Gay college student commits suicide

[Wintertide]

If there was a like button I would like Sarah's. Just because you are gay and you are being bullied doesn't mean that you are the only one in the whole world being picked on. People need to understand that suicide won't solve and stop every problem.

 

[MomentoMori]

I am at odds at what to think. Streaming the video was incredibly terrible of them. Killing himself because of that one video that probably no one gives two shits about? Very stupid. If someone killed himself every time a sex tape was put on the internet, the world would be a lot fewer today. I call bullshit on calling this a "hate crime". You tack on that offense because he was "different". Is every malicious mark against a gay man considered a hate crime?

I read about this. Stupid kids these days. I feel bad that he was exploited on the internet but then at the same time the kid was so stupid to commit suicide.​

I'm just going to refer to a post I made earlier. The article does not mention what happened in the intervening time between the webcam upload and his suicide. We don't know if someone managed to see this (if those people taped it and put it up on the net, I would not be surprised if they told their friends about it for shits and giggles) and harassed the victim about it. We don't know who else saw the video. For all we know, his family could've possibly heard of it and saw it; only a day, yes, but news travels very fast on the net. I think there may be a little more to this story than what the article tells us. I don't really think this is a hate crime necessarily. Was it wrong? Sure as hell - it violated someone's right to privacy and as such they need to be punished. But I don't really think there's a way to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that this was motivated by homophobia, which is what I think the NJ hate crime law requires.

 

[denizenofevil]

This news hit me really hard because just a few days ago, someone I knew committed suicide. I'm assuming that he wasn't just humiliated. He probably thought his life was over because really, things like this can tarnish your reputation, and prevent a lot of opportunities because of the stigma attached to being gay and being shown in a very private moment. An employer would see the video but they wouldn't know that he didn't make it himself. They would assume that the person was careless and unprofessional. Plus, he just got PUBLICLY OUTED. I'm not saying that this is all a good reason to commit suicide but to him, it probably was. Whatever he did, it doesn't change the fact that Molly Wei and Dharun Ravi did a horrible thing and they now have blood on their hands. This isn't a prank. These bullies committed a malicious act. Pranks are tricks all for good fun and they aren't supposed to be harmful in the long run and they should have been mature enough to understand the consequences. This kind of stuff doesn't just go away. Videos and pictures on the internet stay there forever.

 

[Turn]

I'm with Mori on this, 100% (and denizenofevil brings up some nice points as well): We just don't know. And it's certainly not our place to say whether or not the victim overreacted. We can't pretend to understand what his life was like up until this point; for all we know, this was just the straw that broke the camel's back (something I'm personally willing to bet was the case). And I'm disgusted by anyone trying to invalidate the actions or feelings of an obviously unwell person like the victim in this article.

I may agree that this was most likely not a hate crime, but I absolutely do not agree with the totally rude presumptions being thrown around.

 

[Captain Garlock]

Its not that I personally want to be rude its just personally theres people out there poor broke starving and even going through rough ass conditions and we do not see them commiting suicide. I find it to be easy way out of dealing with an issue. Yes you are right the one day could of made all the difference but to me it seems like maybe he was not totally sold on his sexuality and it pushed him over that people saw it I dont know. I think its dumb to kill yourself over facebook or any thing of that nature. Its not cool to do that. Hell I got picked on all my life and I still do I got jumped and robbed before ive had ALL the ways happen to but rape or molestation but you dont see me killing myself. I admit the situation he was in was bad but it does not warrant killing yourself. I do not condone suicide by any means but when it is over petty embarassing things such as facebook orr something of this nature I cant help but shake my head and wonder how or why it was that serious that you would kill yourself. Get some help do something do not kill yourself it only makes you look weak.
Im not being rude not am I trying to be funny about the situation thats just how I feel. We got global wars here famine poverty starvation poor living conditions homeless broke and of this shit and then we got this guy here killing himself over a sex tape? Really now its a sad affair but at the same time its an over reaction.

 

[MomentoMori]

Its not that I personally want to be rude its just personally theres people out there poor broke starving and even going through rough ass conditions and we do not see them commiting suicide. I find it to be easy way out of dealing with an issue. Yes you are right the one day could of made all the difference but to me it seems like maybe he was not totally sold on his sexuality and it pushed him over that people saw it I dont know. I think its dumb to kill yourself over facebook or any thing of that nature. Its not cool to do that. Hell I got picked on all my life and I still do I got jumped and robbed before ive had ALL the ways happen to but rape or molestation but you dont see me killing myself. I admit the situation he was in was bad but it does not warrant killing yourself. I do not condone suicide by any means but when it is over petty embarassing things such as facebook orr something of this nature I cant help but shake my head and wonder how or why it was that serious that you would kill yourself. Get some help do something do not kill yourself it only makes you look weak.
Im not being rude not am I trying to be funny about the situation thats just how I feel. We got global wars here famine poverty starvation poor living conditions homeless broke and of this shit and then we got this guy here killing himself over a sex tape? Really now its a sad affair but at the same time its an over reaction.

