Hey y'alls. This is Deeman, yep. I never thought I'd post a thread like this, but considering that a great majority of you give out helpful advice, I decided to post my issue/or my thoughts in here. I apologize for the massive post. For those of you who don't want to read it all, then don't. And if you don't read it, don't post. You need to know the situation completely before giving some advice.
So, what's the problem, you may ask? Well, some of you already know. A girl problem. Typical, huh?
I'm your average fifteen year old, lost in the life of love. I go to church, to seminary class, and to French class, while all the while I home school. Like the word homeschooling implies, I do my work at home.
I've had crushes on girls that have come and gone, some staying longer than others. Each time ended up with me always getting over the girl. But now, since I'm "older", having a crush feels much more than just a crush.
So there's this girl. She goes to the same church as I, attends Seminary classes with me, and has a fully devoted boyfriend. She's a beautiful person on the outside and inside, with a bright personality and cheery character. She's 16 while her boyfriend is almost 19.
You know what's coming, don't you? Haha, yep. You guessed it.
I like her.
These feelings started quite a while ago, maybe even before she got her boyfriend. And over time these feelings developed. I like her a lot, and I wish I could let her know that. I thought, oh I did think, that these feelings would evaporate over time, but they haven't. Oh no, they're up there more than ever.
You can probably guess the problem as well, huh?
She has a boyfriend. A boyfriend I can tell she cares for. So, you may ask, why do I bother to continue liking her? That's another issue. I can't. When I try to, these feelings only become stronger. I constantly find myself looking in her direction or wanting to be around her. When she's with her boyfriend, it pains me to see them interact with each other. Jealousy much? Yep, that's right. I'm a jealous fool lost in love.
She's a beautiful person, but she can also be a bit misleading. She tends to "flirt" sometimes. Yeah, I know, strange. It baffles me. Like take a couple weeks ago, for instance. I was sitting between her and her sister in the car and they both wanted to listen to my iPod; as a result, the girl I like had to move closer to me to reach the ear phone. After doing so, she proceeds to rest her head on my shoulder, tapping my knee. Oh, the feeling was wonderful, having a girl you like rest her head on your shoulder. But it was also confusing. Did she mean it? Was this flirting or just something that girls do to guys they don't like?
Now, currently, things haven't really changed. In fact, the situation has gotten more intense on my part. This girl, I can't get her out of my mind. Whenever I think of her, I have this satisfying tingle in my upper chest, and whenever I see her, I can't help but smile. I thought things would calm down, but no. Not at all. And my jealousy for her boyfriend has increased as well. This may seem selfish, and I'm sure it is, but I wish they'd just break up sooner or later.
Anywho, last night, I had a dream. One of the best dreams I've ever had. It was unbelievably real.
A part of the dream had me inside a kitchen with that girl I like and her friend. I think we're washing dishes together... not sure. Anyway, on to the point, she turns around to me and says something along the lines of this:
"I think it's time for your first kiss."
And we kiss. The reality of it was overwhelming. I thought I had fainted.
So the first part of the dream really got to me. I was extremely upset when I realized none of this happened. I'm pissed.
Now, okay, moving on to this morning. She goes to a seminary class with me, and this morning, she stared me down; literally. She wouldn't stop. I looked at her. She was looking at me. So I turned my head away, pretending not to notice. I could feel her eyes burn into my skin. That warm, nerve-racking sensation swelled up inside of me and I dared to see if she was still looking. Oh yes, she was. My friend, who was sitting beside me, then precedes to ask me a question. Completely taken aback by the situation, I had no words to respond with and when I did say something, my voice was unusually hoarse. Finally, she looks down at the table in front of her. She appeared deep in thought for a moment...
I've noticed that she tends to catch my eye more often now. Is it because I myself want her to look at me and notice these glances more than I should? am I thinking wrongly when I think she might have some feelings for me?
I don't understand! I think it's just my imagination playing tricks on me. I just like her so much that if she even looks at me for a second, I'll think she has something for me.
This situation rips and tears and my emotions. I want to have my way, I just do. But I can't... and I can only hope she has some feelings for me down inside. And that, I do not know.
My sister also told me that girls tend to go for guys who are older than them. Is that true? If so, then I probably don't stand a chance.
