Help/Support ► Should I be here?

[Odium Crop]

Honestly, becoming a member of this forum was something that I was not sure about from the start. I thought that it would be better if I browsed on this forum whenever I would use it, but because I had (and still have) so many questions, and because I could not use the search feature without making an account, these were the main reasons for why I joined.

In the surprisingly small space of time that I have used this forum, I have done a lot... Voiced my opinions, ask questions series and forum-related, and said some stupid things that I have been punished for and regretted.

I feel that I have made too many mistakes on this forum. My time on this forum has been a disaster from the start, really... Apart from the first few posts asking about Ventus' heart going into Roxas, if I remember correctly, my debut in the forum really came in a debate about why Disney impedes the Kingdom Hearts series. While I only have one regret that I can think of from that period (apart from the fact that the first of these two threads went humiliatingly off-topic), gaining my title in this forum as being 'the person who hates Disney' was not a good place to start.

As I have become more accustomed to this forum, I have unfortunately altered my role of asking series-based questions several times, and more than once I have said something that I regret or did not put thought into, which results in my punishments. I have made several debates, which more than one person has labelled as 'trolling', which is never intended. I never plan to make my discussions as bad as they are.

I have caused offence too many times and said bad things, and because it seems so difficult to control this at times, I feel like I am a poison to this forum. I never mean to cause offence, and I never want to be under odium. I just want to be thought of as a regular, tolerable member. The point of this is, should I really keep using this forum, or would it be wiser not to?

 

[Ruran]

The thing is to learn from your mistakes and not run away from them. As a Kingdom Hearts fan you belong here as much as any of us. Not everyone may agree with what you have to say but you've done nothing to warrant you deserving of leaving (if you really were such a nuisance you would have been banned long ago).

Asking questions about the series no one has a problem with. It's a KH based forum so the members like discussing it and conversation is generated. I can honestly say that the only annoyed person in this is you yourself because you're being way too self conscious, no one has a problem with you asking questions pertaining to the series.

Overall I think you just need to relax more. I've seen most, if not all, of your topic since you've joined and you just takes things too seriously at times and it especially shows in Forum Insanity. It's a section of the forum where the members are allowed to be stupid (with in reason) all though you make (semi) serious topics there and get upset when the members are acting like idiots. Because that's specifically what that section is for, to let loose and act like an idiot.

You seem to get so uptight over miniscule things and it confuses everyone. Someone says something or responds to you, you take it out of context, then you get responded to being told that's not what you think it means. I'd say that more than anything you just confuse the other members with your behaviour.

Over all, no, I don't think you need to leave. If you don't feel comfortable here and want to leave then you have to do what you feel most comfortable with.

 

[Moonlight Aqua]

Okay first of all, you need to lighten up on the story. Nomura has pulled on us forever with this plot and of course there will be questions. But the way you ask and answer is the reason for the misfortune, believe me I've been in your shoes when I first came here. I posted something about hating Xion or Kairi (I forgot) and began to fight with some of the members here, what I learned is when you ask, ask politely, not demanding and then end with a smile or something lighthearted, so that way if you ask something dumb, it won't sound bad and people will go easier with you. Trust me, the mods, admins and staff are so nice here and they try hard to answer your questions, so they'll answer nicely! Adding to that, don't be rude to them. It's like in RL, treat others the way you want to be treated. So I doubt if someone ask something and instead of ending the convo with a "thank you" you say, "Nevermind, I'm done here." seems rude and mean. Some of the staff are my friends here and are really nice people, and being rude isn't going to help you get your question quicker, they are busy, so please be patient.

Another tip is to be nice and write what you want to say. We can't see your face or your expressions, all we see is the writing you posted. So you need to be more detailed on how you feel, like if I when I asked about the gametrailer thing and because I didn't know the song at the end I said, "I'm sorry if I sound... ignorant, but what was that song?" I apologize, in case someone else posted something before me with the question or if it sounded dumb, but because people here are nice, I don't fear that they'll think I'm dumb. So don't fear anything and just ask, but think before you write.

Before you answer with a, "I have been nice and polite." Please go back to your threads and posts and re-read them, but read them as if you are the person receiving them... then you'll see what we see.

