Scott Brown: My Daughters Are Available, Health Care Isn't

[Blaze of Glory]

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - Republican Scott Brown, Massachusetts' newly minted Senator, toured the Capitol today and revisited a theme from his victory speech, telling reporters, "My daughters are available, but if I have my way, health care won't be."

Chuckling at his remark, Mr. Brown added, "I was just kidding. Not about the health care part, though. I was dead serious about that."

Continuing to sound his theme, the Massachusetts senator said he would work around the clock "to make sure that Ayla, Arianna and health care all become unavailable forever."

When asked whether pimping for his daughters was in questionable taste, Mr. Brown replied, "That's my idea of the public option."

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I just had to post this

I saw it the other night and I was fucking livid

Honestly, the cycle of stupidity from father politicians does not stop

If this was my father I would punch him straight in the face

No e-thugging or anything this just goes beyond stupid

Advertising his daughters like they're hooters girls is frigging disgusting.

Also as far as Healthcare is concerned as least go carefully over it you goddamn illiterate blue collars.

 

[Weeaboo]

And I'm sure he WASN'T joking about the girls either.

I'm sure they're ugly as hell too. Which explains why he had to do what he did.

 

[Sawah]

martha coakley should have won

 

[Vice]

I'd totally run a train on both of his daughters.

There umhm mmmhmmm good.

 

[gelandporn]

 

[Azrael]

Martha Coakley had a shitty campaign and the people of Massachusetts decided to pick a Republican.

Scott Brown was the better of the two evils. I hope he does a good job.

 

[Nyangoro]

"My daughters are available, but if I have my way, health care won't be."

This is what we're criticizing him for? This little joke? Pettiness has sunk to a new low.

 

[Azrael]

This is what we're criticizing him for? This little joke? Pettiness has sunk to a new low.

Exactly. I find this pettiness just sore losers from Coakley supporters.

 

[SilverJ-17]

What a fucking stupid analogy.. comparing his daughters to health care.. Why do republicans have a knack for attracting people who might end up making the party look bad?

 

[Azrael]

What a fucking stupid analogy.. comparing his daughters to health care.. Why do republicans have a knack for attracting people who might end up making the party look bad?

Harry Reid and his Negro comment makes the Democrats look bad.

What's your point? Both parties suck.

 

[Flowing Ice]

The main point in all this is why did THE most Liberal state vote in a Republican.? It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. That joke added more fuel to the WTF fire, like how you would discount or insult the words or kinder actions of an enemy, simply because you see them as totally evil, or at least, the bad guy/nut job.

In other words, it doesn't make them look any better to you.

 

[Sir Jecht]

The main point in all this is why did THE most Liberal state vote in a Republican.? It doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

Martha Coakley ran a bad campaign and people are dense in America, so dense that the dude with the pick-up truck and nude Cosmo center-fold seemed like the best option. Not saying that Coakley was any better but it's like she didn't even bother to try.

 

[Deleted member 36435]

 

[Azrael]

Martha Coakley ran a bad campaign and people are dense in America, so dense that the dude with the pick-up truck and nude Cosmo center-fold seemed like the best option. Not saying that Coakley was any better but it's like she didn't even bother to try.

The Democrats were too overconfident thinking that it would be no contest since it's the late Liberal Lion's seat but boy was that a surprise.

Scott Brown got lucky I'll admit and if he wants to be re-elected, he'll need to be at least moderate in his stances like the old Northeastern Republicans.

 

[Blaze of Glory]

Exactly. I find this pettiness just sore losers from Coakley supporters.

I'm not an Oakly supporter

Nor was I paying attention to the race just this statement.

 

[UnrelentingLight]

martha coakley should have won

Sorry but she really shouldn't have.

 

[Dogenzaka]

Link

I just had to post this

I saw it the other night and I was fucking livid

Honestly, the cycle of stupidity from father politicians does not stop

If this was my father I would punch him straight in the face

No e-thugging or anything this just goes beyond stupid

Advertising his daughters like they're hooters girls is frigging disgusting.

Also as far as Healthcare is concerned as least go carefully over it you goddamn illiterate blue collars.

Somebody can't take a joke.