The thing is that we don't know what this poor man's life was like before this whole fiasco. We don't know if he was bullied and harassed before because of his sexuality. He may have even been assaulted. Who knows? We certainly don't. We don't know him personally, we don't know the circumstances, we don't know his past, so we can't judge and say whether or not the suicide made him look weak, or that his suicide was a direct result of the video, or that he was overreacting. We don't know anything beyond what this article tells us, which is not a lot. All this article tells us is about the video. It doesn't reveal anything about his past that may provide some sort of insight as to why he committed suicide. Maybe he didn't go for help before because he was afraid he would be bullied or hurt because of his sexual orientation. Could you blame him for that, especially if he had been hurt before, even by people he thought cared about him?

 

[denizenofevil]

But with that logic though, we should just stop worrying about the state of the economy. We shouldn't worry about the homeless people in this country either because people in Africa are starving and getting their limbs chopped off and children are forced to fight. Just because other people have bigger problems doesn't mean our problems are all of a suddenly invalidated. Suicide is a really touchy subject especially when you've just had someone you knew kill themselves. I just think we should all step back a bit and try to be a little more understanding for the victim.

 

[Wintertide]

I wonder if the guy ever tried to do something about his bullying. Doubt it.

 

[MomentoMori]

I wonder if the guy ever tried to do something about his bullying. Doubt it.

We can't make assumptions because we just don't know. Maybe he was afraid to (not making an assumption here, just offering a suggestion). As a victim of bullying myself, I can safely say that I kept silent for a long time before I just broke down. Why? Because I was terrified that if I told someone, the bully would just end up hurting me physically instead of just verbally.

 

[Captain Garlock]

The thing is that we don't know what this poor man's life was like before this whole fiasco. We don't know if he was bullied and harassed before because of his sexuality. He may have even been assaulted. Who knows? We certainly don't. We don't know him personally, we don't know the circumstances, we don't know his past, so we can't judge and say whether or not the suicide made him look weak, or that his suicide was a direct result of the video. We don't know anything beyond what this article tells us, which is not a lot.

You miss my point what could justify him killing himself is all Im saying. We have all been harassed picked on bullied beat up jumped all probably been robbed. Theres people starving living in war zones low family income no home no food living off hopes and dreams. And they DO NOT kill themselves they stay strong and pull through the adversity. Then we got this guy and his situation and he kills himself. Honestly there is no situation IMAGINABLE to me that could justify killing ones self I'M sorry.
These days suicide is like a toy every little preteen or teen wants to play when there social life gets fcuked up over some bullshit. Its not like its some new trend. After a while you start to lose your caring nature about it. I;m sorry if you think Im being a jerk or whatever but its how I see it. Tell me one good reason that TRULY justifies his actions to kill himself. Strong minded person would of over come the adversity and moved on thats what having a strong mind does for someone, Killing yourself over possible social collapse is absurd to me.
Again I will say suicide is the new trend for teens when life isnt fair.

Call me a jerk if you like but seriously are you going to feel bad for every single teen who kills themself over NOMRAL child like behavior such as bullying?

 

[denizenofevil]

I wonder if the guy ever tried to do something about his bullying. Doubt it.

Actually, he did. He tried to talk to the RA to get a room change so he wouldn't have to share a room with that douche.

 

[Turn]

Furthermore, people kill themselves because they want the easy way out. I don't think there's anyone out there who could seriously challenge that. They give up on themselves and become convinced that there is no other way, and that is a travesty, but ridiculing them for these feelings is ridiculous. So I can't help but feel as if CaptainGarlock (and Natalie, and Sarah) might be missing the point altogether.

Not everyone is built the same -- not everyone feels that they can overcome every bad thing that happens to them on their own, and they shouldn't have to. I said it earlier and I'll say it again: It's just a shame that the victim lived in a world where his self-esteem was so floundering that he couldn't overcome this. Was he weak? I think it's safe to say so. But it's silly to act as if he was the only person who put himself in that place to begin with.

 

[MomentoMori]

You miss my point what could justify him killing himself is all Im saying. We have all been harassed picked on bullied beat up jumped all probably been robbed. Theres people starving living in war zones low family income no home no food living off hopes and dreams. And they DO NOT kill themselves they stay strong and pull through the adversity. Then we got this guy and his situation and he kills himself. Honestly there is no situation IMAGINABLE to me that could justify killing ones self I'M sorry.
These days suicide is like a toy every little preteen or teen wants to play when there social life gets fucked up over some bullshit. Its not like its some new trend. After a while you start to lose your caring nature about it. I;m sorry if you think Im being a jerk or whatever but its how I see it. Tell me one good reason that TRULY justifies his actions to kill himself. Strong minded person would of over come the adversity and moved on thats what having a strong mind does for someone, Killing yourself over possible social collapse is absurd to me.
Again I will say suicide is the new trend for teens when life isnt fair.

I never once said that his suicide was justified. But I am saying that you have no damn clue what his life was like. Your statements are ignorant.

It's very easy for you to sit in front of the computer and say, "That was stupid of him. He's weak-minded." Why? Because you've most likely never been in his situation. You've most likely never have had to deal with the hatred and intolerance he did.