 

[Odium Crop]

I understand that I am in the wrong, and I am not going to argue with what you have said, but I am still not sure why. I always try to be polite when I ask questions, but if I am not being polite in what I have already said, then I am currently left wondering in how to be polite. Am I that bad when it comes to offending people? Have I really upset people more times than I previously thought? This would help explain why I have only received one friend request, but even then, I do not think that I should ever accept any friend requests. I will just disappoint anyone who pays attention to me.

Do I take situations too seriously too often? I always try to be dignified when I am on this forum, but maybe being dignified is not the equivalent of taking things seriously. I really hate that I seem to be doing so many things wrong. I wish that I did not make so many faults. I know that ban requests are not accepted here, but I still think that, in my case, it would be better if they were...

 

[Ruran]

I think one thing to keep in mind is that things don't always translate well over the internet because things are mostly communicated in text form. What may sound fine to you in your head or spoken aloud may not translate as well typed. Like the previous poster said, you have a tendency to say "I'm done here" which you may not intentionally mean to sound rude but that's something people often say over the internet when they're angry and want to end a conversation. Again, what may not sound rude to you or in a normal spoken conversation might not translate well over the internet or in text. We can't see or hear you so your mannerisms are a mystery to us.

Don't be so hard on yourself, I told you to relax. I COMMAND YOU! Just take things in stride and try not to read things as so negative (or from now on I will dub you "Negative Nelly"). The members here rarely do things with negative intent. Like when I commented you saying that Nomura came up with Coded drunk I posted that hoping you'd get a laugh out of it and would want to read through the interviews yourself because they sometimes have silly tidbits like that. I wasn't expecting you to "lose respect for Nomura"...

But like I said, it's up to you if want to be here or not. You don't have to be banned but it's your choice to log off and not come back. I'd urge you to stay though, you are not a marked man. A lot of people have a rough start when they first join a forum. Again ff_fanatic mentioned that when she were new here they she got into fights with other members. It's been over three years and she's still here with good friends. These awkward early days of being a new member will blow over, like high school.

 

[Odium Crop]

The reason for why I have said "I am done here" more than once is because one person said it to me (who I will not name) after scolding me, so I assumed that this is what is normally said when one wants to 'hang up' in a discussion. I do not think that that makes it okay to say that, but I thought that it was regular on this forum.

It is true that I generally have a negative nature, but that is really only because I always become disappointed as soon as I get my hopes up. I do not always expect to have people reply to my threads, and I always feel nervous whenever I 'bump' a thread that is too old by forum standards. This could result in the thread being locked, as I have seen before, though as of yet, the slightly aged threads that I post on are not that dated.

I generally distrust the authority on this forum, which is not meant to be a bad thing, but I always try to be cautious whenever I make posts, and I try not to cause offence. It is somewhat surprising that I can be as crude and offensive as I please on FI, but as soon as I go even slightly out-of-line on any other thread, the authority has me at their mercy.

 

[Ruran]

The reason for why I have said "I am done here" more than once is because one person said it to me (who I will not name) after scolding me, so I assumed that this is what is normally said when one wants to 'hang up' in a discussion. I do not think that that makes it okay to say that, but I thought that it was regular on this forum.

Th-there's your clue...

It is true that I generally have a negative nature, but that is really only because I always become disappointed as soon as I get my hopes up. I do not always expect to have people reply to my threads, and I always feel nervous whenever I 'bump' a thread that is too old by forum standards. This could result in the thread being locked, as I have seen before, though as of yet, the slightly aged threads that I post on are not that dated.

Our forum has a policy that if a topic is over six months old (from the last post) it's too old to necro. If you're concerned about stuff like that there's the good 'ol Ask-A-Mod thread or you can contact someone directly. Disappointments happen and when they do afterward is when you vent your frustrations. *looks at BbS* Sometimes disappointments can't be avoided.

I payed full price for yoooouuuu... >_>

I generally distrust the authority on this forum, which is not meant to be a bad thing, but I always try to be cautious whenever I make posts, and I try not to cause offence. It is somewhat surprising that I can be as crude and offensive as I please on FI, but as soon as I go even slightly out-of-line on any other thread, the authority has me at their mercy.

