though. Shit is getting tough with us growing up and shit. Makes me miss the days of old when we used to talk about Kingdom Hearts.. haha not really. Life is just hitting a nigga with a freeze pop is all that is. CHI CITY MANE.
Hokage: So what every one wishes to know, What in God's name brought you to KHI (and actually stay here lol) and inspired you to actually put the Kingdom Hearts Disc in your PS2?
Chris: Funny thing about putting the Kingdom Hearts disc in my PS2 is that it was never allowed to leave my PS2 once it was in there. I didn't have a memory card at the time, and I didn't want to lose my progress, so I actually left my PS2 running day and night for weeks while I played through the game, because I couldn't save at all. My PS2 was running so hot there was probably nuclear fission taking place between load screens.
Reading the other interviews it seems like most people were brought to KHI through other people or forums, though for me KHI was actually my first forum (through my own means of googlesearch), and it was the first place I bothered to stick around and build up a status at all. So I started out in the KH sections like most, and quickly realizing that I was smarter and had better ideas than most everyone else I spent my time ruining other peoples theories. I liked arguing with other people, so I moved to other parts of KHI just for the sake of arguing with other people, and made my way into the KHI chatroom, and from there was my rabithole into internet culture in general.
Hokage: Haha, I did the same thing with Final Fantasy X. My mom didn't understand the importance of a memory card and didn't buy me one until my birthday. Hated dying and having to start all over. Parents just don't understand. Crazy how similar our stories are. I met you, doing your theory busting and that's a great thing since we've been cool ever since. The chat, yeah, that place is like my second home. Feels like I "internet grew up there"
Hokage: What are your impressions of the future of our generation through based on the members of KHI we have now?
Chris:Oh god solely from KHI's members? Just from that I'd say our future consists of insufferable impressionable man-children who have no ability to cope with life's problems at all, and couldn't relay an intelligent or coherent thought any easier than I could a kidney stone the size of the hybrid SUVs their mothers drive them to the Hot Topic in. Though that's just from the Kingdom Hearts community. Luckily I've encountered a sizable enough group of intelligent people from "this generation", both in my real life and through various sects of the internet like KHI's chatroom, to atleast hold small fleeting hopes for the future.
Hokage: Yes, sadly that is the case. Never have I met so many idiots and never have I cherished the small amount of intelligence this forum sometimes brings. also hybrid SUV lol.
Hokage: Now as you may recall, I've been on a crusade to show people that Simple and Clean is a song about rape..what are your views on this song and it's implied topic of raping children?
Chris: Well I don't know about that. Take it from me, kids, nothing is ever as "simple" or "clean" as you think it would be when forced unrequited sex is involved. Now I'm not saying it's all bad, rape solves many problems in this world...such as the problem of you wanting to have sex with someone and them not letting you. I mean, what kind of bullshit is that? Are you just supposed to not have sex with them? Ha ha ha! No no, that would be silly
Hokage: Even Mr. Chi City could not have said that better.
Hokage: Remember back in 2005, when we joined another forum by the name of Gaming Revolution and went through our big adventure there? Give the readers a bit of a summary of your experience during that moment.
Chris: Haha, that's certainly going back. Hell, just reading "2005" makes me feel so old. God damn, we're only 3 years away from the apocalypse now, aren't we? Well, fiery doom and damnation to unending torture in a pit of fire for us all aside.
Gaming Revolution is probably the best bit of KHI drama that I've been around to experience. Basically, KHI used to be run by a wonderful Canadian (and therefore, alcoholic) by the pseudonym of "The Midnighter", who established the long-standing tradition of KHI's admins never doing anything for anyone.
Anyway, along comes this brodude who says that he is The Midnighter's older brother, and that he used to be The Midnighter and simply gave his brother the username to use and run KHI while he was gone. So, here he was to tell everyone about his fantastical new site called Gaming Revolution, and that we could be Moderators and double our penis sizes and tales of how hot Latino women were wet and waiting for us.