Wow, this is long. If you read this, cudos to you. I'll appreciate any comment given to me.
So here's my question:
Should I pursue this girl and try to start something with her, letting things play out naturally? If not, how do I get over her?
So, what's the problem, you may ask? Well, some of you already know. A girl problem. Typical, huh?
I'm your average fifteen year old, lost in the life of love. I go to church, to seminary class, and to French class, while all the while I home school. Like the word homeschooling implies, I do my work at home.
I've had crushes on girls that have come and gone, some staying longer than others. Each time ended up with me always getting over the girl. But now, since I'm "older", having a crush feels much more than just a crush.
So there's this girl. She goes to the same church as I, attends Seminary classes with me, and has a fully devoted boyfriend. She's a beautiful person on the outside and inside, with a bright personality and cheery character. She's 16 while her boyfriend is almost 19.
You know what's coming, don't you? Haha, yep. You guessed it.
I like her.
These feelings started quite a while ago, maybe even before she got her boyfriend. And over time these feelings developed. I like her a lot, and I wish I could let her know that. I thought, oh I did think, that these feelings would evaporate over time, but they haven't. Oh no, they're up there more than ever.
You can probably guess the problem as well, huh?
She has a boyfriend. A boyfriend I can tell she cares for. So, you may ask, why do I bother to continue liking her? That's another issue. I can't. When I try to, these feelings only become stronger. I constantly find myself looking in her direction or wanting to be around her. When she's with her boyfriend, it pains me to see them interact with each other. Jealousy much? Yep, that's right. I'm a jealous fool lost in love.
She's a beautiful person, but she can also be a bit misleading. She tends to "flirt" sometimes. Yeah, I know, strange. It baffles me. Like take a couple weeks ago, for instance. I was sitting between her and her sister in the car and they both wanted to listen to my iPod; as a result, the girl I like had to move closer to me to reach the ear phone. After doing so, she proceeds to rest her head on my shoulder, tapping my knee. Oh, the feeling was wonderful, having a girl you like rest her head on your shoulder. But it was also confusing. Did she mean it? Was this flirting or just something that girls do to guys they don't like?
Now, currently, things haven't really changed. In fact, the situation has gotten more intense on my part. This girl, I can't get her out of my mind. Whenever I think of her, I have this satisfying tingle in my upper chest, and whenever I see her, I can't help but smile. I thought things would calm down, but no. Not at all. And my jealousy for her boyfriend has increased as well. This may seem selfish, and I'm sure it is, but I wish they'd just break up sooner or later.
Anywho, last night, I had a dream. One of the best dreams I've ever had. It was unbelievably real.
A part of the dream had me inside a kitchen with that girl I like and her friend. I think we're washing dishes together... not sure. Anyway, on to the point, she turns around to me and says something along the lines of this:
"I think it's time for your first kiss."
And we kiss. The reality of it was overwhelming. I thought I had fainted.
So the first part of the dream really got to me. I was extremely upset when I realized none of this happened. I'm pissed.
Now, okay, moving on to this morning. She goes to a seminary class with me, and this morning, she stared me down; literally. She wouldn't stop. I looked at her. She was looking at me. So I turned my head away, pretending not to notice. I could feel her eyes burn into my skin. That warm, nerve-racking sensation swelled up inside of me and I dared to see if she was still looking. Oh yes, she was. My friend, who was sitting beside me, then precedes to ask me a question. Completely taken aback by the situation, I had no words to respond with and when I did say something, my voice was unusually hoarse. Finally, she looks down at the table in front of her. She appeared deep in thought for a moment...
I've noticed that she tends to catch my eye more often now. Is it because I myself want her to look at me and notice these glances more than I should? am I thinking wrongly when I think she might have some feelings for me?
I don't understand! I think it's just my imagination playing tricks on me. I just like her so much that if she even looks at me for a second, I'll think she has something for me.
This situation rips and tears and my emotions. I want to have my way, I just do. But I can't... and I can only hope she has some feelings for me down inside. And that, I do not know.
My sister also told me that girls tend to go for guys who are older than them. Is that true? If so, then I probably don't stand a chance.
Wow, this is long. If you read this, cudos to you. I'll appreciate any comment given to me.
So here's my question:
Should I pursue this girl and try to start something with her, letting things play out naturally? If not, how do I get over her?
