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[Marly]

Anyway, to make a long story short I have this friend that I have met on here, we've been MSN buddies for about 2 years now. We're really close and we pretty much consider each other as really close personal friends, despite the whole internet thing.

Well a few days ago, this friend is like "Hey, I hate everyone, I don't want to talk to anyone, so don't message me." And I tried to find out why this may have happened -- but to no avail. Over those few days she was on MSN (which kind of hurt my feelings because I couldn't understand why she'd be on MSN if she didn't want to talk to anyone), so I tried to message her; no reply. Eventually I gave up.

Finally she messages me all happy-go-lucky and shit, and before I respond I think for a moment. Giving her a taste of her own medicine would be nice. So I ignore her as well.

I mean ultimately, I just felt hurt, like maybe I can only talk to her when it's convient for her. Well yesterday she messages me and I say hi back, but I was watching a movie and kind of forgot about it. Well this pisses her off and sends us into this little altercation:

(2:06 AM) MSNFRIEND: fcuk YOU IGNORE ME FOR A WEEK
AND THEN
YOU IGNORE ME SOME MORE
GODDAMMIT
(2:06 AM) MSNFRIEND: 'A'
;A;*
SEE IF I CARE BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH

(2:06 AM) Mark: YOU IGNORED ME FIRST

(2:06 AM) MSNFRIEND: NO
YOU DEFINITELY IGNORED ME
AND I EVEN SAID "HI" LIKE A FEW DAYS
AND YOU RESPONDED ONCE
AND WHEN I SAID SOMETHING
YOU STOPPED TALKING

(2:07 AM) Mark: yea it was PAYBACK FOR IGNORING ME

(2:07 AM) MSNFRIEND: JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING PISSY ABOUT THE MUSICIAN THING WHICH YOU PROBABLY TOOK THE WRONG WAY ANYWAY
WHEN DID I IGNORE YOU
YOU'RE THE ONE STARTING THE CONVOS ANYWAY

(2:07 AM) Mark: NO
NO

(2:07 AM) MSNFRIEND: YEAH
YOU NEEDY BITCH
YOU ALWAYS GOTTA START IT

(2:08 AM) Mark: YOU WERE LIKE "I fcukING HATE EVERYONE SO DON'T TALK TO ME FOR A FEW DAYS KTHXBAI OH NO NO EXPLAINATION EITHER THX"

(2:08 AM) MSNFRIEND: YEAH THAT WASN'T PERSONAL YOU BITCH
AND THEN I STARTED TALKING TO YOU
AND YOU STILL fcukING IGNORED ME

(2:09 AM) Mark: YOU STARTED TALKING TO ME
YES
SO I DECIDED TO IGNORE YOU

(2:09 AM) Mark: BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUN BEING IGNORED
FOR NO REASON

(2:09 AM) MSNFRIEND: I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T PERSONAL YOU BITCH
GO AWAY FOREVER

After the "GO AWAY FOREVER" she blocked me, like she usually does when we fight. Which I HATE because how can we fcuking solve this if she does that?!

Since this friend used to be a member here I wanted to keep her identity safe. Hence the MSNFRIEND

Anyway KHI. Was I wrong? Was she wrong? Neither? Both?

Any advice at all would be great KHI. Thank you.

 

[loke13]

Kill her. She dares shun your friendship, she doesn't deserve this world!!!

 

[Piercing Light]

lol you can't fight fire with fire ya know? (Except those cases where you burn an area so the wild fire can't but I digress)

It seems like this is a minor conflict, and not worth ruining a friendship over. If she ever unblocks you I would suggest you try and resolve it, not by proving who was right but by just putting it in the past. Perhaps you can tell her how it made you feel when she just decided to shut you out. Personally whenever I'm upset about something I try not to let it effect others in a negative way, if anything I'll go to others in an effort to cheer myself up.