 

[Captain Garlock]

Furthermore, people kill themselves because they want the easy way out. I don't think there's anyone out there who could seriously challenge that. They give up on themselves and become convinced that there is no other way, and that is a travesty, but ridiculing them for these feelings is ridiculous. So I can't help but feel as if CaptainGarlock (and Natalie, and Sarah) might be missing the point altogether.

I can see upir point it sounds horrible for me to ridicule a guy for making his own decision about his life. Maybe it was bad maybe he could not take it I dont know. All I;m saying is I dont see anything that could constitute such behavior. Yes your right not everyone is the same. Not everyone can take the pressure. AT some point they breka and can not take it All I want to get out is that to me its still unjustified. Though hey maybe some break through will happen where theres another reason. I do however respect your words of wisdom on the subject.

It's very easy for you to sit in front of the computer and say, "That was stupid of him. He's weak-minded." Why? Because you've most likely never been in his situation. You've most likely never have had to deal with the hatred and intolerance he did.

Umm I have had to deal with much worse than he has. I can say that from what I have read. Life is no easy thing but at some point you gotta raise above the fucking ignorance and be who you are.
I cans ay for a fact my life was not the easiest to live. You doubting that shows how much of a dick I must be.

 

[Epif]

That really sucks. I wish his family, assuming that they didn't disown him or something like that, the best during this time... (or however the saying goes...)

 

[MomentoMori]

Call me a jerk if you like but seriously are you going to feel bad for every single teen who kills themself over NOMRAL child like behavior such as bullying?

Bullying is not something to be made light of or just passed off as, "Oh, it's a phase." Victims of bullying can be scarred for LIFE. Don't give me that shit, "Oh, it's just normal behavior." I was fortunate enough to have overcome my experience for the most part, but there are people out there who aren't. I still have issues with trust as a result of my being bullied.

I can see upir point it sounds horrible for me to ridicule a guy for making his own decision about his life. Maybe it was bad maybe he could not take it I dont know. All I;m saying is I dont see anything that could constitute such behavior. Yes your right not everyone is the same. Not everyone can take the pressure. AT some point they breka and can not take it All I want to get out is that to me its still unjustified. Though hey maybe some break through will happen where theres another reason. I do however respect your words of wisdom on the subject.

Exactly. YOU DON'T KNOW. You don't know him or what his life was like. Just because you don't see a valid reason doesn't mean anything other than you don't understand what he was going through. I am NOT condoning his suicide, but I do understand that sometimes people just come to a point where they feel like there is no other way out. However, saying that he was weak-minded and over-reacting is both insensitive and ignorant.

 

[Fractured_Heart628]

Yeah, it's disturbing about how the guy went. Nobody has the right to invade someone else's privacy like that. My mom told me about this story when she got off from work and after I told her about three child killers in the UK. But, I hope the guy who invaded his privacy gets arrested or at least expelled from the school.

 

[Wintertide]

I get sick of hearing people commit suicide over stupid stuff so I start to see it all the same.

No one knows, neither do you.

 

[Captain Garlock]

Bullying is not something to be made light of or just passed off as, "Oh, it's a phase." Victims of bullying can be scarred for LIFE. Don't give me that shit, "Oh, it's just normal behavior." I was fortunate enough to have overcome my experience for the most part, but there are people out there who aren't. I still have issues with trust as a result of my being bullied.

Every child gets bullied its one of those character building phase of each childs life. I learned that the hard way. I wanted to change elementary shcool SO damn bad. My mom would NOT let me do it. Got to high school I was getting beat up my mother demanded I change schools in fear Id commit suicide or get killed. I refused knowing that in order to stop it I had to face it. To this day people pick fights with me. Jump me. beat me up and robb me but guess what its life. No one has that fairytale life.
And let me tell you something else you talk about being bullied guess what? I had that ON top of being mad fun of because I couldnt talk correctly. On top of being a sick kid growing up. AND having to deal with the truth about my dead mother. Then I had to watch my brother who is the only guy I give a rats ass about other than my dad and grandmother go away and start his life. Look Ive been through some tough shit bullying makes you stronger in my eyes.
What does not kill cna only make you strong. Id still be that crying whimp ass kid I was if it wasnt for those assholes. I thank them.

I get sick of hearing people commit suicide over stupid stuff so I start to see it all the same.

Exactly

 

[denizenofevil]

It's pretty upsetting to me that people are actually blaming and ridiculing the victim here. He killed himself for reasons we will probably never fully understand and I'm willing to guess that he also did it to get away from the injustice and the ridicule and bullying and even after he's dead, people are still doing it. I've had a rough and emotional week so I apologize if I got testy and it's probably best that I not read this thread any more. I just feel terrible for the victim and his friends and family. I know what it feels like to be left confused and I know what it feels like to lose someone to suicide. No one know why they did it but at the same time, no one could understand what they've been through. Because of that fact, I still stand by my stance that we should be respectful and not be so quick to judge and make assumptions about their character.