This isnt a new problem. I have tried my ways and I feel no better so I am getting pretty short on hope.
Last November, I think it was Nov 24, my girlfriend dumped me.
We have been seeing each other for over a year, officially it wouldve been a year on dec 18. We had been together and an unofficial couple for around 16 months.
At the time we were together, I loved her a lot. She was being distant towards the end but she kept telling me that it was because of exam study, which she had been doing a lot of according to her sister. I hoped that was the reason because I was eager to get back to being with her after around a month of not seeing her outside of school. I dont think I was being too clingy or anything. If she had a problem, she would tell me.
On the last day of exams, nov 23, I was so happy that exams were finished, not because I hate exams, but because I wouldnt have to miss her so much. The next day I went to her house to see her and we went for a walk to the river, our common romantic place to sit and be together, but while we were there she never looked at me and seemed as lifeless to me as she was when we had no contact during exams. I got very worried and she picked up on it, I could see she did. Fearing the worst, like I seem to do in the heat of the moment, I hug her very tight and tell her something like "I know what you are about to do but can you give me this one day with you before you end it all?". In retrospect, I probably shouldnt have said that because in response to me bringing up the subject, she dumped me immediately.
While I was trying to stop panicking, she said all the expected things, like "I still want to be friends","I love you, just not in the way you want me to" etc.
When I was about to go home I explained to her what I was fearing for the relationship, that we would get further and further apart and she would completely leave me. She assured me that wouldnt happen and I was sceptical.
Now, as a result, I spend my spare time at home watching tv and doing anti social things like that, not because I want to but because I dont have her to do things with. When I was single I was very outgoing, I had heaps of friends who I was with all the time, but I gave this all up and now that she is gone I dont have any of it. I still love her. She has been terribly cold to me and ended up doing everything I predicted.
The main problem now is that I cant remember who I used to be back then. Who I am now doesnt get me far anymore. I dont know how to talk to other girls because I trained myself to be loyal and to stop flirting with others, my friends learnt to live without me and are still in the habit of excluding me, my ex girlfriend has cut off all contact with me and ignores me at school.
I have tried to toughen up. It worked for a while. I was ignoring all my emotions, which amazingly worked, but then I still had no one to talk to and it made everything bland and dull, not painful but ultimately equally unpleasant.
I dont want to have to talk about it here. It is nothing against you all, I just want to be able to do it by myself, but I am out of ideas. Everything I have tried is ineffective.
Any ideas?
Last November, I think it was Nov 24, my girlfriend dumped me.
We have been seeing each other for over a year, officially it wouldve been a year on dec 18. We had been together and an unofficial couple for around 16 months.
At the time we were together, I loved her a lot. She was being distant towards the end but she kept telling me that it was because of exam study, which she had been doing a lot of according to her sister. I hoped that was the reason because I was eager to get back to being with her after around a month of not seeing her outside of school. I dont think I was being too clingy or anything. If she had a problem, she would tell me.
On the last day of exams, nov 23, I was so happy that exams were finished, not because I hate exams, but because I wouldnt have to miss her so much. The next day I went to her house to see her and we went for a walk to the river, our common romantic place to sit and be together, but while we were there she never looked at me and seemed as lifeless to me as she was when we had no contact during exams. I got very worried and she picked up on it, I could see she did. Fearing the worst, like I seem to do in the heat of the moment, I hug her very tight and tell her something like "I know what you are about to do but can you give me this one day with you before you end it all?". In retrospect, I probably shouldnt have said that because in response to me bringing up the subject, she dumped me immediately.
While I was trying to stop panicking, she said all the expected things, like "I still want to be friends","I love you, just not in the way you want me to" etc.
When I was about to go home I explained to her what I was fearing for the relationship, that we would get further and further apart and she would completely leave me. She assured me that wouldnt happen and I was sceptical.
Now, as a result, I spend my spare time at home watching tv and doing anti social things like that, not because I want to but because I dont have her to do things with. When I was single I was very outgoing, I had heaps of friends who I was with all the time, but I gave this all up and now that she is gone I dont have any of it. I still love her. She has been terribly cold to me and ended up doing everything I predicted.
The main problem now is that I cant remember who I used to be back then. Who I am now doesnt get me far anymore. I dont know how to talk to other girls because I trained myself to be loyal and to stop flirting with others, my friends learnt to live without me and are still in the habit of excluding me, my ex girlfriend has cut off all contact with me and ignores me at school.
I have tried to toughen up. It worked for a while. I was ignoring all my emotions, which amazingly worked, but then I still had no one to talk to and it made everything bland and dull, not painful but ultimately equally unpleasant.
I dont want to have to talk about it here. It is nothing against you all, I just want to be able to do it by myself, but I am out of ideas. Everything I have tried is ineffective.
Any ideas?