 

[Ophan]

no disrespect, but Marly you're an adult...you seriously need to get over petty arguments like that

 

[Turn]

You already know how I feel about this. You just gots to move on, baby. B)

 

[Marly]

no disrespect, but Marly you're an adult...you seriously need to get over petty arguments like that

Just because I'm an "adult" (arguable) doesn't mean I don't place importance in my friends. The idea of just letting her ignore me like that and then expect everything to be okay without her even considering how I may felt just irks me, and I was tired of feeling like her lapdog. If that makes any sense.

If she had given me any sort of explanation then I would definitely have been more understanding. But if someone just decides they don't want to talk to you for no reason, it's not something you're going to take lightly.

 

[Ophan]

Just because I'm an "adult" (arguable) doesn't mean I don't place importance in my friends. The idea of just letting her ignore me like that and then expect everything to be okay without her even considering how I may felt just irks me, and I was tired of feeling like her lapdog. If that makes any sense.

If she had given me any sort of explanation then I would definitely have been more understanding. But if someone just decides they don't want to talk to you for no reason, it's not something you're going to take lightly.

okay, but you thought the best option was to do the same in return...

 

[Marly]

okay, but you thought the best option was to do the same in return...

You're right. It was rather contentious of me to do so. But it was something that I felt had to be done. Because if I were to just forgive and forget then she wouldn't have learned.

It's really hard to explain my line of thinking for why I did that because this girl is very complex. If I had outright confronted her about it, then she would've just dismissed the whole thing.

 

[Ophan]

You're right. It was rather contentious of me to do so. But it was something that I felt had to be done. Because if I were to just forgive and forget then she wouldn't have learned.

It's really hard to explain my line of thinking for why I did that because this girl is very complex. If I had outright confronted her about it, then she would've just dismissed the whole thing.

then you have to let her dismiss your confrontation. The strongest person in a situation is the one willing to provide the most stable argument, whether the other person wants to listen to you or not. If this person is not willing to be a good friend, then let them wait out the moment to understand that they may be in the wrong. If that's not enough, than this person is waisting your time and ruining your friendship, and that the best possible option is to just move on

 

[Marly]

then you have to let her dismiss your confrontation. The strongest person in a situation is the one willing to provide the most stable argument, whether the other person wants to listen to you or not. If this person is not willing to be a good friend, then let them wait out the moment to understand that they may be in the wrong. If that's not enough, than this person is waisting your time and ruining your friendship, and that the best possible option is to just move on

There's only so many times you should let someone ignore what they've done to you if they hurt you. I've been through that and I don't like the idea of someone hurting me and then not feeling guilt about it. Also her puerile way of dealing with the confrontation by blocking me is something that I just cannot stand. Every time something bugs me and I confront her she blocks me.

 

[Epif]

You probably should have told her that you can't stand it when she shrugs off what she has done. If she keeps blocking you and ignoring you, maybe she doesn't regard your friendship as "real" because it's on line? I mean, would a real friend block you over something so ridiculous and childish?

 

[Satoshi]

no disrespect, but Marly you're an adult...you seriously need to get over petty arguments like that

Oh cmon, be nice.

It'd be better to move on. If she's like this more than once, it's better to start making friends that deserve your attention and kindness. As for the internet thing; I don't disagree but you might wanna try making friends in real life before depending en growing close to internetpeople. Did you actually ever meet her in person?

 

[stephaknee]

She said it wasn't personal so stop being so fcuking sensitive. She said she didn't feel like talking to anyone-- sounds like she was going through something. Maybe she didn't feel comfortable talking to you about it. You should have been a good friend and just made sure she was okay. You have never gone through a time where you just wanted to be alone for a while? Maybe think about things? I definitely have. And she even told you that she would be gone for a few days and didn't just ignore you outright. You sound like an immature brat. "She won't tell me what's wrong so I'm going to ignore her boohoo ;("

 

[Ehres]

^ What Steph said, plus the fact you really kicked yourself in the teeth by screaming and shouting at her instead of controlling the situation calmly.

 

[Ophan]

gotta love the ladies here. Wish i had this kind of treatment more often