Saying you generally distrust us is alarming nonetheless. :1
It's the trade off, FI is specifically designed for all kinds of shenanigans but you're expected to behave everywhere else. There are general forum rules but then some sections have subrules. In the case of FI it has the least rules.

 

[Dogenzaka]

how old are you?

no one really cares if you hate disney. well, no one older than 14.

i'm one of the most hated members on these forums, and i've done many good things for these forums over the years. people hate me for a lot of reasons, but i still come back because LOL it's fun here sometimes and frankly i don't give a damn what some random people on the internet think about one sliver of a shade of my persona that presents itself online.

just have fun and stop beating yourself up about the internet. if it's not fun anymore, leave, but really, think about it. how insignificant is it to worry about what people think of you in a video game debate about disney? is that really relevant or significant to your life as a whole in the possibly 80-year spectrum of its existence at all? no.

one of the biggest lessons i've had to learn since I visited here as a 14-year-old was to not take things so seriously. just lighten up, the majority of the people here are angsty teenagers that have yet to do anything meaningful in their lives. be nice and polite if you can, but consider your audience. they'll bully whoever they feel like if they want to.

i haven't read any of your posts before so i don't know what your posting habits are like but frankly i don't care because i know that doesn't make who you are as a person.

 

[Deleted member 36435]

this is my impression of you:
- did seemingly nothing wrong
- always acts like a victim for no reason
- tries to hard
- repeat

 

[Oracle Spockanort]

Odium, the person who said "I'm done here" (it was really "We're done here.") was tired of your responses that were not getting the problem solved and you were only aggravating a non-issue so they needed to, as a moderator, shut down the train of discussion. You were coming off as antagonizing to a staff member over their signature image, something that three people after you asked about it told you was for our Nostalgia Month and did not violate our rules, and yet you still felt the need to tell them they were a hypocrite.

You did not use common sense to keep your thoughts to yourself, and your comment was unnecessary at that time. Antagonizing staff doesn't really help you get your questions answered when they are trying to help you out, but you get really serious when they are providing honest answers. Our staff is here to help as well as discipline, and the point of being scolded over something you may have done that was wrong is to take in a lesson that "Hey, maybe I shouldn't say stuff like that. That might be rude." and learn how to filter yourself.

It is common courtesy to say "thank you" after somebody helps you, not dismissing them with a "I'm done here", "carry on", "Leave me alone", etc. and ignoring valid comments to respond to a post you felt did not reach your standards.

All you need to do is listen to what other people are saying to you rather than ignoring it. One post you dislike our of five others does not mean your topic has suddenly been invalidated. If you think somebody is antagonizing you, do not rise to the bait. Step away and either respond to the posts you believe are valid or don't post at all and move on to something else.

Stop playing the victim when nobody is trying to attack you. People want to understand you, but you make it hard when you don't take the time to understand them. You need to learn how to compromise and understand. You can have your own opinions about anything, and everybody has their own opinions. This is when you use your judgement on how to proceed. "Should I post this? How will people respond to this post? Is it worth posting?"

Join in on other positive discussions outside of your own. We try to have fun here, and we'd like for you to have fun as well.

Also Forum Insanity is, like we have all said, a place for non-serious discussion. Anything you post there is liable to be littered with spammy posts that you wouldn't otherwise see outside of FI. Lighten up. You'll have much better time if you do.

 

[Johnny Stooge]

how old are you?

no one really cares if you hate disney. well, no one older than 14.

i'm one of the most hated members on these forums, and i've done many good things for these forums over the years. people hate me for a lot of reasons, but i still come back because LOL it's fun here sometimes and frankly i don't give a damn what some random people on the internet think about one sliver of a shade of my persona that presents itself online.

just have fun and stop beating yourself up about the internet. if it's not fun anymore, leave, but really, think about it. how insignificant is it to worry about what people think of you in a video game debate about disney? is that really relevant or significant to your life as a whole in the possibly 80-year spectrum of its existence at all? no.

one of the biggest lessons i've had to learn since I visited here as a 14-year-old was to not take things so seriously. just lighten up, the majority of the people here are angsty teenagers that have yet to do anything meaningful in their lives. be nice and polite if you can, but consider your audience. they'll bully whoever they feel like if they want to.

i haven't read any of your posts before so i don't know what your posting habits are like but frankly i don't care because i know that doesn't make who you are as a person.

i would listen to this guy. and then i would listen to me telling you to listen to this guy because i think this guy fucking sucks. so that's saying something. (he hates me too. it's all the unrealised sexual tension.)

you're taking life too seriously. and this forum WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. don't over think things, guy. relax bro.

people hate me for a lot of reasons

well except for that time you agreed with my point of view. which still blows my fucking mind.