Clearly the only option for me and my partner (by name of Dr. Jose Amore) was to accept immediately! I mean, he sounded so legitimate right??? Gaming Revolution kept to it's name and started a small revolution amongst KHI's members, starting all kinds of drama and threats against the site and it's horrible corrupt staff (sound familiar?)
Long story short, my partner in crime and I got tired of it, and in a giddy midnight MSN conversation, used our Administrator powers at Gaming Revolution to go into the Control Panel and delete their entire forums and site, pretending there was nothing we could do to stop this "master hacker" from destroying Impostor The Midnighter's poor website.
Hokage:The majority of the people who remember him realized the fake Midnighter was a douchebag, can you remember one thing that sticks out that you believe was his most hilarious moment?
Chris: Haha, well when you've fabricated yourself a story that you're the older brother of some guy on the internet you've never met and that you're gonna go give him a noogie if he doesn't give KHI back to him, every moment is really a blast. I suppose the best part was that this guy was a complete whackadoo, and would completely flip shit one second and fire us all for not making his website enough of a success, and then 15 minutes later come back and promote us to a higher position of power. This sequence of events happens about 3 whole times before finally all he could do was make us Head Administrators on his website, and well, I already explained what we did for him as a thanks for that hehe.
Hokage: We all know you're into games, be it DS or emulation or even Brawl (pro Broler). What's your story in your interest in games. What makes vidya games so appealing to you?
Chris: My introduction into games was probably one that you would think would have the least likeliness to leave an impression on me at all, but my first console was a Sega Saturn. Raise of hands who actually knows when the Sega Saturn was actually a relevant piece of hardware? Oh, and Sega's awesome sashay into the handheld market: The Sega Gamegear, which ate up 6 AA batteries for 4 hours of play.
Strangely enough, I really just loved any game I could get for either of these systems. I had Sonic & Knuckles on my Game Gear, some Kung-Fu game I loved that had no fucking save system and I would start the whole thing over again every single time I turned it on holy shit why did I do that was I retarded oh wait yes I was, MLB baseball where all the players were pixel ants except when their picture came up for them batting.
And on my Sega Saturn, Sonic 3D (which was an abomination that I still loved) , Mr. Bones that had 4 CDs and I never even got past Disc 1 because it was hard as dick, and Virtua On motherfuckin robot fighting gundam laser sword battles and shit that I would skip school saying I had a headache so that I could play
I've just always loved gammin and playing gams for gammers, and it helps that I'm usually just naturally good at whichever ones I pick up (except rhythm and music games, I blame the fact that I'm a honky. Oh, and Starcraft. Fuck you Ken wtf you have 5 bases already what the fuck I only have 2 also how do I shoot boolets aw now i'm ded)
Hokage: Fuck yeah, I had a Sega Saturn, but someone stole that shit... niggas in those days were ruthless.. but I'm getting off topic.
Hokage: Any games you have to recommend, regardless of console choice?
Chris: Nothing on the PStripple, becuz u kno, HAZ NO GAMMS, L.M.A.O
DD. But nah, THE TREY is alright, even if it does make me want to fry up breakfast sausage in it and KNOCK DA FAT© outta my food using the patented grease-trapping tray and no-stick surface.
Hokage: GEORGE FOREMAN IN THIS MOTHAFUCKA.
Chris: What I'm really into at the moment is Lock's Quest for the Nintendo DS. This seems to have flown under a lot of people's radar despite good reviews, it's a defend-your-castle sorta strategy RPG with a stupid story that I'm completely ignoring because I just love buildin fuckin acid traps and setting up SANTREES to kill hoards of stupid enemies. Play it fags.
Hokage: Now we've known each other for almost 4 years now, both starting out from just regular members and becoming moderators of the forums and hell even admin for you. Any advice you wanna give the future generation of KHI staff?
Chris: Well, one of the most strangely hilarious things I've ever heard uttered would be from, I believe, Son of Sam in one of our many Skype conversations (not so much any more, we should do more of them, sir). In a conversation I can hardly remember what we were talking about, and in a southern drawl he said: "You sure got a pretty mouth, boy"
And that's what I'd like to say to any future blood of KHI: if you've got a pretty mouth, you'll be going places in this administration. Ladies, this is a life lesson in general for you.