 

[Wehrmacht]

To be honest you kind of remind of myself when I joined the forum in that I took things way too seriously, given what this place even is and what it means in the grand scheme of things. One of the most important things I learned from my time here and from other members is that I really needed to stop treating an internet forum (and the internet in general) like a big deal. Generally speaking people just really don't care that much about what you do or if you are making yourself look foolish, unless it's particularly bad (and it isn't in your case); in that sense it's really not different from real life at all. Nobody sees you as a "poison" to the forum; at worst you are just a member who has a bad habit of taking things out of context and just kinda weird in how seriously you take things.

I took this forum really seriously for the first few years when I joined because it was a place where I could go and belong when I was too afraid to be a part of the real world, which just wasn't giving me the kind of social interaction I wanted and needed at the time, so in a way yeah it was a big deal because I really wanted to find a community where I could belong. Some of that still applies, but I learned that being so uptight was completely unnecessary, made me look foolish (because I was), and generated a lot of anxiety over basically nothing. I have no idea what your IRL situation is or what being part of an online community means to you, but regardless, you'll be fine if you just stop drawing so much attention to yourself and making mountains of molehills over what people think of you on an internet forum. You'll most likely never meet any of us, and most of us will never have any real significant impact on your life (though if you make friends like I did that's subject to change). What does it all even matter in the grand scheme of things?

Ultimately whether you decide you want to stay or not is up to you. If you're not having fun and are positive you will never be able to, you are free to leave at any time. But regardless of whether you stay or not, I hope that you'll remember the advice people are giving you. I think Stooge put it pretty well:

you're taking life too seriously. and this forum WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. don't over think things, guy. relax bro.

 

[Deleted member 36435]

paolo your sig says fart im gonna have to ask you to change it

 

[Dogenzaka]

(he hates me too. it's all the unrealised sexual tension.)

No shit, Aussie.

 

[Urbane]

important to remember is that there are lots of shenanigans on these forums. when you see shenanigans, just go with the flow. remember, this forum exists basically for fun. so when you see people doing things you might take offense to, just remember that they're in all honesty probably just kidding around. and likewise, no one really takes offense to your actions because... well, it's a forum. no one really cares. you need to learn to stop worrying and love the khi.

 

[Odium Crop]

Odium, the person who said "I'm done here" (it was really "We're done here.") was tired of your responses that were not getting the problem solved and you were only aggravating a non-issue so they needed to, as a moderator, shut down the train of discussion. You were coming off as antagonizing to a staff member over their signature image, something that three people after you asked about it told you was for our Nostalgia Month and did not violate our rules, and yet you still felt the need to tell them they were a hypocrite.

You did not use common sense to keep your thoughts to yourself, and your comment was unnecessary at that time. Antagonizing staff doesn't really help you get your questions answered when they are trying to help you out, but you get really serious when they are providing honest answers. Our staff is here to help as well as discipline, and the point of being scolded over something you may have done that was wrong is to take in a lesson that "Hey, maybe I shouldn't say stuff like that. That might be rude." and learn how to filter yourself.

It is common courtesy to say "thank you" after somebody helps you, not dismissing them with a "I'm done here", "carry on", "Leave me alone", etc. and ignoring valid comments to respond to a post you felt did not reach your standards.

All you need to do is listen to what other people are saying to you rather than ignoring it. One post you dislike our of five others does not mean your topic has suddenly been invalidated. If you think somebody is antagonizing you, do not rise to the bait. Step away and either respond to the posts you believe are valid or don't post at all and move on to something else.

Stop playing the victim when nobody is trying to attack you. People want to understand you, but you make it hard when you don't take the time to understand them. You need to learn how to compromise and understand. You can have your own opinions about anything, and everybody has their own opinions. This is when you use your judgement on how to proceed. "Should I post this? How will people respond to this post? Is it worth posting?"

Join in on other positive discussions outside of your own. We try to have fun here, and we'd like for you to have fun as well.

Also Forum Insanity is, like we have all said, a place for non-serious discussion. Anything you post there is liable to be littered with spammy posts that you wouldn't otherwise see outside of FI. Lighten up. You'll have much better time if you do.

So... Have I really caused that much damage here? Am I not coming off as being as nice as I want to be? I have said a lot of stupid and unnecessary things here, but if I really have been that bad, then why did no one tell me sooner?

I really want to keep using this forum, but it just seems so dangerous now. Maybe the staff should start being less tolerant, at least in my case... I feel like I have made too many mistakes now. I deserve more infractions. Do any of you hate me for what I have done? How much? I never realized that I was not behaving properly.

Even as I re-read my post, I am not conveying my message properly. I am sorry to any readers.

 

[Wehrmacht]

So... Have I really caused that much damage here? Am I not coming off as being as nice as I want to be? I have said a lot of stupid and unnecessary things here, but if I really have been that bad, then why did no one tell me sooner?

It feels like you haven't actually read the replies.

You haven't caused any damage. The most damage you're causing is to yourself, because you take things too seriously. Relax, bro.

 

[Taylor]

So... Have I really caused that much damage here? Am I not coming off as being as nice as I want to be? I have said a lot of stupid and unnecessary things here, but if I really have been that bad, then why did no one tell me sooner?

I really want to keep using this forum, but it just seems so dangerous now. Maybe the staff should start being less tolerant, at least in my case... I feel like I have made too many mistakes now. I deserve more infractions. Do any of you hate me for what I have done? How much? I never realized that I was not behaving properly.

Even as I re-read my post, I am not conveying my message properly. I am sorry to any readers.

Dude, you seriously need to stop freaking out. You're making it worse for yourself by being this paranoid.

 

[Moonlight Aqua]

So... Have I really caused that much damage here? Am I not coming off as being as nice as I want to be? I have said a lot of stupid and unnecessary things here, but if I really have been that bad, then why did no one tell me sooner?

I really want to keep using this forum, but it just seems so dangerous now. Maybe the staff should start being less tolerant, at least in my case... I feel like I have made too many mistakes now. I deserve more infractions. Do any of you hate me for what I have done? How much? I never realized that I was not behaving properly.

Even as I re-read my post, I am not conveying my message properly. I am sorry to any readers.

Okay, I'm guessing that no matter how much coaxing and trying to reassure you that's nothing is wrong is going to stop you from keep being you down. What do you want? Do you want us to say we hate you? That you're nothing to us? That you should leave from here? That you're nothing but a bother to the staff?

Because even if this crap I'm writing is NOT TRUE (I'm bolding it and putting it in red, so you can see that everything I just wrote is NOT TRUE) it seems you want us to write that and kick you out, so you can be a victim. STOP BRINGING YOURSELF DOWN! It's a f'ing forum! It's the internet, the internet do NOT MATTER! You shouldn't care what you write or what you say, just write! Why did you join here? Because you like Kingdom Hearts right? Then you are okay here and you belong here. Just stay here longer and you'll see, you'll make friends and have fun like we all do. But you have to chill out!

 

[Odium Crop]

Okay, I'm guessing that no matter how much coaxing and trying to reassure you that's nothing is wrong is going to stop you from keep being you down. What do you want? Do you want us to say we hate you? That you're nothing to us? That you should leave from here? That you're nothing but a bother to the staff?

Because even if this crap I'm writing is NOT TRUE (I'm bolding it and putting it in red, so you can see that everything I just wrote is NOT TRUE) it seems you want us to write that and kick you out, so you can be a victim. STOP BRINGING YOURSELF DOWN! It's a f'ing forum! It's the internet, the internet do NOT MATTER! You shouldn't care what you write or what you say, just write! Why did you join here? Because you like Kingdom Hearts right? Then you are okay here and you belong here. Just stay here longer and you'll see, you'll make friends and have fun like we all do. But you have to chill out!

Okay, I understand.

It was initially supposed to reply to lycorismoon29's post, though.