Hokage: Tru dat. Good shit bro, we should totally play some Garou later on. B. Jenet..YAHOOO PEW PEW
Chris: ALL YUU OOKAY? BUSTA WOOOOLF. By the way, have you noticed how B. Jenet starts off with all of those sailors before a match? Like they all just got done plowing her or something. What the hell, I main a whore.
Hokage: Don't worry I main C Viper in SFIV, and she's currently hot on the trail of Chun Li when it comes to hentai doujins.
Hokage: Last but not least, any last thing you wanna say to the niggas out there reading this? Piece of advice, shoutouts, or maybe just to tell them they all suck. Either one works.
Chris:Haha, I never look forward to questions that leave it up to you to just say something or leave some sort of final message, I need proper direction! Come on man, be my shepherd. I am your flock, you are my Black Jesus. Jesus me up. (fun fact, this phrase gets you free drinks at Neverland Ranch, and a free trip to Michael's bed chambers)
Hokage: KOOL-AID NIGGA WHUT FLAVA YA WANT!
Chris: But yeah, I dunno, I'd say just don't take stuff too seriously. People are way too stressed and make themselves unhappy about the stupidest shit, people just need to not be so serious about everything. If you can try and find something twisted and hilarious in just about anything you encounter in the world, I'd say it helps in just being a tiny bit happier in life.
Hokage: Good shit bro, thanks for your time and your wisdom. This is Hokage and TheMuffinMan signing out.
Chris: Good thing, cause a NIGGA JUST MADE A PIZZA.
Hokage: Sup bro, how's it going?
Chris: If I wanted to be the cool guy that I clearly am I'd go ahead and print you a picture of me lounging in my large satin stitched armchair by a blazing fire with my two albino tigerbearsharks, puffing a cherry wood pipe the size of a didgeridoo in nothing but my edible underoos and say that's all you need to know... but nah if I want to be serious at all I'd have to say things are kinda up and down, pretty typical stuff, it's just starting to feel like the weight of life in general just starting to catch up with me, haha. I've had stuff too easy and laid-back for awhile, I suppose.
Hokage: Hahaha, niggas don't know bout them albino tigerbearsharks. I feel ya though. Shit is getting tough with us growing up and shit. Makes me miss the days of old when we used to talk about Kingdom Hearts.. haha not really. Life is just hitting a nigga with a freeze pop is all that is. CHI CITY MANE.
Hokage: So what every one wishes to know, What in God's name brought you to KHI (and actually stay here lol) and inspired you to actually put the Kingdom Hearts Disc in your PS2?
Chris: Funny thing about putting the Kingdom Hearts disc in my PS2 is that it was never allowed to leave my PS2 once it was in there. I didn't have a memory card at the time, and I didn't want to lose my progress, so I actually left my PS2 running day and night for weeks while I played through the game, because I couldn't save at all. My PS2 was running so hot there was probably nuclear fission taking place between load screens.
Reading the other interviews it seems like most people were brought to KHI through other people or forums, though for me KHI was actually my first forum (through my own means of googlesearch), and it was the first place I bothered to stick around and build up a status at all. So I started out in the KH sections like most, and quickly realizing that I was smarter and had better ideas than most everyone else I spent my time ruining other peoples theories. I liked arguing with other people, so I moved to other parts of KHI just for the sake of arguing with other people, and made my way into the KHI chatroom, and from there was my rabithole into internet culture in general.
Hokage: Haha, I did the same thing with Final Fantasy X. My mom didn't understand the importance of a memory card and didn't buy me one until my birthday. Hated dying and having to start all over. Parents just don't understand. Crazy how similar our stories are. I met you, doing your theory busting and that's a great thing since we've been cool ever since. The chat, yeah, that place is like my second home. Feels like I "internet grew up there"
Hokage: What are your impressions of the future of our generation through based on the members of KHI we have now?
Chris:Oh god solely from KHI's members? Just from that I'd say our future consists of insufferable impressionable man-children who have no ability to cope with life's problems at all, and couldn't relay an intelligent or coherent thought any easier than I could a kidney stone the size of the hybrid SUVs their mothers drive them to the Hot Topic in. Though that's just from the Kingdom Hearts community. Luckily I've encountered a sizable enough group of intelligent people from "this generation", both in my real life and through various sects of the internet like KHI's chatroom, to atleast hold small fleeting hopes for the future.
Hokage: Yes, sadly that is the case. Never have I met so many idiots and never have I cherished the small amount of intelligence this forum sometimes brings. also hybrid SUV lol.
Hokage: Now as you may recall, I've been on a crusade to show people that Simple and Clean is a song about rape..what are your views on this song and it's implied topic of raping children?
Chris: Well I don't know about that. Take it from me, kids, nothing is ever as "simple" or "clean" as you think it would be when forced unrequited sex is involved. Now I'm not saying it's all bad, rape solves many problems in this world...such as the problem of you wanting to have sex with someone and them not letting you. I mean, what kind of bullshit is that? Are you just supposed to not have sex with them? Ha ha ha! No no, that would be silly
Hokage: Even Mr. Chi City could not have said that better.
Hokage: Remember back in 2005, when we joined another forum by the name of Gaming Revolution and went through our big adventure there? Give the readers a bit of a summary of your experience during that moment.
Chris: Haha, that's certainly going back. Hell, just reading "2005" makes me feel so old. God damn, we're only 3 years away from the apocalypse now, aren't we? Well, fiery doom and damnation to unending torture in a pit of fire for us all aside.
Gaming Revolution is probably the best bit of KHI drama that I've been around to experience. Basically, KHI used to be run by a wonderful Canadian (and therefore, alcoholic) by the pseudonym of "The Midnighter", who established the long-standing tradition of KHI's admins never doing anything for anyone.
Anyway, along comes this brodude who says that he is The Midnighter's older brother, and that he used to be The Midnighter and simply gave his brother the username to use and run KHI while he was gone. So, here he was to tell everyone about his fantastical new site called Gaming Revolution, and that we could be Moderators and double our penis sizes and tales of how hot Latino women were wet and waiting for us.
Clearly the only option for me and my partner (by name of Dr. Jose Amore) was to accept immediately! I mean, he sounded so legitimate right??? Gaming Revolution kept to it's name and started a small revolution amongst KHI's members, starting all kinds of drama and threats against the site and it's horrible corrupt staff (sound familiar?)
Long story short, my partner in crime and I got tired of it, and in a giddy midnight MSN conversation, used our Administrator powers at Gaming Revolution to go into the Control Panel and delete their entire forums and site, pretending there was nothing we could do to stop this "master hacker" from destroying Impostor The Midnighter's poor website.
Hokage:The majority of the people who remember him realized the fake Midnighter was a douchebag, can you remember one thing that sticks out that you believe was his most hilarious moment?
Chris: Haha, well when you've fabricated yourself a story that you're the older brother of some guy on the internet you've never met and that you're gonna go give him a noogie if he doesn't give KHI back to him, every moment is really a blast. I suppose the best part was that this guy was a complete whackadoo, and would completely flip shit one second and fire us all for not making his website enough of a success, and then 15 minutes later come back and promote us to a higher position of power. This sequence of events happens about 3 whole times before finally all he could do was make us Head Administrators on his website, and well, I already explained what we did for him as a thanks for that hehe.
Hokage: We all know you're into games, be it DS or emulation or even Brawl (pro Broler). What's your story in your interest in games. What makes vidya games so appealing to you?
Chris: My introduction into games was probably one that you would think would have the least likeliness to leave an impression on me at all, but my first console was a Sega Saturn. Raise of hands who actually knows when the Sega Saturn was actually a relevant piece of hardware? Oh, and Sega's awesome sashay into the handheld market: The Sega Gamegear, which ate up 6 AA batteries for 4 hours of play.
Strangely enough, I really just loved any game I could get for either of these systems. I had Sonic & Knuckles on my Game Gear, some Kung-Fu game I loved that had no fucking save system and I would start the whole thing over again every single time I turned it on holy shit why did I do that was I retarded oh wait yes I was, MLB baseball where all the players were pixel ants except when their picture came up for them batting.
And on my Sega Saturn, Sonic 3D (which was an abomination that I still loved) , Mr. Bones that had 4 CDs and I never even got past Disc 1 because it was hard as dick, and Virtua On motherfuckin robot fighting gundam laser sword battles and shit that I would skip school saying I had a headache so that I could play
I've just always loved gammin and playing gams for gammers, and it helps that I'm usually just naturally good at whichever ones I pick up (except rhythm and music games, I blame the fact that I'm a honky. Oh, and Starcraft. Fuck you Ken wtf you have 5 bases already what the fuck I only have 2 also how do I shoot boolets aw now i'm ded)
Hokage: Fuck yeah, I had a Sega Saturn, but someone stole that shit... niggas in those days were ruthless.. but I'm getting off topic.
Hokage: Any games you have to recommend, regardless of console choice?
Chris: Nothing on the PStripple, becuz u kno, HAZ NO GAMMS, L.M.A.O
DD. But nah, THE TREY is alright, even if it does make me want to fry up breakfast sausage in it and KNOCK DA FAT© outta my food using the patented grease-trapping tray and no-stick surface.Hokage: GEORGE FOREMAN IN THIS MOTHAFUCKA.
Chris: What I'm really into at the moment is Lock's Quest for the Nintendo DS. This seems to have flown under a lot of people's radar despite good reviews, it's a defend-your-castle sorta strategy RPG with a stupid story that I'm completely ignoring because I just love buildin fuckin acid traps and setting up SANTREES to kill hoards of stupid enemies. Play it fags.
Hokage: Now we've known each other for almost 4 years now, both starting out from just regular members and becoming moderators of the forums and hell even admin for you. Any advice you wanna give the future generation of KHI staff?
Chris: Well, one of the most strangely hilarious things I've ever heard uttered would be from, I believe, Son of Sam in one of our many Skype conversations (not so much any more, we should do more of them, sir). In a conversation I can hardly remember what we were talking about, and in a southern drawl he said: "You sure got a pretty mouth, boy"
And that's what I'd like to say to any future blood of KHI: if you've got a pretty mouth, you'll be going places in this administration. Ladies, this is a life lesson in general for you.
Hokage: Tru dat. Good shit bro, we should totally play some Garou later on. B. Jenet..YAHOOO PEW PEW
Chris: ALL YUU OOKAY? BUSTA WOOOOLF. By the way, have you noticed how B. Jenet starts off with all of those sailors before a match? Like they all just got done plowing her or something. What the hell, I main a whore.
Hokage: Don't worry I main C Viper in SFIV, and she's currently hot on the trail of Chun Li when it comes to hentai doujins.
Hokage: Last but not least, any last thing you wanna say to the niggas out there reading this? Piece of advice, shoutouts, or maybe just to tell them they all suck. Either one works.
Chris:Haha, I never look forward to questions that leave it up to you to just say something or leave some sort of final message, I need proper direction! Come on man, be my shepherd. I am your flock, you are my Black Jesus. Jesus me up. (fun fact, this phrase gets you free drinks at Neverland Ranch, and a free trip to Michael's bed chambers)
Hokage: KOOL-AID NIGGA WHUT FLAVA YA WANT!
Chris: But yeah, I dunno, I'd say just don't take stuff too seriously. People are way too stressed and make themselves unhappy about the stupidest shit, people just need to not be so serious about everything. If you can try and find something twisted and hilarious in just about anything you encounter in the world, I'd say it helps in just being a tiny bit happier in life.
Hokage: Good shit bro, thanks for your time and your wisdom. This is Hokage and TheMuffinMan signing out.
Chris: Good thing, cause a NIGGA JUST MADE A PIZZA.
